Mid-Life Thoughts from Bob

Modern applicances

2012-02-12T08:30:00.002-06:00

It is no secret that, although I enjoy and take advantage of many parts of it, there are parts of modern technology that frustrate me.

I will give you a good example.

In 1985, when Wife and I bought our first house after being married less than a year, my parents bought us a house-warming gift: a Maytag washer and dryer. My mother told us we would have them at least 20 years and she would have never had another brand. They had very simple little knobs and controls and the washer had the normal cycles like gentle, delicates, permament press, etc. All of this was, of course, operated with a little dial that would point you to the various features. Even I could work it.

Through the years of raising a family we washed and dried, I am certain, literally tons of laundry.

In 2006, after 21 years of faithful service from the two machines, Wife and I dedcided it was time to replace them. We were not having any significant trouble but the drier was taking longer and longer to get clothes dry and the washer seemed, well, "tired."

We had gone a year past the time my mom had said they would last. We had never had one repair call for the washer. We had had the drier serviced a couple of times but, as I remember, neither time was anything major or expensive.

We did a little research back in '06 and decided the front loading washer and dryer would be a good kind for us. The washers were reportedly very efficient and used less water and with a front load washer, we might as well have the same feature in a dryer.

I was on a trip to Colorado in September of that year and Wife called and said she had found a set she liked. I told her it was fine with me and when I got home, they had arrived.

We opted out of the little platforms you could buy to set them on so you wouldn't have to bend over as far. They added several hundred dollars to the price and we reasoned that we could still bend down just fine and even envisioned maybe building (or having built) a custom platform sometime in the future.

Both machines have digital displays which are, of course, more difficult for me to deal with than what we previously had. But Wife was excited to have these new, modern appliances and I was confident we could both master operation of the updated controls.

We did learn how to work them but I am sorry to report that these machines, especially the washer, have been a major disappointment. The dryer has never seemed to get clothes completely dry on its normal run and we almost always have to add additional time to it. I've always felt like there was something I could probably do to remedy that problem but have never taken the time to try to figure it out.

The washer has been a nightmare. It is noisy beyond belief and it shakes the ENTIRE HOUSE. It sounds like an airplane about to take flight and if I'm upstairs and the windows begin to vibrate, I know that Wife is downstairs washing clothes. This is no exaggeration.

As to its ability to wash clothes, I would rate it a mediocre -- at best. Clothes have seemed a little mildew-y at times. But the noise is by far the worst feature.

We are throwing in the towel. Last weekend the digital display on the washing machine stopped at 22 minutes. Then it started flashing "N-D" which we, upon investigation, learned to mean "No Drain." So our clothes were sitting in the machine, soaked, and the water was not draining. And we couldn't open the door.

I pulled it out from the wall and fooled around with the drainage hose. Long story short, we were able to get it running again and got the water drained so we could get the clothes out, but this went on all week. We can operate the thing but we have to stop and start and it takes about 1.5 - 2 hours to wash a load.

Friday we had a repair guy come and he pronounced the control panel "fried." The cost to repair? A whopping $700 -- MORE THAN THE COST OF THE MACHINE! In other words, this way cool, up- to-date washer lasted less than six years, about a fourth of the time of our first one.

We are going back to top loading and we're getting the simplest one we can find. You know, all these digital displays and controls are just as cool as they can be but if they are not going to last any longer than this, I'm really not interested.

Wife says we'll continue to live with the dryer for a while but I wonder about that.

Time flies; mild winter

2012-01-29T19:38:00.000-06:00

Where did January go? Will someone please tell me?

It has been a pretty busy month so far, which is probably the reason it feels like time has passed so quickly. Effective January 1st, I became Chairman of the Board of the non-profit on whose board I have served since 2004. A couple of years ago when I became vice-chair, the two years before I would take the chair position seemed such a long time away . . . and now my two-year term has begun.

I am passionate about the cause for which this non-profit exists -- to help the homeless and hurting, to provide them food and shelter and to, hopefully, provide them the resources to get back on their feet and become self-sufficient. A large percentage of the clientele are addicted to drugs and alcohol and those addictions hold them in a tight grip.

Jesus said we are to help the "least of these" and that when we are so doing, we are serving Him. It's a tall order and there are numerous obstacles along the way but it's a high calling.

We have hired a new CEO for this organization after a year-long search and interview process. He starts in about a week and he and I will be learning together. We have high hopes for him and have every reason to believe he will be a strong leader.

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Older Son, firmly entrenched in his life in Dallas now, turned 26 last Tuesday. UNBELIEVABLE! Wasn't it just a few days ago we were bringing him home from the hospital, the same day the space shuttle Challenger exploded? And I had hair? (I think this is when I began losing it).

Wife and I are going to Dallas to visit him and DIL next Friday and we can't wait!

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It has been a mild winter here in Middle Tennessee. While last year at this time we were freezing our little booties off and schools were pushing the limit on snow days, there has been only one county-wide snow day this year and frankly, that one was a little iffy. I think since it was mid January and there had been none up to that point, the school officials had some leeway in making that decision.

Not that it has any direct impact on us anymore. We're past the days of waiting for that fateful recorded call announcing the school closings for bad weather and hearing our kiddos erupt in cheers.

I am still holding out for a good snow this winter. I really like the white stuff and feel a little cheated if we go through a winter with nothing more than a few flurries. Maybe if the groundhog sees his shadow this week our chances will improve.

Chevy runs deep

2012-01-13T20:54:00.001-06:00

Full Disclosure: This is recycled from one of my recent columns at Brentwood Home Page. Wanted to share it here:

I am a total sucker for the TV commercials that tug at my heartstrings.

During the holidays Wife and I are especially partial to the Publix ad showing the medical resident working Christmas Eve, talking to his mom on his cell phone.

In a subsequent scene he calls her back and tells her to wish all the family a Happy Holiday, then trudges into his apartment alone, only to find her and the rest of the family all there, baking and decorating.

And don’t even get me started on the Hallmark ads, or any of the ones where soldiers or long lost family members are showing up to surprise their families. They get me every time.

You would think a car commercial would not affect me. Think again.

The latest campaign for Chevrolet incorporates the slogan “Chevy Runs Deep,” pronounced by none other than Tim Allen, a/k/a “Tim-the-Tool-Man Taylor,” the prototypical Guy’s Guy from the 90s TV show Home Improvement. The Tool Man’s love affair with machinery, especially cars, was the pervasive theme of the family sitcom.

The latest commercial that puts me in a puddle every time I see it shows a grandfather playing with his little granddaughter in a park. He looks over his shoulder and sees his grown son pulling up in a 1965 Impala, the very one he owned years ago. His wife and another son are also there and they present him with the keys, telling him it took five years for them to find the car with which he had reluctantly parted years earlier.

Grandpa drives the car away and is heard talking about how it’s not just the car, it’s the memories. And in this particular spot, the Tool Man is heard to say, “From fathers to sons, Chevy runs deep.”

I’m not a car guy. I don’t have that in common with The Tool Man or Grandpa. I see an automobile as a utilitarian means to an end and I have never gotten excited about what make or model I drive. Get me from Point A to Point B and that’s all I care about.

So why, pray tell, does “Chevy Runs Deep” touch something inside of me?

I’ll tell you why.

From an early age, long before he could drive, Older Son wanted a pickup truck. I never understood the yearning, but his desire only became stronger as he got older. He dutifully drove hand-me-down family sedans until the summer after his freshman year in college, when he and I drove to Lexington, Tenn. and purchased a bright green 2000 Chevy Silverado with four-wheel-drive.

He had found it online after a thorough search. It had about 68,000 miles on it and was in good condition. We each took it for a test drive and we negotiated a pretty good deal.

Once he could get his feet back on the ground from the excitement of it all, he proudly drove it back toward Nashville. It was soon christened as the “Green Monster.”

It served him well through college, including a period of time that he lived in a God-forsaken dwelling high atop a hill in some woods just outside Auburn, Alabama -- property affectionately known by him and his roommates as “The Farm.” The Green Monster was, of course, well equipped to traverse the rugged terrain leading up to their lovely “home” (and I use that term loosely).

I must admit having that truck in the family has come in handy over the past seven years. Moving college students in and out of their latest accommodations (like The Farm), hauling debris, taking a riding lawn mower to the repair shop – the uses are endless, really.

And Older Son learned that other folks quickly make friends with pickup truck owners. He has been extremely gracious to let others use it when asked.

With mileage now over 150,000, he has had to put some money into it to keep it in running condition and has done so responsibly and carefully. He asked a shop owner he trusts to let him know when he thought it would be time to perhaps think about parting with it rather than spending more. Happily, he has not received that directive.

Last year, about a month before his wedding, his wife-to-be asked to borrow the Green Monster for a few hours. I can’t remember the tale she concocted to justify her need for it but she somehow convinced him to turn over the key for an afternoon.

He learned the reason a month later when he saw the beautiful photo of his bride in her wedding dress, sitting in the driver’s seat of his prized vehicle.

His mother and I drove it to Dallas for the newlyweds in early October when they made their move there. It ran like a top and was extremely useful for items that didn’t make it into the rented moving van.

Older Son’s new job will require a bit of driving around the sprawling Dallas-Fort Worth metropolitan area. He and his wife have been painfully contemplating trading in the truck for something more fuel efficient. It’s in good shape and running well, and he’s confident there is a buyer there in Texas who would pay a good price.

I’m still not a car guy, but I have tears in my eyes even as I type this. Like Grandpa in the commercial says, it’s not just the car (or truck), it’s the memories. That truck is full of them.

I was relieved to receive a text message from Older Son a couple of weeks ago that simply stated, “Keeping the truck for a while.” He had to have anticipated the grin on my face as I read that.

I’ve seen him get married, have surgery and move to Texas in the past year. I know it’s not about me, but I appreciate not having to deal with another emotional passage just now and I’m thankful the Green Monster is staying with us – or him – for at least a while longer.

Oh yes, friends. From fathers to sons (or sons to fathers), Chevy runs deep.

Happy New Year

2011-12-31T18:23:00.000-06:00

6:05 p.m. New Year's Eve and Wife and I are already in our "jammies" waiting for the Chick Fil-A Bowl to start. It will probably be the only bowl game I watch in its entirety (Auburn is playing). There are just so many games now and the whole BCS thing has kind of spoiled it for me. I will not sit and watch football New Year's Day (or Jan 2nd this year) as I used to do. Just doesn't hold my interest.

Wife and I decided we would have a very calm New Year's and NY Eve. Daughter has a couple of friends here and they are going out and staying elsewhere tonight. Younger Son and some friends have gone to a concert in South Carolina. Some friends had mentioned maybe having a party but they folded and we just didn't have it in us to invite anyone over ourselves. So it's just us, and we're fine with it.

We found a discount theater earlier today, about 20 minutes away, that was showing "Moneyball" and you could not beat the ticket price -- two bucks! We agreed we would remember that theater because, except for during the holidays, we rarely make it to the movies and will often say, "Oh I meant to go see that" after it is already gone. This particular theater, apparently, shows, for a greatly discounted price, films that are between the theater and DVD release. Can't beat that.

Loved the movie, by the way. As I had noted in my last post, it was a favorite book of 2011 and the movie did it justice. If you are not a baseball fan, however, you might not find it as entertaining as I did.

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Last year on New Year's Eve Wife and I looked at each other and said, "hang on," knowing with a wedding and graduations coming up, it would be an eventful year. We didn't know the half of it. As my dog Ralph said in our family Christmas letter, quoting Wife, a good year but not one I would want to live over again.

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Have you heard about the tiny country of Samoa, near the International Date Line, which decided to move to the OTHER side of the IDL, meaning they had to skip an entire day? That's right, they went straight from Thursday, Dec. 29th to Saturday, Dec. 31st.

I heard an interview with a Samoan lady who said she was pretty pleased about the whole thing. Since they are neighbors with New Zealand and Australia, with whom they deal heavily in trade and commerce and who have been a day ahead of them for as long as anyone can remember, it's been a source of stress and concern for business people in Samoa for quite some time.

The lady interviewed said that, due to the difference in times with their neighbors, she would sometimes have to go to work on Sunday, "or Monday, which is really Tuesday."

Whoo, that would be enough to confuse me too, Lady. Good for you.

