Recent reflections: Part one

It has been an interesting and eventful couple of weeks for me, a period of time in which I have experienced a range of emotions including sadness, awe and wonder, but have also had a great deal of fun.

As I mentioned in my last post, the solar eclipse on August 21st was the subject of much hype and excitement around these parts. Nashville was the largest city in the path of totality, and folks from all over the world descended upon middle Tennessee to witness this peculiar phenomenon.

Wife and I left the house about 11:15 that morning and drove a few miles north to a church parking lot we had previously staked out as a good vantage point to watch. We had wondered about traffic heading that direction, but it was no problem at all. If we hadn't known there was something special taking place, we would have thought it to be just another weekday.

(That was not to be the case as we drove back two and a half hours later, as thousands of people returned from their particular viewing locations and traffic was bumper to bumper).

We used the app on Wife's phone to tell us when the partial began, which was around noon. At that point we began using our special glasses and looked up every few minutes to witness the moon gradually crossing the path of the sun. All we could see through our glasses was the sun, which was a sign these glasses were the real deal and not a counterfeit. My fears of eye damage were put to rest.

We had a fair amount of cloud cover and at times during the partial, we could not see the sun for the clouds.

There was concern that this would be happening once totality hit. In areas of Nashville, this was in fact the case. In parts of downtown and in particular, at a local science center that had days of festivities leading up to the big event, the clouds covered up most of the total eclipse. Viewers in these locations (one of which was a downtown bar where patrons paid $500 for a spot on the rooftop!) witnessed the darkness that overtook the area, but they essentially missed seeing the big event itself due to the cloud cover.

Wife and I, however, were privileged to witness one minute and 21 seconds of totality with no clouds obstructing it. I will tell you this: it was not overrated.

When the moon totally covered the sun and we were able to remove our glasses and look directly at it, I witnessed something that will stay with me the rest of my life. Although a dusk-like darkness prevailed over us as stars came out and crickets began to chirp, the brilliantly white circle of brightness in the sky as the moon crossed in front of the sun made for a beauty unlike anything I have ever seen.

One of the things I loved about the entire experience was that, despite the hype and the many ways folks around here tried to commercialize it, it was a God-scheduled event that humans had nothing to do with.

And on a day that started with some very sad news, I was comforted. Looking at that brilliance in the sky for those 81 seconds reminded me of One strong and mighty who, even though He provides through his creation wonders our minds can hardly behold, He is also kind enough to remind me through such events that He loves us very much.

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Several hours earlier as I had gotten back in my car after an early morning workout, I saw my sister-in-law's name in my missed calls. I did not have to listen to her voice message to know the subject matter of her call. We rarely talk by phone, and certainly not at 7 a.m.

Her husband -- my brother -- had passed in the wee hours of that morning.

He had called me in January to tell me had been diagnosed with lung cancer. He also had COPD. He was optimistic about the chances of sending the cancer into remission and soon began an intense regimen of chemotherapy.

At first he tolerated the treatment pretty well. As time went on, however, it took its toll on his body and the typical side effects -- rapid weight loss, nausea, fatigue, hair loss -- occurred.

He had some good days. When I scheduled a trip to see him in late May/early June, and called to tell him, he and his wife had taken an impromptu camping trip because he was feeling so much better. I never even told him I was planning to come; I simply told him to enjoy his time in the great outdoors.

A few weeks after that, he called to report that scans showed the tumors were decreasing.

That, however, was the last bit of good news I received from him.There were a couple of hospital stays. In subsequent phone conversations, I could tell his breathing was becoming more labored.
On Saturday, July 29th I went to see him. I could tell he was in bad shape. Still, we had a good visit and, as usual, laughed over old family memories.

I talked to my sister-in-law privately before I left, and she said they were still confident he could at least get the cancer into remission and, when he would finish his chemotherapy in a few weeks, were hopeful he would begin to feel better.

Three weeks later he was gone.

He and I were the only two children born to my parents. He was five and a half years older.

He married young, at 19, when I was just starting the teen years. His marriage at that time was a matter of great sorrow to my parents, which was, sadly, a continuation of strained relations between him and them, and especially between him and my dad. It was a difficult and confusing time for me as a young adolescent and I began to distance myself from my brother as much as possible.

Understandably, somewhere along the way he began to hold me partially responsible for not only the uncomfortable relationship he and I had, but also the tense one he had with our parents.

Over the years, after he had his family and I had mine, we began to do a little better. We had done much better over the past 15 years or so, especially in the nearly 12 since my dad passed away (which is sad in itself). I think we finally began to understand each other. He and his wife visited us here a few times and we made some good memories.

We made it to the visitation and memorial service in south Arkansas on Tuesday and Wednesday (August 22nd and 23rd) of that week, and still left for our vacation to Ireland on Thursday the 24th.

I'll write more about our time in south Arkansas in my next post, and report on our spectacular Irish vacation in the subsequent one.