Cousins, etc.

I have about 20 first cousins, with my dad being one of five siblings and my mother one of six. 

As I was growing up, I saw these cousins infrequently. Some of them I hardly know to this day and on my mother's side, there are a few I have never met. Two of her siblings were half-siblings who were born much later than she and her other siblings, and had their families later. 

Of course, some of the cousins have now died. I am not sure how many I have that are still living, but I am guessing somewhere in the neighborhood of 15. 

I have one from my mother's side who lives in the Nashville area, and we get together maybe twice a year. Every couple of years or so, Wife and I might have dinner with him and his wife. They have one son who lives here. Years ago, I ran into him at a restaurant and tried to explain to him who I was, but I could tell he did not quite understand. 

When my brother was living, when he or any part of his family came to town, we would invite this cousin and his wife to join us for a meal. 

I need not go into the reasons I have never gotten to know most of my cousins very well, other than to say (and this is nothing profound) families are complicated. I know some families in which the cousins are much closer. My children are not particularly close to their first cousins (my brother's children and Wife's sister's children), which I think is partially due to the distance they grew up from each other and partially to how very, very different they are from each other. I think my grandchildren will be closer to each other, and I hope that will be the case. 

As it turns out, over the past year, I have seen every living first cousin from my dad's side. The cousin to whom I am closest lives in Dallas. Even though she is about 15 years older than I, she is definitely the one I know best. When her husband died late last year, I went for the funeral. Also in attendance was another first cousin whom I had not seen in probably 50 years, and as best I can remember, this was the third time I had ever seen her. 

Then, last spring, one of my first cousins who had lived in Memphis passed away. There was a delayed memorial service for her in August, and I went for that. All of my other first cousins on my dad’s side, except for the other aforementioned one in Dallas, were there. 

Last Sunday, the Dallas cousin flew into Atlanta, where Wife and I had been visiting Older Son and family. We collected her at the airport and drove to the mountains of western North Carolina, where we stayed three days. While there, we visited one of the other cousins in that area who lives in Savannah, Georgia, but has bought a small farm in North Carolina and spends part of his time there with his wife. 

Wife and I love this part of North Carolina (it’s where we celebrated Wife’s birthday in June, which I previously posted). It is especially nice in the fall and the leaves were turning, which made it even prettier.

The time being with these two cousins was sweet, and I think we were all three mindful of the connection that binds us together, even though our visits have been relatively few. There were a number of conversations where we could put together our collective memories and come up with things that happened while we were growing up. We also learned from each other about our parents. 

Maybe we will do better about seeing and keeping up with each other. Even if we don't, I will cherish the visit we got to have. A picture of my cousin's farmhouse is below, along with some other shots of the fall foliage.