Good reading

2011-12-28T22:18:00.000-06:00

I will, hopefully, have some photos to post from our "Asian Christmas Eve" and other holiday happenings at our house, within a few days. I always have to have Daughter's help in performing such high tech activities as posting photos and she's a little busy right now.

For now I'm going to give you my year-end reading review. Once I finish Nearing Home by renowned evangelist Billy Graham, I will have completed my 24th book for 2011. I know this is not nearly as many as some of you read but for me, averaging two books per month is pretty good. I always have a mental, if not literal, stack of "to read" books and it just takes a while to get to all of them.

Since I mentioned Nearing Home, I will tell you it is a sweet, sweet book full of good advice for all ages from "America's Pastor." He says in the introduction, "All my life I was taught how to die as a Christian, but no one taught me how I ought to live in the years before I die. I wish they had because I am an old man now, and believe me, it's not easy."

Right before this I read Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins, one of the strangest books I have read in a long time. It was highly recommended by Wife, Older Son and DIL and as I read it, I kept questioning Wife as to why she was so drawn to it.

As I continued to read, however, I became more and more drawn into the story myself. It's fantasy and science fiction, and I am a fan of neither, and besides that it is WEIRD. But I confess, I could not put it down in spite of myself. The movie is coming out in March and there will be much buildup to it, so I recommend you get it and read it soon. And it's the first of a trilogy. Yes, I will be reading the next two.

My favorite non-fiction of the year was Unbroken by Laura Hillenbrand (author of Seabiscuit), the beautiful story of U.S. Olympian and war hero Louis Zamperini. You might remember that I wrote a few months ago about Wife getting to meet him. If you have not already done so, get this and read it. You'll be a better person for it.

On the fiction side, I loved Cutting for Stone by Abraham Verghese, the compelling tale of twin boys born in unlikely circumstances in Ethiopia whose lives eventually take different paths. Great writing and a great
book.

I read Blue Like Jazz for the second time, the book that brought unconventional Christian writer Donald Miller to notoriety. Read this book, Christian or not, and you will alternately laugh and cry and thoroughly enjoy yourself. I wish I could write like Donald Miller.

Also on the spiritual side, I adored Jesus, My Father, The CIA and Me, a memoir by Ian Morgan Cron, whom I met in October 2010 whowrote one of my all time favorites, Chasing Francis. When I met him last year, Ian recommended to me Thomas Merton's Seven Storey Mountain, which I also enjoyed.

The latest installment in The Number One Lady's Detective Agency series, The Saturday Big Tent Wedding Party (Alexander McCall Smith), certainly did not disappoint. This is number 11 in the series and I can't think of one that did not leave me with a big smile on my face after finishing it.

I read Ayn Rand's classic, Fountainhead, at DIL's urging. This is capitalism at its extreme (and not a pretty extreme, either) and it's a page turner.

The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks (Rebecca Skloot) had to be one of the most interesting books I have read in a long, long time, and if I knew more about science, it would have been even more so. It's an unbelievable (but true) story about an everyday woman whose cells became famous beyond what she would have ever believed.

John Grisham continues to turn them out and I still find his tales gripping, hilarious and compelling from start to finish. The Confession and The Litigators are his two latest and I thoroughly enjoyed both.

If you are an animal lover, you will definitely love The Art of Racing in the Rain (Garth Stein), written from a dog's point of view, which is especially cool for me because my dog, Ralph, sometimes writes my family's Christmas letter. I think you would like this book even if you're not a dog person. If you are, there's no way you won't love it. I liked it even better than Marley and Me.

Older Son recommended I read Moneyball by Michael Lewis (author of The Blind Side) before seeing the movie. It's a great story about the business of baseball and I loved it. Only thing is, by the time I finished it the movie was gone from theaters, so I am anxiously awaiting its release on DVD.

Finally, I completed two more Wendell Berry stories, Andy Catlett: Early Travels and Nathan Coulter. If you have not discovered this incredible American farmer/professor/author, get yourself to the library, the bookstore or Amazon before you do another thing.

Finally, I must mention The Distant Land of My Father by Bo Cadwell, much of which is set in Shanghai. Great, great book about family and redemption.

OK folks, now I need to know what should be in my "to read" stack for 2012. Let me hear from you.

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As for movies, Wife and I always take in a couple or so around the holidays, then hardly go at all for the rest of the year. We saw War Horse and We Bought a Zoo on consecutive nights this week and loved them both. Well worth your time.

Happy Holidays

2011-12-23T14:35:00.000-06:00

I have previously written about how we do an "international" Christmas Eve at our house. I think this is our fourth time to do it. We've done Mexican, Italian and Greek. This year it's Asian.

According to Wife, we are doing something unprecedented -- getting all takeout! I guess, since Chinese restaurants are famous for staying open through Christmas, it's just the natural thing to do.

We are, from Wife, promised a few surprises for the decor so I'll report back on that. Should be a hoot.

Menu items include sushi, orange chicken, egg rolls, fried rice and edameme. That's what I've been told. Would not be surprised to see egg drop or wan ton soup make it to the table as well. And I'm sure there will be fortune cookies.

For "entertainment," Daughter has found a Chinese version of "Jingle Bells!"

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We are in full holiday mode.

Some dear friends of mine were here for a concert Wed. night. They came by and we went to lunch yesterday (Thurs.). That really kicked off the holiday for me.

Older son flew to Little Rock from Dallas Thursday afternoon. Wife's parents picked him up at the airport and they drove over here. So, so good to see him and so glad he's here. DIL flew in yesterday. We will have everyone, including DIL's parents, for Christmas Day lunch.

We are big game players and we've already had a few rounds of Phase Ten, and Wife and I played Bridge with her folks last night.

How incredibly blessed I am to have these people I love around me at Christmas. May I never take it for granted.

Merry Christmas to all of you.

Do not buy . . .

2011-12-18T19:00:00.000-06:00

We are about ready for Christmas at our house. We finished getting the tree decorated nearly a week ago and I did some minimal outside decorating.

When we moved into our house ten years ago, Wife bought some wreaths to hang on the windows across the front. Every year when I take them down I say, gently, "Honey, before I hang the wreaths next year, you might want to freshen up the bows just a bit." I can hang the wreaths but I don't fool with items such as bows.

Do you think we give those bows one thought during the year after I take them down? Heavens no. The fact is, most people don't get close enough to them to notice they are a little old and crumpled. Maybe this year we'll go down, oh, say about August, and think about those bows. Maybe.

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I've mentioned here before that I am not a very good gift receiver. I don't care for gadgetry and electronics. I check out most books I read from the library. Clothes? Wife can pick me out some clothes and I am happy to receive them but I don't go nuts over them. She knows not to buy me stuff that has little horse labels or whales or things like that, because I think those clothes are so over priced and I don't want to wear them and send the wrong signal about myself. I'm a simple guy, you know.

A few years ago I started making a list of suggested Christmas gifts for myself to help my family. I also included, to their amusement (and to Wife's disdain) a "Do Not Buy" list -- a roster of items NOT to get me. Frankly, I think that's more important than the list of thiings to get me.

Because if you buy me on the DNB list, you have no right to get angry if I don't use or wear that gift. You were forewarned.

Anyway, in looking through the Target circular today, I saw two items that I would put on my permanent DNB list.

One is a coffee maker that makes one cup of coffee. I don't drink coffee, so I am sure I am uninformed about all the intricate details of coffee making and preparing, but here's what I find profoundly mysterious. There is this fancy coffee make that makes ONE -- that's right, one -- cup of coffee and it costs well over $100. A Mr. Coffee coffee maker, that makes up to 16 cups, costs $16.99.

We have a coffee maker because we have friends and family who drink coffee but I'll be darned if I'm going to make one cup at a time, especially at that cost.

I think the most baffling thing in today's Target Circular, however, is the "cake pop and donut hole maker."

Even if you want one of these, I would highly recommend passing on it for now. I'll lay you odds you'll see one at a garage sale by summer.

Beginning to look a lot like something, I guess

2011-12-11T15:53:00.001-06:00

We don't get in a hurry with Christmas around our house.

It's December 11th, two full weeks before Christmas, and I got the tree up yesterday but it's still naked. We'll get the lights and decorations on over the next few days. It will happen.

Wife said yesterday that "we just got a late start this year" but really, I think two weeks ahead of time is plenty. Since we still get a real tree, there is less time for it to get dry.

I put up a garland around the front door and hung wreaths on the windows this afternoon. I'm sure the neighbors, most of whom had their outside lights up Thanksgiving weekend, were thinking we would just not participate this year. Be patient, folks; we still observe Christmas.

I don't have to worry about shopping because we agreed long ago that Wife would take care of that. I am not, shall we say, inclined that way. I just hate it and Wife knows it, so she doesn't even try to get me involved. I think she knows how much I appreciate it and that I'll help in other ways.

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We are invited to a "Christmas Murder Mystery" party tonight. It's one of those theme parties where there's a whole story involved and you're assigned a character to play. We went to one a number of years ago (not at Christmas) and I can take them or leave them, but I try to be a good sport.

Wife is assigned the part of Mrs. Santa Claus and I am a Gingerbread Man. Wife, of course, is taking it very seriously. She considered a number of options and ended up getting a costume from a rental place. She tried it on for me and it looks great on her. Only the white wig gives a bit of a George Washington look so I told her she might pass on that.

I told her from the start that I would participate with a smile on my face (there is no assigned part for Ebeneezer Scrooge) but I would appreciate it if she would not involve herself in my part. I could just see her getting me some costume that I would refuse to wear and that would not go over well. So she kindly agreed to stay out of it.

Earlier this afternoon I asked Daughter if she would help me. I gave her a brown sweater that I have and told her that, whatever she came up with, I would be fine with it.

She took some black felt and made some buttons to go down the front, and took some white felt and made some "icing" to put around the collar. Perfect. I'll be a splended Gingerbread Man.

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Younger Son made it home Friday night, a semester of college now under his belt. He'll be here about a month and the supposed empty nest will swell even more later this month when Older Son and DIL, as well as my in-laws, come for Christmas. It will be a merry time.

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I recently told Wife that one of my goals for 2012 is to meet one of my blog friends in person. Kelly doesn't count, of course -- my hometown friend is the one who got me into all of this and I'm fortunate enough to get to see her once a year or so. Her sweet sister Pam doesn't really count either because I met her years ago, although she might want to be on the lookout. Since Older Son lives in Dallas now, I might just show up on her doorstep when I'm there visiting.

For any of the rest of you whose blog titles are on the right on my homepage (except for my son and daughter, of course) -- you have been warned.

Thankful

2011-11-27T15:49:00.001-06:00

It has been a very fast but most enjoyable few days. How appropriate it is that we gather our families close for a holiday called Thanksgiving.

As we gathered around our Thanksgiving table and joined hands, I couldn't even get the words out. Emotion overcame me as I thought of how incredibly blessed I am by the people around that table.

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Blessings of the last week:

-- Having Younger Son come home early in the week. I can't put into words how great it was to have him back at home for a few days. To hear him stomping up the stairs and knocking around the house, having him hit me on the arm and give me a big bear hug -- all the things that make him the guy he is -- was pure joy.

-- Running a 5K Thanksgiving morning with Daughter and Wife. We didn't set any records but we had a lot of fun. And of course by starting the day with exercise, we could give ourselves permission to eat whatever we wanted, all day long.

-- Seeing Older Son and DIL walk in the door Thanksgiving Day. Hasn't even been that long but long enough.

-- Taking food to an inner city church Thanksgiving Day where they feed those who are hurting, down on their luck or whatever in their community. The people in that church get what it means to love their neighbor. It was a privilege to help in a small way.

-- Seeing Daughter in the kitchen with Wife Thanksgiving Day, loving the preparation as much as her mom and adding her own special touch.

-- Sitting on the sofa with Wife after everything quieted down and thinking about how blessed we are.

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There was, of course, football over the long weekend. LSU looks headed to the BCS National Championship Game, continuing the dominance of the Southeast Conference.
And this time it's even better (or worse, depending on how you look at it) as they will very likely face another SEC foe in the title game -- Alabama, who handily defeated our beloved Auburn Tigers in the annual Iron Bowl classic on Saturday.

The discussions about the unfairness and inefficiencies of the BCS will reach fever pitch over the next couple of weeks but it's the system we have. We have to live with it.

