The Real Thing

Wife had to make a quick trip to Arkansas early this week. The best thing she brought back with her? Arkansas strawberries!

I will risk offending with this statement but I will make it anyway. There is no strawberry on the face of this Earth that will surpass one that is grown in the State of Arkansas. I can’t explain it but it’s true. (Probably true for tomatoes also, but I’ll leave that for later comment).

I will plead guilty to having a totally emotional and biased point of view. In South Arkansas where I grew up, the coming of spring also meant that the first strawberry crop was imminent (first ones were usually around the first of May). The fruit was sacred in my house. My dad, mom, brother and I all loved them.

For my father, however, the affinity for the lovely red berries bordered on the ridiculous. When he learned of the first strawberries being available, he would call my mother from his office in the late afternoon and tell her he would pick them up on his way home (this meant he would buy them at a make-shift market set up by a grower on the side of the road, or perhaps pick them at a pick-your-own type farm). She knew this was her signal to make sure the other ingredients for his favorite of all desserts were on hand (more on that below).

He had no tolerance for tasteless strawberries, especially those in grocery stores, which had been picked weeks earlier and shipped from some God-forsaken place like California. His belief was that one purchased (or picked) strawberries locally during strawberry season. When the season was over, one would wait until the next season for strawberries again. (Although it was permissible to freeze the freshly picked ones for later use as an ingredient in certain recipes).

I have tried to be a little more open minded than Dad, but some of these quirks, I am afraid, have stayed with me. Read on.

To my way of thinking, strawberries are good in a variety of ways. In my advanced age, where I can gain a pound just by looking at calorie-laden food, I mostly just eat them by themselves. But they’re wonderful in a pie, on top of ice cream or as the key ingredient in homemade strawberry ice cream. They’re very good sliced over cereal or oatmeal or mixed with other fruit. Wife has a great recipe for a strawberry cake. All are perfectly acceptable ways to enjoy fresh strawberries.

Strawberries are never better, however, than when they are served fresh in the most luscious of all desserts, strawberry shortcake.

Unfortunately, many times a dessert is presented as strawberry shortcake when, in fact, it is not. It is an imposter. You might have been a victim of such deception but this is your lucky day. I am here to tell you exactly how to prepare true strawberry shortcake and it is not difficult.

Start with a pie crust (the “shortcake”). You may make one or purchase one. Wife, a wonderful cook, has conceded that a pre-packaged crust that can be unrolled and baked is just about as good as one she can make and, of course, many times easier to prepare. Before baking the pie crust, cut it into circles using a cookie cutter or the top of a drinking glass, about three-or-so inches in diameter. Bake the circles in the oven on a cookie sheet until golden brown.

Next, of course, is the key ingredient – the strawberries. Mash them lightly with a fork or some other instrument (I think you can even buy something for this purpose) until they are just a little juicy, but don’t over-mash them as you don’t want “strawberry soup.” Add sugar as you mash. How much? Depends on how sweet you like them. If the berries are plenty ripe, you won’t need much. Add a little and see how they taste. Do not use Splenda or any other artificial sweetener.

Next -- and this is crucial -- is the whipped cream. You do not use Cool Whip or anything else that might come in a pre-packaged container or, God forbid, a can out of which the concoction squirts. No matter how the manufacturer might package and sell it, this is not whipped cream.

If you’ve never whipped cream, it’s easy. You buy cream in a carton, put it in your mixer and whip away. You can also add a little sugar to this while it’s in the mixer. It’s absolutely heavenly and when I arrive there (in heaven, that is) – where, not only will there be no more weeping, neither will there be high cholesterol and I will have a perpetual 34-inch waist -- I will order an unending supply.

In an individual bowl, place a couple of the crusts, three if you’re really hungry, and break them into several pieces if you like. Put a generous serving of the juiced berries on top. Then top with a liberal dollop of the whipped cream, and prepare for ecstasy.

Remember, this is the only true strawberry shortcake. If you are presented strawberries on a little spongy cake with some kind of topping on it, you may accept it graciously and enjoy, but be aware you are not eating real strawberry shortcake. Similarly, strawberries atop ice cream or pound cake might taste just fine, but this is not strawberry shortcake either. (It is your decision whether or not you want to correct someone who serves any of these items to you and bills it as strawberry shortcake. Wife has asked that I refrain from doing so).

So now you know what it is and, just as important, what it isn’t.

Go forthwith and make some of this for yourself and your household while there are still fresh strawberries. If you are not in Arkansas, you are permitted, of course, to acquire those indigenous to your own area. If you are fortunate enough to reside in Arkansas this time of year, you know the routine.

You may all thank me later.

None Better

Wife and I experienced a piece of pure heaven last night. We attended James Taylor's and Carole King's concert in Nashville, part of the "Troubador Reunion" tour.

Although I know every generation thinks the music they listened to in their formative years is the best ever, I challenge anyone to say/think it gets any better than this.

The tunes took me back, of course. Whether it was the radio at summer Boy Scout camp, my bedroom or in the car-- or wearing out the turntable with JT"s Great Hits and Carole King's "Tapestry" -- so many of their songs were the ones that defined my youth and have stayed with me.

"It's Too Late."

"So Far Away."

"Sweet Baby James."

"You've Got a Friend."

"Way Over Yonder."

"Carolina in My Mind."

"Natural Woman."

"Shower the People."

"Steamroller."

And the hits just keep on coming. You know them, too.

Thanks, my old friends, for a great time last night. Thanks for continuing to ply your trade and give the gift of your amazing talent.

Cheating? Me?

A couple of years ago I became aware of a pretty cool website, http://www.oneacross.com/.

It helps you work your crossword puzzles. You put in the clue and the number of letters and it will give you a number of choices. Most times your options will include the one you're looking for.

Last night I was on the sofa, down to about six words left in my puzzle, and Wife was at the computer. I asked her to pull up one-across and put in the clues for me.

Wife, not a crossword worker, asked with a scowl, "Isn't that cheating?"

Cheating?! Well I never thought of it that way. I only go to one-across when I've exhausted my own brain, then the dictionary, crossword dictionary and thesaurus. I'm proud to say that sometimes I can work the crossword without consulting any of them.

But it's a personal defeat if I put down the newspaper with blanks still in the crossword puzzle. So I go to one-across as my last stop.

But now Wife has got me to thinking that maybe I'm cheating, maybe I'm just living a lie. I never once in my life have cheated at Solitaire. If the cards aren't there, the cards aren't there and I just leave it at that or start another game.

I also never allowed my children to use Cliff''s or Sparks notes as a substitute for reading a book they were assigned, nor did I allow them to watch a movie version in a book's place. If I had ever found out they were getting a canned research paper online, I would have grounded them for at least a year.

Now, if they find out I use a website to help me with a crossword puzzle, will they decide I was just a hypocrite all along and the values I attempted to instill were all for nothing? They might have to go to therapy and send me the bill. All because Wife thinks maybe I'm cheating.

Well I guess I'm cheating myself. I'll have to see if there's some crossword puzzle governing body and see what their rules are. In the meantime, I'll have to give this a little more thought.

A five letter word for taking a shortcut????