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Finally, I hope you'll indulge me as I toot the horns of two of my children and their respective blogs. Younger Son aspires to be a sportswriter and recently started "The Whole Nine Yards" here where he will be pontificating on sports and other topics of interest to him. His wry wit comes through in every line.

Daughter continues to delight over at Delightfully Living and her most recent post brought tears to her dad's eyes.

So just in case you don't get enough of my family here at my place, go see what these two young folks are writing about.

Great tunes

2011-11-22T21:48:00.001-06:00

Daughter made a CD for me a few days ago. As you know, I don't do the iPod thing. I'm old fashioned and still listen to CDs and probably will as long as they are still available.

Anyway, I had mentioned to Daughter some songs I like and asked her to make the CD for me. She did and there are 19 songs. She included the ones I asked for as well as some surprises. She did a great job.

One of my current favorites, which is the lead-off song on the CD, is This is Home by Switchfoot. I heard it for the first time less than a year ago when my spin class instructor played it as our cool down song. As soon as class was over I asked him about it. It's part of the sound track from Prince Caspian, from Disney's The Chronicles of Narnia series. Now you know I don't know how to post a link from YouTube or anything like that but, if you haven't heard it, go find it somewhere and listen to it. Great lyrics.

Another song on the CD is Blessings by Laura Story. I will be honest: I don't always like contemporary Christian music. Some of the songs we sing in my church just leave me cold. But this one hits the mark, folks. This lady has a gorgeous voice and this song is beautiful, both the lyrics and melody. I did manage to find the lyrics for you:

We pray for blessings,
We pray for peace.
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep.
We pray for healing, for prosperity.
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering.
All the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things.

'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops?
What if Your healing comes through tears?
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near?
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise?

We pray for wisdom,
Your voice to hear.
And we cry in anger when we cannot feel You near.
We doubt Your goodness, we doubt Your love.
As if every promise from Your Word is not enough.
All the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long that we'd have faith to believe.

'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops?
What if Your healing comes through tears?
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near?
And what if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise?

When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know that pain reminds this heart
That this is not, this is not our home
It's not our home.

'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops?
What if Your healing comes through tears?
And what if a thousand sleepless nights?
Are what it takes to know You’re near?
What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy?

And what if trials of this life,
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are Your mercies in disguise?

My favorite line: What if my greatest disappointments or the aching of this life is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can't satisfy?

So go find this one, too. The words are incredible, as you can see, and when you hear them with the melody, you'll be moved. Trust me.

Happy Fall, Y'all

2011-11-12T13:29:00.001-06:00

Oh my gosh I do love the fall season. We have had a few of those near perfect days where the air is so crisp I just want to breathe it in with my eyes closed, but then I would miss the beautiful fall foliage.

I enjoyed the Veterans Days holiday immensely yesterday. I had driven to Memphis to work earlier in the week so Thursday night I drove two more hours to the west to Little Rock. I stayed with Wife's parents that night and had a great visit with them.

Got up early Friday morning and met one of my old friends, and a mentor of sorts, for breakfast. I worked for him for three years, from late 1984 through 1987. We had a unique opportunity to do a contract job together and not only did I learn a lot, but I gained a very close friend. It was great to catch up.

Later in the morning I drove out to a wonderful walking trail that meanders along the Arkansas River. While walking, a lady about my age passed by me and after a second I realized it was my cousin. I called her name and identified myself.

Her dad and my mother were brother and sister. Her dad had a congenital heart defect and died when he was in his thirties. I was, of course, very young when it happened and I remember being outside playing and going inside and finding my mother crying. It was the first time I had ever seen her cry and I remember being amazed that a grownup would even have the capacity to weep.

He had a son and daughter (the one I saw yesterday) who corresponded in age roughly to my older brother and me. Their mother never remarried. Through the years we would see them on occasion but really not very often, and I never got to know them very well.

So when I saw this cousin yesterday we hugged and exchanged pleasantries. Each of us filled in the other on our children and what they are doing. We talked a bit about our work. Then we headed off in opposite directions.

We don't know each other very well and that's kind of sad but there is still that undeniable connection. Her dad and my mom were brother and sister. And they would want us to at least stop and say hello. I am glad we did.

************************************************

I drove home yesterday afternoon. Two of Wife's dear friends are here spending the weekend. They were gone to dinner last night so Daughter, who has been a bit under the weather this week, and I went to get something to eat ourselves.

We went to one of those "fast casual" places that's a step up from true fast food. You order at a counter but the food's a little more like a restaurant. Anyway, we each ordered water to drink and were told we would find the cups over by the fountain that dispenses the drinks.

Only the cups were just slightly bigger than a shot glass or one of those paper cups they use at the dentist's office. So in other words, they punish you for drinking water.

Wife and I have noticed that in many restaurants now, when you order water, they bring it to you without ice. Now maybe that's a preference for some, but I like ice in my water. And yes, I will often order water to save money.

Note to food establishments: serving water to me in cups, or without ice, or in any other fashion that is supposed to discourage me from only ordering water, is going to have the opposite effect. I'll just keep filling up those little cups until I'm satisfied or I'm going to ask you to bring me ice and if that annoys you, or violates company policy, so be it. If I want water, I want water. And I don't intend to pay for it either.

*****************************************************

Older Son went and joined DIL in Dallas last week and all seems to be well. We miss them something awful but we're managing. They will be here for Thanksgiving and Christmas and we're looking forward to that.

Younger Son will be home in about a week, as he is out of school the week of Thanksgiving.

It will be good to have everyone together. I really enjoy this time of year.

A new look

2011-10-30T16:42:00.002-05:00

Daughter and I sat down together this afternoon and she helped me overhaul the blog look with a new background and a new photo. I could have never done it myself so I am grateful to her and her patience with me as we looked at all the options.

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Older son continues to improve. DIL went back today and he'll follow this Thursday. He saw his doc a few days ago, got his stitches out and got a good report.

He will be glad to get on with things. We will miss him but look forward to hearing about the new adventures he and DIL will have in their new home.

*****************************************

One of the cool things about having Older Son here for this extended period of time is that we got to watch the World Series together. He's a die-hard Atlanta Braves fan and I'm a longtime Astros fan, so neither of us had a dog in this fight, so to speak. As I wrote last week, during one of the rare times he and DIL have been together in their new home, they got to go to the American League Championship Series game where the Rangers beat the Detroit Tigers and won the American League Pennant. So Older Son, a National League guy like me, has adopted the Texas Rangers as his AL team since he lives there now.

But you couldn't help but be happy for the St. Louis Cardinals this past week and for all my friends and family (including my brother and Wife) who are Cards fans. In Game Six, two times they were only a strike away from losing, but they simply would not go away. It was indeed a "classic Fall Classic" and so much fun to watch.

For the Texas Rangers, it had to have stung to gotten to the big party two years in a row and come up short. But they're showing improvement. Last year they got swept and this year the series went to seven games.

*******************************************

Wife went to Las Vegas for a software conference this week. Yes, she really did go for a conference. I think she managed to take in some of the sights and sounds but all she'll say is that what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.

And I'm kidding, of course. Glad to have her back.

Very thankful

2011-10-23T16:10:00.000-05:00

A good friend and I snuck off on a recent Monday morning and did a little fishing. It was a gorgeous fall day with just the slightest nip in the air -- cool and crisp, the kind of morning that gives you a lift, especially if you are going fishing and not going to work.

When I picked him up at 6 a.m. he was all smiles, allowing as to how this was just what he needed. I told him I hoped the fishing would not disapppoint (which it didn't) but he said he was, at that very moment, already pronouncing it a successful outing, fish or no fish.

He and I are both allegedly at that "emtpy nest" phase of life but neither of us has seen a sign of one yet. He was feeling particularly overwhelmed and a day on the lake was just what he needed. He also put me to shame as far as catching fish was concerned. Glad I could help him out.

************************************************

I am pleased to report that Older Son came through his surgery with flying colors and is recuperating well here at the house. He and DIL flew in last Tuesday, which just happened to be my birthday, and we enjoyed a wonderful dinner with them, along with DIL's parents, that night.

His surgery was Wednesday and he stayed the night at the hospital, with DIL dutifully at his side, as she has been ever since. He's still on some pretty heavy pain meds, and takes naps intermittently as they kick in, but he's also getting up and going on short walks and showing steady improvement.

(Thanks to all who prayed for Older Son. I appreciate it more than you know).

**********************************************

I might have already mentioned that this is one of the best times of year for a number of reasons, not the least of which are college football and post-season baseball. Our favorite college team, Auburn, is not having the banner season of last year but there have been some unexpected wins.

As for post-season MLB, well, Older Son, with whom I have attended numerous games over the years, found himself, along with DIL, at the American League Championship Game last Saturday night in Arlington, TX where the Rangers beat the Detroit Tigers to win the AL pennant. So happy for him to get to do that.

Later in the week I got an e-mail from my friend in Little Rock, who also shares the baseball passion with me and who I met in St. Louis earlier this summer for a game (subject of earlier blog post), with the subject line saying, simply, "Going to Game 2 (of the World Series) in St. Louis." So happy for him too.

Oh, and did I mention that I am so happy and pleased for both of them? Years ago when I learned in Sunday School that I am not supposed to covet, I was told that it was OK to want something like my neighbor has; I just wasn't supposed to want what he had and wish he didn't have it.

OK. I'm glad my friend caught more fish than I did. I'm glad my son got to go see a team win the league pennant, something I have never done. And I'm just delighted for my buddy in Little Rock who got to go to a World Series game (also an incomplete item on my bucket list) and who, the next time he attends a game with me, will buy his own beer and hot dog.

I wish I could have caught an equal amount of fish that were mine (not his fish, but the same amount or greater); I wish I could have been at a pennant game; and I wish I could go to a World Series game.

See? Did all that without coveting. And I'll stop grinding my teeth as soon as I'm done writing this.

*********************************

I jest; you know I jest. Life is good for me, so much richer and better than I deserve and I try to remember to say a prayer of gratitude each day.

*********************************

A big shout-out and Happy Birthday to Younger Son, David, who turns 19 years old today. I could write pages and pages about what his life has meant to me and what a blessing he is to his entire family. But I won't.

I have missed him terribly this fall but continue to be immensely proud of him and happy for him as he experiences college life. Can't wait to have some quality time with him at Thanksgiving.

Like a river

2011-10-16T21:22:00.000-05:00

I have often told God in casual conversation that if He would just give me a good glimpse or preview of things to come, I could proceed much more easily with life.

Thing is, I don't think God is that interested in my having an easy life. He wants me to have FAITH and to be FAITHFUL. I love the verse of scripture that Kelly has on her blog home page about how we walk by faith, not by sight. But if I could just have a glimpse . . . .

OK, so I'm a slow learner.

Wife share with me just a couple of days ago that she and her Bible Study group were studying the "peace of God" and how there are references in the Bible to peace being "like a river."

"What do you think about when you think about a river?" Wife asked me.

I told Wife that I think about rapids. I thnk about swifly moving water, about currents and eddies. And then I think about stillness, where the water is more calm.

"Exactly," said Wife.

*************************************************

These past few months have been interesting, to say the least and our faith has been stretched. Older Son and DIL announce they are moving away. Younger Son goes to college. Daughter starts a new job.

Kind of like those rapids I just referenced.

Earlier this year, long before his June wedding, Older Son shared with us about some pain he was having in his back. He went to his doctor and she referred him for some physical therapy. It helped some, but not a great deal.

He had a cortizone shot before the wedding. About a month ago he told us the pain had come back and was, in fact, a little worse. He was also feeling some tingling in his legs.

Back to his doctor he went. This time she referred him to an orthopedic surgeon, who scheduled him for an MRI on a Thursday, the day before he and DIL would be leaving for Dallas. On Friday morning he saw the orthopedic to discuss the MRI.

Older Son has a herniated disk which is causing a pinched nerve, which is causing the pain. He gave him some options, one of which is surgery which should give him fairly immediate -- and permanent -- relief. He talked to DIL and he talked to us and did some research. We all prayed and Older Son came to the decision that this would be the best option. Short term discomfort and inconvenience for long term benefit.

He was supposed to have flown to Dallas this past Friday night to stay permanently. He did, in fact, go, but he and DIL will be returning to Nashville this Tuesday the 18th. On Wednesday the 19th Older Son will have surgery and he'll recuperate here with us for at least a couple of weeks. It is supposed to be a fairly short (about 45 minutes), minimally invasive procedure and, as I said, he should get relief from the pain. And his surgeon has assured him this should be an isolated matter that will not give rise to a lifetime of chronic problems such as this.

****************************

Of course, if I could, I would trade places with my son. In a heartbeat. That's what parents do.

But I can't. So I'll join him in walking by faith, not by sight, and trusting God for that peace like a river.

I'll look forward to sharing a good report with all of you later this week. In the meantime, please send up a prayer on Wednesday.

Doesn't get much better

2011-10-07T23:05:00.000-05:00

It's Friday night.

We made the trek to Dallas last weekend with Older Son and DIL. We drove their two cars and a rental truck filled with their earthly belongings.

There have been many mixed emotions since they announced their plans to us back in July. Wife and I wanted to be supportive but still felt an overlay of sadness about it. As time went on and we talked, and processed it, we became more accepting. Still sad, but accepting. As Wife quipped recently, "I believe God's in it but I think I'm mad at Him."

Wife and I both know that God is plenty big enough to handle our being mad. Or whatever else we might be.

Anyway, we went as far as Little Rock last Friday night and spent the night with Wife's parents. We arrived in Dallas around noon. Their new apartment is in a lovely, tree-filled neighborhood, right across the street from a golf course and next to a very nice walking trail. The apartment complex is probably 20 or so years old, but very nice and very well maintained.

Their apartment is small but it's a good floorplan and has plenty of closet and storage space. Older Son and DIL were excited as we unloaded their stuff and got them settled into their new home.

Older Son had wisely hired a couple of moving company employees to help us on that end and they had the truck unloaded in less than two hours. That was money very well spent. Of course Older Son had an ulterior motive -- to see the entire second half of the Auburn-South Carolina game which had started at 2:30 central time.

By 4:30 we were in a bar and saw the exciting second half. This was NOT a sports bar so it was a very sedate atmosphere. The bartender, in fact, told us we had some of the best silent cheers he had ever seen.
Best of all, Auburn pulled out the win.

On Sunday my old college buddy, who lives in a Dallas suburb, brought us lunch. Great to see him, as always, and I'm comforted by the fact that he'll be there where Older Son and DIL are.

I also have a wonderful cousin who lives just up the road from them. Older Son and I went by to see her and her husband Sunday afternoon while the girls went shopping for some provisions for the apartment. Great to see them too and, of course, they are family so it cheers me that they'll be there too.

Early Monday morning DIL took Wife, Older Son and me to the airport and we flew back to Tennessee. Older Son is wrapping things up at work with Wife this week and next, and staying here at the house with us.

Of course Daughter is here too and last night Younger Son called and said he would be coming home today for the weekend.

So this weekend our three little birdies are all back in the nest.

It's no secret that Wife and I have struggled a bit with all these changes taking place. And you know what I think? I think someone immensely wiser than ourselves knew exactly what we needed and gave us this wonderful gift of our intact family this weekend.

We know that all good gifts come from Him.

Good weekend

2011-09-25T22:00:00.000-05:00

We have had a fast but very enjoyable weekend. Wife, DIL, Daughter and I left yesterday (Saturday) morning and drove to Atlanta for the wedding of one of Older Son's college fraternity brothers. Older Son was to be in the wedding and he had gone down Friday afternoon so he could make the rehearsal dinner Friday night.

How I love traveling with these girls! It was truly a laugh a minute, starting before we even left, as Wife and I had to have a discussion about whether we would take our own pillows. Daughter and DIL found this hilarious. Wife and I reminded them that they would be old someday and they would understand. Wife and I took the pillows.

It was a beautiful day for the short drive to Atlanta and we got there in time for some sitting by the pool for the girls and watching the first half of the Arkansas-Alabama game for me.

The wedding was lovely and the reception was much fun. Older Son was in his element, as he always is, with his old chums. Wife and I have come to love these guys, so many of whom visited our home and became like family during Older Son's college years. It's always great to see them again. Fine young men, all of them.

Wife and I danced with the best of them. We're not that much better than we were before we took lessons, but we have a bit more confidence, so the money for those lessons was well spent.

*************************************************

This morning Wife and I got up and drove over to Auburn to see Younger Son and take him to lunch while Older Son, DIL and Daughter headed home.

Younger Son was well rested and in a good humor, so we had a great visit. He is busy with his classes and pledging the fraternity and gave us good reports on both. He had a flag football game later in the afternoon. While he did that, we did his laundry for him.

It was so good to see him and made me feel much better. I had fretted a bit since our last visit, just not satisfied with the amount of time we had together and concerned about the tiredness I sensed.

Today made up for that. I think he is learning to manage his time well, a valuable life lesson. I still miss him terribly, but this visit filled my tank, hopefully enough to get me to the next time we see him.

************************************************

Got home earlier tonight and Daughter is getting crafts ready for her children for school tomorrow. It's extremely gratifying for Wife and me to see her doing something for which she is so enthusiastic and so gifted. I'm so thankful for the time in her life when she's here with us.

Changes are constant

2011-09-19T17:36:00.001-05:00

Fall has always been my favorite season. I love that first hint of cool weather and the crispness in the air that soon follows.

Here in the south, we are teased a lot with a few cool days, then hot days that follow right behind. It can also change during the day. We might go to work in the morning with a sweater or coat and drive home with the AC blowing full blast.

We have had about a week of nice, cool-ish weather here in Middle Tennessee and it's extremely pleasant. I have enjoyed a number of outdoor runs and have enjoyed the less humid air and lower temperatures. I know it's not here to stay but I'll enjoy it while I can.

***************************************************

It just boggles my mind that we're already in mid-September. What a year this has already been. We've married off Older Son and soon he and DIL will be making their move; Daughter graduated from college and moved back home; and of course Younger Son has gone to college.

Speaking of Younger Son, we miss him fiercely. As boys tend to do, he communicates with us on what I call a "need to know" basis. When he thinks we need to know something, he tells us. And that's not very often. We're working on that.

Overall, with what we have been able to piece together, we think he is doing well. He tells us his classes are going fine and he is faithfully attending and doing what he needs to do. He has pledged a fraternity and is busy with that. As I said, we miss him but we're happy for him to have this change to spread his wings.

And speaking of Daughter, I am thrilled to announce that she has found full-time employment! She is teaching in a preschool. Probably not her "dream job" but a great place to start and she is very, very pleased. And she already is very happy with it, enjoying the three and four-year olds that have been entrusted to her.

And I will tell you that Wife and I just love having her here with us. We try very hard to be good "roommates," giving her space when she needs it but thoroughly enjoying her company.

She's threatening to write a book about life after college, moving back in with parents. It will feature, of course, all the witty things I say . . .

Early Autumn?

2011-09-06T19:57:00.000-05:00

Wow, it's been hot this summer here in Middle Tennessee. And lately it's been very, very dry.

We don't water here in the 'burb where I live. It's too expensive. We all kind of have this unwritten agreement that, if it doesn't rain, we'll just let our yards turn temporarily brown. We know it will rain again sometime and the green will come back but when we go through a dry spell, the yard's just going to turn brown. We'll water plants, but the grass suffers.

Our most recent dry spell has ended with a vengeance. We have gotten some of that wind and rain from the Tropical Depression Lee. Over the holiday weekend the rain came in and temperatures plunged into the 50s at night, if you can believe that.

It won't last but we're thankful for the wet stuff (although we've about had enough) and especially the relief from the heat.

Daughter has observed -- and I agree -- that people are getting a little ridiculous, talking about "how cold" it is, wearing jackets, etc. I think folks just look forward to the change of seasons and hurry it along any way they can.

_______________________________________________

We went to the first Auburn game over the weekend. They narrowly escaped defeat to Utah State. That's not a good sign of things to come. Oh well, you can't be on top every year.

Game time was 11 a.m. I detest the early kickoffs but of course it's all about TV and the money a school can make from that. Anyway, I knew it would be unbearably hot and I had no intention of sitting out there for the entire game.

As it turned out, there was a very stiff breeze (courtesy, I believe, of the aforementioned tropical depression) which made it entirely tolerable. I went down and took a break at half-time but other than that, I stayed right with it.

Got to spend just a little time with Younger Son. He seems to have adapted well to college life. Miss him terribly.

________________________________________________

We spent the remainder of the holiday weekend at our friends' lakehouse in North Alabama. It's become an annual Labor Day Weekend tradition. This year it was a complete washout with the weather. The wet and wind from the tropical depression followed us north and hardly let up from the time we arrived Saturday night until we left on Monday.

We had a brief break late Saturday afternoon and had a very pleasant time sitting out on the dock for a couple of hours before the rain once again started.

We still had a great time with great friends. Lots of good food, fellowship and rousing games kept us occupied and entertained.

_______________________________________________

We will have warm weather again, you can count on it. Still, this past weekend always marks the unofficial end to summer and a gradual beginning of a change of season.

And as that season changes, Wife and I are gradually adjusting to a new way of life. Daughter is here with us (and we are so glad) but she's an adult (she calls us her roommates), and we try to remember that. (Sorry, Sweetie, but these things take time).

We will soon see Older Son and DIL off on their new adventure and we are preparing ourselves for that.

And today I just happened to notice that my last blog entry was my 200th. I appreciate all of you who have come along for these mid-life thoughts. (When do I have to call it late mid-life?)

We'll see what happens with 200 more.

Irene

2011-08-27T21:36:00.002-05:00

Sitting here on Saturday night watching coverage of Hurricane Irene. Really amazing what a punch something like this can pack.

Wife is a weather junkie. She probabaly would have been a splendid meteorologist. She understands jet streams, dew points and high and low pressure systems. Me? I just try to catch the forecast when I can so I'll know whether or not to carry an umbrella. Most of that other stuff goes over my head.

As I write this, Irene is on her way north from North Carolina. Although North Carolinians took a pretty good hit, early indications are that the damage is not as bad as they thought it might have been. You never know. We'll see what happens as this massive storm heads up the East Coast. I believe I just heard the Weather Channel guy say that the last time a hurricane hit land in New York City was 1821. Wow.

Wouldn't it have been a bummer to be visitng the Big Apple this weekend? You might have had theater tickets, planned to ferry out to Ellis Island or planned to take in a Mets or Yankees game. Not this time, friends. And you might even be stuck there to boot as most flights in and out of the airports are grounded.

In trying to find humor in this situation, I keep track of the buzz words the reporters use. I swear, I don't know what these people would do if they couldn't use the folliwng words and phrases:

1. Impact as a verb. "Virginia Beach has really been impacted by this storm." "It is almost certain that Irene will impact Marlyland." "Tell me Jim, how have the beaches been impacted?"

2. Issues. "This storm will cause big issues for travelers." "Hurricane Irene is causing issues up and down the East Coast." "The water will likely cause flooding issues."

3. On the ground. "We'll go right to __________ who is on the ground in Battery Park in New York City." "There are volunteers on the ground to aid storm victims."

My only commentary is with regard to number three. On the ground? And where else might they be???

A word from my better half

2011-08-19T06:17:00.000-05:00

Frequent visitors here know how much I love to read. I list all the books I read on my Shelfari bookshelf to the right on my blog home page, and also have my all time top five list on my blog profile. It's just one of the joys of my life.

I share this passion with Wife. She is in two book clubs and earlier this year, both clubs read Laura Hillenbrand's book, Unbroken. Ms. Hillenbrand also authored the book Seabiscuit.

Wife told me I really, really needed to read Unbroken. I had greatly enjoyed Seabiscuit years ago and Wife assured me this one was every bit as good.

Wow, I was not disappointed. The story is one of courage, redemption and faith and I was awe struck from start to finish.

This week Wife had the privilege of meeting the subject of the book, Louis Zamperini. She sent an e-mail to her book club members describing her visit and was kind enough to share it with me. I told her I thought my blog friends would enjoy it and she said she was glad to share. Unfortunately, I was not able to join her.

I know some of you have read this book and I hope you enjoy Susan's personal account here. If you have not read it, you should defnitely put it on your "to read" list.

So here's a word from the boss:

Dear Friends,

I wanted to e-mail you all to tell you about a wonderful experience that I had today. I know we were all so moved by the story of Louis Zamperini in Unbroken. Louis is 94 now. He is traveling, doing a lot of speaking now. Unbroken was the summer reading book for MBA this summer and Louis came here and spoke this morning to their students.

The guy who travels with him around the country is a USC grad who was an Olympic swimmer, John Nabor. John is a college friend of our friend Marc Albright. John contacted Marc and said he was going to be in town and wanted to know if they could meet this afternoon and visit and meet Louis. Marc had just read the book based on Bob’s recommendation. Long story (sorry), Marc invited us to join him and Judy to meet Louis. So all that to say, I just returned from sitting at the airport for an hour visiting with this amazing man!

What a treat and an honor it was to meet him. There were four of us and we literally huddled around him to hear his stories. He was so gracious and answered questions in a strong voice and did not seem to tire of talking at 94! What a memory he has for details! He says he memorizes a lot, especially scripture. He gave us a lot more details of his conversion and walk with Christ that were not in the book. It just gave me chills.

Marc asked him about when he met Hitler – Wow! How many people are still alive that have met Hitler! I could go on and on about what we talked about but maybe I can tell you more when we meet again. The most important thing was how he spoke about his faith. He said that every time he escaped death he knew there was something bigger than him protecting him, but he didn’t understand it until he was converted and realized how God has used the story of his life to reach others. It was just amazing.

The whole experience just WOWs me! I met a man today who is an Olympic athlete, almost was the man to run the first 4-minute mile, met Hitler, survived bullets by inches in a plane in WWII, survived 45 days floating in a raft 1000 miles in the Pacific Ocean, was a prisoner of war, and on and on, but a man who was so humble and talked mostly about his walk with Christ! It was just a tremendous honor.

He talked a lot about Laura Hillenbrand and the seven years it took to write the book. He also said when they started she interviewed many, many people, including 17with whom he had served in the war and in the camps. The last one of those 17 died last month! Time is precious!

He is writing a book based on Romans 8:28 and how his life has been spared many, many times starting with a house fire when he was 18 months old from which his father rescued him. He told us that he lives by that scripture and told us stories of breaking his hip recently and how God used him in the hospital to witness to the doctors and nurses. I wish each of you could have been with me! Sorry for such a long, long e-mail but I just had to share this experience. I feel very blessed this afternoon.

Love, Susan

The one constant

2011-08-07T15:40:00.003-05:00

We take Younger Son to start his first year in college next weekend. I have been firmly entrenched in a state of denial the entire summer and now the time is almost here.

He has indulged Wife and me this weekend as we have hovered over him. Wife has taken him shopping and we have stacked up his stuff in the living room before we start packing it up.

Wife told me this yesterday she's afraid she hasn't been as "engaged" in this process as maybe she should have been and I quickly told her not to worry because (a) this is the third time we have done this and we know the routine and (b) he's a boy and the last person she took to college was a girl. Younger Son is not interested in how his bedspread goes with his roommate's, color schemes, etc. In fact, I have strongly suggested that Younger Son go to college as a minimalist, taking as few possible items for which he has to be responsible.

The good thing about taking the last one is we can poke around the basement and find a lot of the stuff he needs. And, as I said, we've done this a couple of times already and we pretty much know the routine.

The bad thing about taking the last one to college is just that -- he's the last one.
__________________________________________________________

Today is Wife's birthday. Older Son and DIL are out of town at a wedding this weekend, as is Daughter, but all will return later today and we will celebrate Wife's birthday tonight. I am to prepare the meal. That will be interesting.

This Thursday is our 27th wedding anniversary. This will come in the midst of getting ready to leave with Younger Son, who is planning a little send-off for himself this Thursday night at our house, with a command performance by Wife, i.e. she will be preparing food. She is only too happy to do this, of course, and we will be happy to spend our anniversary with Younger Son and his friends.

Wife and I went out for a quick dinner last night and called it our anniversary celebration. Somehow we got to talking about life events and how they change us. We got married. Wife thought it would be hard for us to conceive a child. She was pregnant with Older Son by our first anniversary and eight years into it, we had three.

My mother died. We moved to Tennessee. The job I moved here for was a bust. We couldn't sell our house in Little Rock and we lived in two different rent houses here. There were some dark days.

We blinked and we were sending one to college. I decided to take a severance package when my second employer here wanted me to move. Another job came along.

My dad died. Another one graduated and went to college. She's done and is back home now. The "baby" is about to fly out of the nest.

Older Son and DIL have announced to us that they will be moving to Dallas, Texas around the first of October. A wonderful job opportunity has come along for DIL. They are debt free, pet free and child free so the risk is minimal. It will be an adventure. Older Son is confident he can find a job when they get there.

To say we are sad to see them go is an understatement. But we are happy for them and 100 percent supportive. We will adjust.

Change. Transition. Passages. Do we see a theme here? Have I seen this theme for three years writing this blog?

Do life events change us? Do I even need to ask that?

Observations; Class Reunion

2011-07-31T11:19:00.006-05:00

For the most part, I have purposely refrained from political commentary on this blog for the past year or so and plan to do so going forward. Although I maintain an interest in politics and a fascination with the process, I just don't get as worked up over it I used to. I see that as a good thing.

With that said, the following statements are opinions based on observations and nothing more:

1. I'll be honest. I have found myself panicking a bit over this debt ceiling business. It's kind of like the bank bailout from a couple of years ago -- conceptually I don't like it and there's a part of me that wants to say don't raise it and let's just see what happens. But most of the less political and more objective experts (and believe me, they are hard to find) seem to believe that Congress needs to reach a compromise that raises the ceiling so that financial calamity is avoided. It's Sunday afternoon as I write this and it appears a deal is close. I hope that, if and when that happens and it's signed into law, cooler heads will prevail and some real work will get done on accomplishing financial reform. We'll see.

2. Assuming this deal happens, I believe that, unless the economy totally tanks over the next year, Barack Obama will be re-elected in 2012.

3. I so want to believe that, throughout this latest crisis, Harry Reid, Nancy Pelosi, John Boehner, Mitch McConnell, other key players and even President Obama have thought more of our nation's welfare than what's going to happen in the next election and what it means to them politically. I want to believe that but I don't.

4. Matt Lauer on the Today Show last week, after interviewing a Congressperson about all the finger pointing by both political parties, ended with a very pointed question, something along the lines of, "With all due respect, don't the American people deserve better?"

Amen to that, Matt.

**************************************************

Went to my 35th high school class reunion last weekend. We had a "pre-party " before the reunion event for a small group of friends. Saw dear lifelong and blogger friend Kelly there.

The big party itself was great fun. I had to depend on name tags a bit, but many I knew immediately. This is profound, but I would say I don't look as old as some, but younger than many.

I love to go "home" every so often. But I like coming back home even better.

Goodbye Space Shuttle

2011-07-21T19:15:00.003-05:00

I am somewhat saddened by the end of the space shuttle program.

I am old enough to remember the first manned orbit and, of course, the first moon landing. I well remember President Kennedy's challenge to put man on the moon by the end of the 1960s. He didn't live to see it, of course, but it happened.

Of course there were missteps and tragedies. There was the whole incident with Apollo 13 (which ended up being a great movie).

The day we brought Older Son home from the hospital after he was born in January 1986 was the day the Space Shuttle "Challenger" exploded and all its passengers were killed. In the videotape of us walking down the halls of the hospital, you can hear the news reports.

I always found it all very exciting and thought it would be way cool to go into space, even with my extra cautious personality. One of my favorite cartoons as a child was "The Jetsons" and I remember wondering if that's what life would be like when I grew to be an adult.

I also loved the old TV show "Lost in Space" even though I've never been much of a Sci-Fi fan. I wondered if it was conceivable that a family could travel into space together as the Robinsons did and wondered if we would ever have a robot as part of the family.

I had a short stint as a Star Trek fan, watching the reruns late at night when I was in law school, a great escape from studying. Never really got into the movies though.

So what happens now to the U.S. Space Program? In a tribute to the Space Shuttle I heard today, the speaker said no matter what happens now, "America will never stop exploring."

That's encouraging.

Favorite things

2011-07-10T18:22:00.006-05:00

Wife and I just returned from a much needed weekend away. We really need more than a weekend, but time and the budget don't permit much more right now.

We incorporated two of our favorite things -- seeing old friends and going to a Major League Baseball game.

We left the middle of Friday afternoon and drove to St. Louis, a less-than-five-hour drive from here. We met some of our best friends from Little Rock, a couple whose two children correspond closely in age to our older two but who declined to get on the bandwagon and have a third when we had Younger Son 18-plus years ago. To make up for their omission, we named Younger Son after my friend, the husband of this couple.

Even though we have not lived in the same town for nearly 14 years, we can get with these folks and it's like continuing a conversation that was only interrupted a few minutes ago. We have been with each other through some of life's biggest events, including our own weddings, births of our children and the weddings of each of our oldest children. They will be grandparents soon and you can bet that's a big topic of conversation now.

We got there Friday night later than they did and they had already eaten (he is a bit anal retentive and won't vary much from a schedule, something I love to remind him of), but we called them and they met us and sat with us at the restaurant where we were dining outdoors. It was a very pleasant evening and we sat and talked and laughed with them for quite a while.

Had a leisurely breakfast Saturday morning where more talking, laughing and remembering ensued. We drove out to a mall east of town and walked around and had a late lunch.

Got to Busch Stadium early for batting pracitce. The Cardinals were playing the Diamondbacks. Our seats were close together but two-and-two rather than four together, so the girls graciously took two of the seats so my buddy and I could enjoy the game together, something we do all too seldom. There is no bigger Cardinals fan than he and this was his first visit to the new Busch Staditum. I indulged him about the Cards, only lamenting the fact that Lance Berkman now wears a Cardinals uniform which I find unacceptable.

We each bought a round of hot dogs and beer for each other and thoroughly enjoyed the game and fellowship. My friends, there is just nothing like being in a big league stadium, especially with people you love.

The D-backs led most of the game but the recently returned Albert Pujols figured greatly in a Cardinals rally that tied the game at 6 in the 8th inning. The Cards pulled out the win in the bottom of the 9th. Great game.

Great weekend.

Just what I needed.

Slowing down a bit

2011-07-01T18:18:00.007-05:00

2011 is half over. How in the world could that have happened?

How could we have a spring break trip, graduations, a family reunion and a wedding behind us? I was there, and I remember them all, but oh my -- how, how, how did it all go so fast? !

*****************************************************

We have slowed down a bit and that is a good thing. We still grin when we think back on the wonderful wedding celebration. When people ask me about it, there are three words that seem to be used repeatedly: Joyous. Glorious. Blessed.

******************************************************

Daughter has some college friends coming for the July 4 weekend. She and Wife have been busy cooking today. Other than having a lot of food on hand, Wife and I plan to keep a low profile. We have another wedding tomorrow night, a "down" day planned for Sunday (hope to maybe see a movie), then we're meeting Older Son and DIL at the Y early Monday morning for the annual July 4 Firecracker 5K. We plan to meet up with friends late in the afternoon and will go watch fireworks at the local park.

Older Son came by this afternoon and it was the first time I had seen him since the wedding. I am just about finished with the table I am refinishing for them and he took a look at it and pronounced it "awesome." It's far from perfect, as I stated in a previous post, but it will serve them well.

He said he and DIL would like to take Wife and me to lunch on Monday if we're available, to thank us for everything we did for the wedding. I told him I thought we could make ourselves available for that.

*******************************************************

I mentioned a family reunion. When my dad died in 2006, he was the last of five siblings to pass away. A couple of months after he died I took it upon myself to contact all my cousins from his side (ten in all) and give them a little family history. The result was a family reunion we ended up having in Memphis (nine of the ten cousins, plus some spouses and sons/daughters) in June 2007. During part of the weekend we went over to East Arkansas where our parents had mostly grown up, visited a family cemetery and met up with some other more distant cousins.

It was a great time. Sadly, some of us had never even met. My dad's family, like all families, had its quirks which I won't go into, but getting together with my dad's siblings and their families was never much of a priority as I was growing up.

Anyway, we had a great time in 2007 and it served as a sort of catalyst for these cousins connecting with each other.

Late last summer, one of the cousins who lives in Savannah, GA decided it would be good to get us together again and invited us all to come there. He did an informal poll and arrived at the weekend of June 11, 2011. Now at the time I strongly suspected Older Son would be getting married this summer but he was not talking.

Long story short, not longer after my agreeing to the June 11 family reunion, Older Son announced his engagement and chose June 18, exactly one week later.

Wife quickly announced that she would not be attending the reunion with me. I vascillated back and forth and thought of backing out, but finally decided that I should be supportive of my cousin. Besides, there was really nothing going on that weekend that I would miss.

I flew to Savannah on Friday the 10th, and was back home at 10:30 Sunday morning. Only six of the cousins made it this time but we had a great time and my cousin in Savannah was extremely hospitable. He and his wife hosted an incredible dinner at their home Friday night (fresh shrimp and crab just out of the ocean). Saturday afternoon he took us out on his boat on the Intercoastal Waterway all the way to where the river meets the Atlantic Ocean. It was another great time to be with my extended family. I told Wife when I got home that she and I definitely needed to return as Savannah is an extremely interesting city and I got just a glimpse.

*******************************************

OK I know this is getting long but I have some other news to share.

In addition to writing this blog, I am now a columnist!

A very nice lady here got let go from her job at the big city newspaper about three years ago. In one of those "necessity is the mother of invention" type of things, she and a partner started an online newspaper, exclusively for the suburb where we live. The lady I mentioned is the editor and her partner handles marketing.

It took off like crazy and they now have a strong readership and a growing base of advertisers. They will soon celebrate two years in business. They are competing well with her former employer's suburban presence here and are slowly expanding. It's a great little "paper" and I think she's really hit on something.

Anyway, I have written a few guest pieces and a few months ago she contacted me and asked if I would like to write a weekly column. It took us a while to get together and decide what this would look like, but on the first Monday in June, "What I Know" made its debut in the Brentwood Home Page (http://www.brentwoodhomepage.com/). The name comes from a college professor who looked at me one time, put his fist on his heart and said, "Write from here! Write what you know!"

You can click on the above link and look to the left and you'll see my piece on Mondays and it usually stays on the "front" page three or four days. You can also click on a toolbar that runs across the page and my name, and see my previous columns.

I have a new column each Monday and the theme is much like this blog, kind of family-ish, touchy-feely, with an occasional opinion. I am having a ball and consider it a gift from God. A very long time ago I realized how much I love to write and how I love the written word. I am just wired that way. I majored in journalism in college and was an editor on my college newspaper. I chose another career path but have never lost the passion. To get to do this at this point in my life is, as I said, nothing short of a gift.

I realize I am joining my good blogger friend Debby who also writes a column. I'm in great company.

*******************************************************

A happy holiday weekend to all. I hope you get some rest if you need it and/or get to spend some time with family if you would like to do that.

A joyous weekend

2011-06-21T14:56:00.005-05:00

After eight-plus months of anticipating and planning, the blessed event has come and gone. This past Saturday night Older Son got married to my new daughter-in-law (no longer FDIL). It was, in a word, glorious.

Although they are now on their honeymoon in Mexico, memories of the special weekend linger.

Wife and I were thrilled with the Rehearsal Dinner. The venue (Nashville's Union Station Hotel) was lovely, the food delicious and the ambience just right. We had about 75 guests. Highlights included toasts to the bride and groom and a special slide show video that Daughter had made.

The wedding itself was a holy, joyous event in a church sanctuary that was absolutely breathtaking. The reception was celebratory and loads of fun. Older Son and his bride were beaming. There was dancing...and more dancing. We sent them off under masses of blue-and-orange Auburn shakers about 11:15 p.m.

We had a brunch at our house Sunday morning for our out of town guests, catered by dear friends.

Wife and I had hearts full to overflowing all weekend. We consider ourselves so incredibly blessed. I really am without words to adequately describe it so I will show you pictures instead.

Here are a few highlights:

Yours truly speaking at the rehearsal dinner

Bride and Groom at rehearsal dinner

Me with my beautiful wife. Did I marry up or what?

Daniel and Maggie

Parents of the groom with the groom

McKinney Men

About to see her groom for the first time!

Husband and Wife!

First dance!

Mom and Son (those dance lessons paid off!)

Maggie and Josh

Could I be more proud of these three?

A 'War Eagle' send-off!

The party is over!

It's almost here

2011-06-15T20:13:00.002-05:00

Well we are down to a little less than 72 hours until the wedding. Can't believe eight months have passed and the day is almost here.

The festivities begin tomorrow night. Older Son and FDIL have bought a block of tickets to the Nashville Sounds (our minor league baseball team) game for those who are in town. I was an early "yes" on this since Older Son is sponsoring the event! Should be a hoot.

He'll be playing golf with his groomsmen on Friday. I am not a golfer so I'll sit that one out. For the ladies Friday, there will be the bridesmaids' luncheon.

Wife and I are hosting the Rehearsal Dinner Friday night at Nashville's Union Station Hotel. Wife has worked very hard to make it a very special event and I am sure it will be.

I have invited Older Son's groomsmen to an early lunch on Saturday. Then the big event takes place at 6 p.m.

Sunday morning Wife and I are having a brunch at our house so we can, hopefully, visit a bit with friends and family who we will quite likely feel we have not given adequate attention. A good friend of Wife's is catering the event and, as Wife says, all we will have to do is unlock the door.

*********************************

Wife and I had our fifth dance lesson this afternoon and we feel adequately prepared to not embarrass ourselves. The lessons have really been fun but the dance studio folks are wearing us out. Every lesson is about half dancing and half sales pitch for future lessons. They mean well and I realize it's a business, but I didn't sign up for this to enlarge my social circles; Wife and I just wanted to learn a little "movement" if you will.

I feel bad about it but we scheduled another lesson for next week, which we fully intend to cancel. We have no intention of returning. But there was just no way to get out of there (without making a scene, which Wife and I both always try to avoid) unless we signed on for another lesson.

********************************************

There has been a fair amount of stress this week with all of the details that had to be attended to, but things have gone smoothly and Wife and I have balanced each other out. When she's been stressed, I've been calm, and vice-versa. This is a joyous time and we are thankful.

I should be posting a full report and, hopefully, photos in a few days.

Passing on a table, and memories

2011-06-05T13:34:00.005-05:00

There's an old, round wooden table with a light maple finish that's been in our backyard playhouse (read: storage facility) for several years now.

It is one of the only pieces of new, wood furniture I remember my parents ever purchasing and their purchasing it is one of my earliest memories. I'm guessing it was 1962, making the table just shy of 50 years old.

My mother loved old things and, rather than buying new furniture, she would pick up tables, chairs, lamps, etc. -- you name it -- at estate sales and antique shops. She would strip, sand and refinish pieces herself. I have a lot of those today.

I suspect her love of all things old was as much about her being frugal as it was her affinity for antiques, but she was inceredibly zealous about it.

To be honest, as I was growing up, I got tired of some of these pieces. The chairs were rickety and squeaky, and sometimes fell apart. I got tired of telling my friends -- and got tired of my parents telling my friends -- not to lean back in a chair, as guys inherently do, lest it would break. I have even had a recent reminder of that as I had to take a couple of their old dining room chairs, which are now in my dining room, to be repaired a few months ago.

Today, of course, with the benefit of age, I appreciate that furniture because of its history. I look at one of those old tables or chairs and I see past the flaws. I see my mother, stripping off the old stain, sanding it down and making it into something . . . . well, not new by any means, but fit to be used in a family's home.

Back to the round table. Around 1962, as I said, my parents bought this table. It's perfectly round, about three or four feet in diameter and it seats four, or five in a pinch.

This was our kitchen table in four different houses as I was growing up, its longest stint being in the house my folks built in late 1966 and where my dad was still living when he died five years ago. Countless meals were eaten at that table by my parents, my brother and me, and many family meetings took place there. Games were played. Pinewood Derby cars were constructed. Gallons of coffee were consumed by my mother and her neighbor friends at this table.

Over the years there were nicks and scratches and of course countless spills. It was the centerpiece of a not-very-large kitchen, so it absorbed grime from cooking. My mom always meant to put a new finish on it.

When I went to law school in 1980, my parents had become emtpy nesters. They disassembled the top, round piece of the table from its single pedestal and gave it to me, and put a smaller one in their kitchen. My dad and I packed the round table into a U-Haul and moved it into my new apartment. We placed it in front of a picture window. My mother found some used (of course) chairs to place around it.

Wife and I married in 1984. She moved in with me and brought an old dining room table into the marriage. We put that in front of the picture window and crammed the round table into a very small kitchen nook in our very small kitchen.

The table went with us to two more houses in Little Rock and to the three we have lived in here. High chairs were pushed up to it. Homework was done there and games were played. A few years ago we once again disassembled it and decided to store it.

Yesterday I took the top piece of the table from the playhouse. I set it up on a makeshift work bench I had set up in the garage. I washed it down and stripped off the old, nearly-50-year-old stain. I stripped away scratches and water marks from its years of use, which came off quite stubbornly.

I will now sand it down and apply a new finish. It will not, by any means, look new, but it will be a solid table, ready for many more years of use. Maybe I will find some old, rickety chairs to place around it.

I will present it to Older Son and his bride, and they will be the third generation to use it. They will sit there and eat their meals as newlyweds and, who knows, at some point they might be pushing a high chair up next to it, playing games on it and/or helping with homework on it. It will be disassembled from its pedestal when they move. It will withstand more nicks, scratches and spills. I think it will serve them well.

They might decide to eventually store it for a time, and they might eventually pass it on to another generation. I know it's just a table and a table is a thing but I hope that, eventually, they will appreciate its heritage and look past its flaws to someone who stripped and stained it, then refinished it just for them, with a big dose of love and good wishes.

Last one

2011-05-29T07:46:00.003-05:00

You will just have to allow me to be sappy today.

It is early Sunday morning. The "baby" -- Younger Son -- graduates from high school today. He's still upstairs asleep. The last few days has been a whirlwind of parties and celebrations for him and his friends.

The tradition in our little suburb is that parents throw grad parties for their sons/daughters. A lot of them combine with others. Younger Son spent yesterday and much of the day before going to one after the next. There are dinners, ice cream socials, brunches and pool parties. We made the decision when our first graduated that we would do ours a week before graduation, so we kind of unoficially kick things off.

This is the third, and last, time around for this little exercise for us. As Wife says, it's always a bittersweet occasion.

This year we are caught up in planning a wedding but we said from the beginning that we would not let that overshadow this milestone in Younger Son's life.

When Older Son graduated, my dad came. We had dinner the night before here at the house with him, Wife's parents, Wife's sister and all of us. I told Older Son at dinner that night how proud of him we were. I told him we would miss him when he went to college, but that all of us, including his grandmother who had died a few years before, would always be with him, and that we would take a picture of all of us the next day for him to take with him to remind him of that. He did not say much about it at the time, but every time I visited him during his college years, I noticed that the picture was somehwere in his room.

My dad died before the next graduation (Daughter's) but I had my aunt and uncle who live nearby come for dinner the night before and dear friends who live a few hours away joined us for graduation the next day. Daughter spoke at her commencement ceremony and it was beautiful.

Wife's parents were not able to make it over this weekend. They are both not feeling 100 percent and we encouraged them to conserve their energy so they can be here for the wedding. Younger Son was very gracious in understanding.

No other extended family will be with us, either, but the aforementioned friends will drive up for the ceremony. Tonight we'll go out to dinner with "just us" -- Wife, Older Son, FDIL, Daughter, Younger Son and me -- and we will celebrate this little boy who had the nerve to grow up on us, the one who God in his infinite wisdom knew that we needed to make us whole, the one Wife used to lovingly say would "keep us young or kill us."

And I don't now if he kept us young or not (the lack of hair on the top of my head would seem to say no to that) but we're still kicking.

For what he has added to our lives, though, I am without words. He is the caboose of this crazy train we call our family, the part that very much makes us complete.

Moving right along

2011-05-26T22:02:00.003-05:00

Needless to say, lots going around here.

Wife and I had our first dance lesson last week and we go back tomorrow for number two. The first one, not surprisingly, was pretty much a sales pitch. Our instructor went through some basic steps with us, told us this dance studio could be our "family" (I appreciate her enthusiasm but I have a family, thank you) and then sold us a package.

It was actually quite reasonable and we'll get three more private lessons in before the wedding, and we have the opportunity to go to some group activities. I think the lessons will serve their purpose -- to keep us from looking foolish at the wedding reception.

*************************************************

We had a big graduation party for Younger Son last Friday night. It was a lot of work but well worth it. We did this for our older two, so it was a given that we would do it this time around.

It took Wife several days of preparation to get ready. Daughter was a big help and I helped where I could, as well as Younger Son, of course.

Fortunately, it was a beautiful night, so we were able to have folks outside.

Early that day I went to get in the car to run an errand and saw a snake lying in the sun on the driveway. He was about three feet long and brownish in color with some little flecks of color on his back. I honestly could not tell if he was a "bad" (poisonous) snake or not, but with Wife and Daughter nearby, I knew he needed to go.

I went to get the shovel, which was under the deck. This probably took all of ten seconds but when I got back, the snake was gone. I looked all around and decided he had just moved on.

I told Wife about it and told her that, even though I thought he had probably slithered far away by now, it would probably be a good idea to keep the garage doors close.

Fast forward a few hours later. I was working at my desk in the playroom, which is over the garage. I was also on the phone. I heard an earth-shattering scream and I knew in a flash that Mr. Snake was back.

The scream came from Daughter who doesn't care for any type of moving creature other than dogs.

I got off the phone and ran down the stairs to the garage. Daughter was on the stairs shaking. Wife's friend Mary, who was helping us get ready for the party, was also down there. She had seen the snake go behind a long table leaning against the wall, which we would set up later for the party.

I armed myself with the shovel again while Mary pulled the table from the wall. I gave him about ten whacks. He appeared to be motionless but when I lifted the shovel, he began to move again.

I was at an odd angle. Mary propped the table against my leg, told me not to move and to hand her the shovel. She finished him off.

I'm sorry if this was a "good" snake but he had to go.

**********************************

Younger Son will graduate this Sunday and we'll have one more major event behind us. His baccalaureate service was last Sunday and it was lovely. Since it is religious in nature, it is optional, but most students participate.

The graduation candidates wear their gown without their caps and it always takes my breath away when they march in to the organ muscic.

These passages just keep happening.

Dancing? At my age?

2011-05-13T16:51:00.007-05:00

Another week has passed in a flash.

Wife and I rose early last Saturday morning, went to spin class at the Y, made a quick trip to the Farmers' Market (local strawberries were in! YEA!), came home and showered and were off to Memphis for Younger Son's rugby tournament.

The game started at 4:30 so we had time to stop in Jackson for a quick lunch. The drive over was actually somewhat relaxing because in the car we can only obsess about all the things we have to do, not actually do them, which makes sense in some warped kind of way. Just humor me.

The game had a sad outcome because even though our team scored more "tries" (like a touchdown in football) than the other one, they beat us on penalty kicks. Younger Son was quite disappointed.

We consoled him for a while, assured him he had done well and we were proud of him, then were off to head toward Auburn for Daughter's graduation.

We spent the night in Tupelo, MS Saturday night, then rolled into Auburn about 1 p.m. Sunday. We picked up Daughter and took her to lunch, then stood in line about two hours -- that's right, two hours -- to take her picture in front of the stately concrete and brick Auburn University sign in front of the campus. And yes it was worth it.

We had a celebration dinner with the family that night, excluding Younger Son who was unable to make it down, and Wife and I left Daughter and Older Son with some of their friends for late night celebrating. We made it back to the hotel about 9, took a nice leisurely walk around the grounds, then turned in fairly early.

I don't know how to describe Monday's commencement ceremonies other than to use one word: miserable. Outside, pushing 90 degrees, hardly a cloud in the sky, 3500-plus graduates. Did I mention it was miserable?

Bright spots were (1) seeing Daughter proudly march across the stage, at which point Wife and I gave each other a handshake and almost simultaneously said, "Two down, one to go," and (2) hearing Robert Gibbs, former White House Press Secretary, give the brief (nine minutes) commencement address. He was a good speaker.

The event began at 9:30. Daughter "walked" at 11:15. She had already sent us a text saying that she would be leaving immediately thereafter, as did roughly 95 percent of the graduates. We heard they finished up around 1 p.m. What word can I use other than MISERABLE?!

But Daughter is now a college graduate and we are immensely proud. Wife and Older Son hit the road shortly before 1 p.m. Daughter and I went to lunch, then went to work packing her up. We loaded up Older Son's pickup truck and the back of my Honda Pilot. I left about 5 p.m. and headed home and Daughter followed a couple of days later. She and her earthly belongings are now back here at the home she left just four years ago. She will now seek a teaching job and see what lies ahead.

Tomorrow morning we'll attend FDIL's hooding ceremony at Belmont University in Nashville, where she will receive her Master's Degree, and we might or might not attend the full blown graduation in the afternoon. Mercifully, it's all inside. It's cooler here than it was earlier in the week, but I appreciate that we won't have fight any kind of weather.

We are now turning our attention toward Younger Son and the graduation party we will have for him next Friday night, then his graduation on the 29th. And then of course there's the little matter of a wedding coming up in five weeks.

Not that this matters in any way, but I am approximately 14 pounds away from the weight I would like to be for the wedding (that would be 14 pounds over, by the way, just in case you were wondering). Unless I decide to shed a body part, I won't make it, but if I can drop a little more over the next few weeks I'll be happy. For about 15 years now I have had this matter of about 40 - 50 pounds that always want to come back after I get rid of them. Here's hoping their exit this time will be permanent.

That is not to say that these recent activities are about me. I just want to be healthy for them.

And in the mist of all of this, Wife has signed us up for dancing lessons. She is scared to death we will make fools of ourselves when we have to dance at the wedding.

Our first one is next Thursday night. When she called to tell me about it, Wife said, "the first lesson will be all about teaching you to lead and me to follow."

OK, folks. She walked right into that one.

What self-respecting husband would not have automatically made some sarcastic comment about having been married X amount of years (in my case, almost 27) and expecting a dance instructor to accomplish that?

Above all, we keep our senses of humor.

The pace is picking up

2011-05-06T14:00:00.000-05:00

We knew it would happen. We knew it back in October when Older Son and FDIL got engaged.

We knew life would get CRAZY come spring. We were right.

The invitations have been mailed. The wedding will happen June 18.

In the meantime, there are parties. The happy couple are receiving some lovely gifts. Wife is planning the rehearsal dinner and little gift bags for out-of-town guests.

We went to Little Rock last weekend -- Older Son, FDIL, FDIL's parents, Wife and me. Our old friends there, most of whom have known Older Son his entire life and many of whom were there the night he was born, threw a dinner party in his and FDIL's honor on Saturday night.

We saw people we had not seen in ages and it kind of reminded me of a class reunion. I stood up the entire night and I never ate or drank anything until Wife urged me to get one of the strawberry desserts that one of the hostesses had made especially for me. My throat was sore by the end of the night from talking so much.

Sitting around with a small group toward the end, Older Son expressed his appreciation for the wonderful event and for the many years of friendship. He commented that, even though we have been gone nearly 14 years, the strong relationships endure. FDIL, with her gracious never-meet-a stranger personality, expressed her thanks as well.

Wife's and my hearts were full. We were proud of Older Son and FDIL. And we had a great time.
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Back at home, we are preparing for Younger Son's high school graduation which will take place May 29. We'll throw a graduation party, as we did with the older two, on May 20. We're going with a Mexican theme and Wife is planning enchiladas, black beans, Spanish rice, and chips and salsa.

But there's plenty going on before that. We'll be going to Memphis Saturday where Younger Son will be playing in the state rugby tournament. If they win in the semi-finals Saturday, they'll play in the finals Sunday, but we'll have to miss that one. Daughter graduates from Auburn Monday morning and her celebration dinner, which has been on the calendar for months, is Sunday night. Memphis is about six hours from Auburn. So Younger Son will have to understand (and he does).

After graduation Monday, I'll send Wife and Older Son home and Daughter and I will go pack her up to move home. We're going to hit it hard Monday afternoon and evening, and hope to head home Tuesday morning. (Wish me luck on that one).

A week from Saturday is FDIL's graduation from grad school so we'll be attending that event also. I'm proud of all my graduates.

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A couple nights ago I got a little snippy with Wife (OK, OK, it happens to the best of us and I have apologized). I told her there were just too many things competing for our time, including what I have mentioned here, as well as a family reunion I'm supposed to attend in Savannah, GA the weekend before the wedding. I was also bemoaning the rugby and graduation conflict.

Wife listened to me rant, then very rationally discussed with me how we would make it all work, helping me see the beautiful forest among all the massive trees. I told her she is very wise.

Last night Wife told me, without getting snippy (she is a better person than I), that she is not overwhelmed -- yet -- but she feels like she is rushing from one thing to the next and is having trouble slowing down and relaxing and enjoying the moment. I reminded her how she helped me the other night and told her again that I have never seen her so organized and efficient.

So what do we do? We are breathing in and breathing out. We are taking the occasional cleansing breath. And we are trying to savor each moment.

For you see, these are good times and sweet times, even though they are busy times. We are blessed to be here and we are making some great memories. I want to look back with a smile, not with regret.

And I am confident that I will.

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Here are some shots from last week's party in Little Rock, and from a shower Wife's friends here hosted for FDIL a few weeks ago. I am not even going to try to label each one. The first is Wife and me with Older Son and FDIL, and FDIL's parents at the Little Rock party; then the next is Wife with her buddies in Little Rock; then FDIL and her dad. The rest are from the aforementioned shower.

:

Pretty sweet if you ask me . . .

2011-04-25T16:06:00.004-05:00

Daughter drove in Friday night for Easter weekend.

We had not seen her in more than two months, probably the longest we have ever gone. So Wife and I were anxious for her to get home.

Since our last visit she had a nasty fall which resulted in a sprained ankle. That was a couple of weeks ago and she has reported slow progress. She still has the crutches but is slowly getting rid of them. We made a big to-do over it, of course, as she made it up the back stairs to get in the house.

Wife and I had gotten her a salad from one of her favorite local eateries and sat down on either side of her as she ate. We remarked that this would be her last "visit" home. In two weeks she will graduate and move back in on a semi-permanent basis.

Like her older brother, she is not happy about this. Oh, she has a sense of accomplishment at having completed requirements for a college degree, but -- also like her brother -- she has had an extremely enjoyable four years in college. She has made some friends that she will immensely miss. She is sad about that coming to an end.

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Saturday morning I got up and went out to a "berm" we have in the front yard, a little garden area that surrounds a couple of trees. It has been the bane of my existence since we moved into this house ten years ago. I am sure that it was once beautifully landscaped and was a credit to this neighborhood. Now I just fight with it every year to keep the weeds out. The weeds inevitably win.

Anyway, after pulling a few thousand weeds, I went around to the garage to get something and Daughter poked her head through the door and told me she was awake. She explained that since she's been doing her student teaching and getting up so early every week day, it's hard for her to sleep in on weekends.

Rather than going back out to the weed pulling, I went inside to see if Daughter needed anything. She had gone back upstairs and was lying in bed elevating her ankle, as she had been instructed to do. Ralph the Dog jumped up on the bed with her and I sat down in the bright pink chair by her bed.

We talked for about an hour. Unlike her brothers who generally will tell me things on a need-to-know basis, Daughter has always been willing to tell me about her life in great detail. She has loved her student teaching and has great stories about her second-grade students. I hung on every word.

As we began to hear Younger Son stirring across the hall, I got up and told Daughter I would be going back outside. I went to do something and then, as I passed by Younger Son's room, there was Daughter lying beside him in bed. He, of course, was trying to act annoyed but within only a few seconds I could hear him laughing. And naturally I had to go in and join them.

Daughter is four years older than Younger Son and they have always had a special relationship. It was particularly poignant for me to see her lying next to him in bed because, until she was about twelve and he was eight, they slept together. Both sets of grandparents were horrified by this situation at the time. Wife's parents gave Younger Son some type of video contraption one Christmas so he could project images on the ceiling as he went to sleep, with the hope that it would help him separate from his sister at bedtime.

I could have told them what the result of that would be. Typically, Daughter helped Younger Son put together "Bedtime Story Theater" and she incorporated it into their night-time routine.

Wife and I just never got too worked up about the sleeping together thing. It started because Younger Son was afraid of the dark and Daughter, ever his protector, was willing to help him through it.

Also, due to an unforeseen series of events, for a couple of years we found ourselves living in a duplex in which Younger Son really didn't have his own room, but just an over-sized closet off of Daughter's room just big enough for a single bed. As I recall, he never once slept in there.

By the time we moved into our current place, though, they separated. I don't detect any psychological damage to either of them from the years they slept together and Wife and I both still think it was a sweet period of time.

And it was pretty sweet when I saw them lying next to each other Saturday morning, laughing and talking, preserving a special bond.

Makes a dad feel very warm inside (even if he can't control weeds).

Budget Woes

2011-04-22T07:15:00.000-05:00

It did not surprise me one bit to tune in to the 10 p.m. news a couple Friday nights ago and learn that our lawmakers had forged a last-minute deal to avoid a government shutdown. I believed all along that is what would happen.

The Dems were saying the Repubs were "holding government hostage" over social issues and were "sacrificing women's health." The Repubs were saying the Dems are still not getting serious about cutting government spending and they had to do what "the American people" had given them a mandate to do -- government shutdown be damned (I paraphrase, of course).

And folks, you can count on hearing those sound bytes again as we move toward the 2012 elections, which will come far too soon.

My opinion? Well, I think the Republicans should not have put the nation at risk of a shutdown over funding Planned Parenthood. Not that I believe that PP should receive government funding but it's not like this is anything new.

I also think, if we're ever going to get serious about getting this country out of its crippling debt, something's gotta give.

Wife and I were talking about it just recently. It was a timely conversation because earlier that day Wife had written the check for what we owe the government over and above what we had already paid in. The number was actually less than what we had thought it might be, so for that we were pleased, but then Wife shared with me the total we paid in 2010 and it's mind boggling.

And I shared with Wife how I had just read in the local paper about the shortfall our county government is facing. It just seems, I told her, that on every level -- municipal, county, state, and federal -- governments are spending more than their resources allow and different factions of those governments are fighting about what to cut, if they should cut and whether or not taxes should be raised.

I offer all of this as information with no editorial comment.

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Along the same lines, since the compromised budget (band-aid) was announced, President Obama did a victory lap at the Lincoln Memorial, then went on the road jabbing at the Republican plan every chance he has had.

And the Republicans have fired back, lamenting a president who refuses to lead.

And in the midst of it all, Donald Trump has gone on the news shows telling us what a great president HE would be. I will tell you this: if anything might ever make me vote for a Democrat, it would be Donald Trump running as a Republican.

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Here's my fantasy:

President Obama says, "You know, I've come up with a budget plan. The Republicans have also come up with one. We don't agree on everything but, by golly, I believe we both have the best interests of our citizens in mind and I think we can get together and make some tough decisions. I'm sure going to try."

And Speaker of the House John Boehner says: "The president has come up with a budget plan. I just got off the phone with him and told him there is much we disagree on, but we should try our best to get together and come up with something that addresses this deficit which will have devastating consequences if we don't get a handle on it."

Notice that in neither of these statements does anyone say anything derogatory about the other's political party.

Too good to be true?

Time of reflection

2011-04-08T22:22:00.002-05:00

For those Christians who observe the Liturgical calendar, we are now in the season of Lent, the 40-day period which precedes Easter. The spirit of Lent is one of reflection and self-sacrifice, and you might be familiar with the concept of “giving up something for Lent.” The 40 days are symbolic of the 40 days Jesus spent in the wilderness fasting and praying.

I grew up in the United Methodist Church and, as I remember, we took a middle-of-the- road approach to Lent. We did not go to church on Ash Wednesday and have ashes rubbed on our foreheads. I don’t remember being encouraged in Sunday School to think of something we could give up for Lent.

We did, however, observe the season. I remember several years where a Lenton Devotional Booklet was prepared with daily devotionals written by church members. The whole point, as I understood it, was to take those 40 days leading up to Easter, consider the sacrifice Jesus made when he fasted and prayed, and on the cross, and make that part of our spiritual journey. On Easter Sunday, of course, we celebrated the resurrection and the end of the 40 days.

Whether one ended up giving up something for Lent was a personal decision and I seem to remember a couple of years I did it. Maybe I gave up a certain food. When I craved that food, I was supposed to have thought of Christ and his sacrifice.

My best friend and two-year roommate from college grew up in a non-Liturgical church and as I remember he wasn’t very familiar with Lent at the time. I was able to educate him a bit. One of our other close friends, who was Catholic, always vowed to give up cussing for the season, but with little success. With that, my non-Liturgical friend was not impressed (his reasoning being that, maybe crass language would be a good thing to omit from one’s life on a permanent basis and not save it up until Lent was over).

Ironically, today the formerly non-Liturgical roommate is now part of the Methodist Church and he sends me, via e-mail, Lenten devotionals written by his pastor. He prefaced the first one, from a couple of years ago, with, “You remember Lent, don’t you?”

Indeed I do.

Even though I am now part of a non-denominational church that does not observe the Liturgical calendar (although we “borrow” from it on occasion), I well remember the sacredness of this season of the year and I try to do my own share of inward thinking during the time.

Near my office in Memphis, where I work part of each week, there is a beautiful old Episcopal church where, during Lent, weekday services are held at noon. I try to make it over there a few times and always leave refreshed and renewed, with something good to think about in the midst of a work day.

So, although I agree that my foul-mouthed buddy in college was somewhat missing the point when he tried to clean up his language during the Lenten season, I think the observation of Lent, whether one is “high church,” “low church,” or somewhere in between, is a rich and important tradition of Christianity.

My prayer for you, if you are reading this, is that you will find yourself closer to Him this season as you make your own journey toward the resurrection. I know some of you in the northern climes are extremely tired of snow and cold weather. All I can say is: Lent will soon be over and Easter is coming.

Good weather; great game

2011-04-03T16:51:00.004-05:00

We have finally had a full blown beautiful spring weekend here in Middle Tennesssee and it could not have come soon enough. Temps today (Sunday) have been in the 70s and yesterday got close. It's been a little on the windy side but we have had two beautiful days. As I write this, Wife and I are sitting on our back deck. I have just grilled about ten pieces of chicken for us to have this week and Wife is blissfully reading and drifting off from time to time as she does so. Our weeks are busy so to have a few hours on Sunday afternoon to just enjoy the nice weather is a real treat.

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This past Thursday was one of my favorite days of the year -- Opening Day of Major League Baseball. As visitors here know, I am a big sports fan, but if I had to give them all up but one, I'd probably choose baseball.

That would be largely for sentimental reasons.

When I was just a little guy, my older brother and I used to listen to St. Louis Cardinals games on the radio. Late at night, when we were supposed to have gone to bed, I would hear the sounds of Harry Caray (yes, he was in St. Louis before Chicago, and I am dating myself) from my brother's bedroom, narrating the plays of Bob Gibson and others, and announcing at the 7th inning stretch that it was time for (another) cold Busch.

My first visit to a Major League park was the Houston Astrodome and I saw them play the Milwaukee Braves (that's right, Milwaukee, before the move to Atlanta -- showing my age again). I became an Astros fan for life and if you know anything about baseball, you know that my causes for celebration have been few and far between. (As I write this, I know they are already 0-2 for the season, having blown a 4-0 7th- inning lead in Philly Friday afternoon and losing to them again yesterday. Haven't even checked today yet).

Most folks I grew up around in Arkansas, including my brother, were Cardinals fans and we visited Busch Stadium in St. Louis with our parents a year or so after we went to Houston. My brother caught a fly ball in batting practice and a foul ball later in the game. I asked him about those balls about a year or so ago and he says his wife gave them to his twin boys (now 33) one day when they were looking for a baseball to play with and he never saw them again. He's still a Cards fan today and I still loyally follow the Astros.

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Wife is one of the many Cardinals fans I know. She and I visited St. Louis and Busch Stadium a number of times when we lived in Little Rock. We are even closer now, just a little less then a five-hour drive from Nashville. We're even closer to Cincinnati and Atlanta so we always make at least one game per year at one of these three venues, if not more.

In 2007 I took Younger Son and some of his friends to Spring Training in Florida. We returned the next year with Wife. I believe there's an older blog post about this.

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Older Son became an Atlanta Braves fan when he was about six, watching the games on TBS. When he was eight, Wife arranged for him and me to fly to Atlanta and see them in person. I had a buddy with a law firm there who got us tickets right behind home plate. So incredibly fun.

It was at that time that Older Son declared us on a quest to visit every Major League park. Some 17 years later he is more than half-way there and I am not far behind. Wife, Daughter and Younger Son have done pretty well too. I have a feeling FDIL will now become part of the adventure and I could probably talk FDIL's parents into it with not much coercion. Of course a lot of the teams have built new parks in the past decade or so, so we have to add the new stadiums to our list. (We visited Yankee and Shea in New York City in 2008, the last year for each).

I have this vision of the day we visit the last one. There will probably be grandchildren along. It will be way cool.

It really is a grand game.

Vacation and hoops

2011-03-27T14:57:00.005-05:00

Our cruise was very nice. We were on the same ship that Wife and I traveled on when we did our 25th anniversary Mediterranean cruise in Oct. 2009 -- the Celebrity Century. I saw a couple of staff people, including our waitress from that trip, that I recognized. On that trip, I LOVED the ports in France and Italy and getting back on the boat at night was somewhat of a letdown.

On this brief cruise (two ports and two days at sea, and another half day if you count the day we boarded) I would have been fine to just stay on board. The parts of Jamaica and Grand Cayman that we saw were not impressive, other than the lush vegetation and beautiful water. We got "had" big-time in Jamaica and heard similar stories from fellow travellers. On the day in Grand Cayman, after being herded like cattle onto a bus and dumped on a "private beach" for three hours, we had a quick lunch (which was pretty good), then I left Wife to shop or whatever and got back on the ship.

Aboard the ship, I enjoyed relaxing in a lawn chair, eating wonderful food, working out in the gym to attempt to counteract the effects of the food, and reading. We had wonderfully warm -- but not too hot -- weather. Imagine my surprise when I arrived back in Nashville Thursday at noon dressed in shorts in a polo, only to learn of a strong cold front having come through. Highs have been only in the forties ever since. I read somewhere that "Winter refuses to be upstaged by spring" in much of the country and that's very accurate here.

Younger Son and friends could not have been better young folks with which to travel. There was never a moment's trouble and they had a ball. The boys definitely got their money's worth when it came to the food. Wife and I enjoyed getting to know the other couple who went and had dinner with them every night right next to the table with Younger Son and crew.

All in all it was a great vacation and just what I needed. Life will accelerate now but I am relaxed and ready.

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With the return of cold weather, it's been a great weekend to watch March Madness. As usual, my bracket has deterioated into a great abyss. Mercifully, I missed doing the one at work this year so was able to avoid (a) losing ten dollars and (b) being harassed by colleagues. I filled out the family bracket, of course, and have held my own until the last couple of days. With an 11-seed in the final four, what would one expect?!

Bon Voyage

2011-03-18T20:02:00.002-05:00

The time for our spring break trip with Younger Son and friends has arrived. Wife, who has always carefully managed risk and believes that, if possible, one should, if at all possible, arrive a day early for events such as ship boardings, left this morning with Younger Son and two of his friends (the parents of which she also convinced of her arrive-early theory).

Anway, the four of them are in Miami tonight. I will fly down tomorrow morning with one of the other guys who stayed behind to play baseball. The girls and a set of parents from the girls' group will arrive tomorrow as well. Wife would never wish it on us, but I blieve she would possess a mild degree of satisfaction if we got behind schedule and the boat left without us. I don't look for that to happen with the beautiful weather it looks like we have between here and there and a departure time of 5 p.m.

This will be a short cruise, I guess, as cruises go. As I said, we "ship out" late tomorrow afternoon and get off next Thursday morning. We'll have two days at sea and two port days visiting Jamaica and Grand Cayman.

I am long past any kind of desire to swim with dolphins/go snorkling/name your tropical activity. I'm also not much of a beach guy.

So why for the love of everything holy do I keep going to the beach? Well I'm just a sucker for my family and Wife, who could be a pretty good travel agent, planned this trip for them and told me we would be the chaperones for the boys. So here I go.

I'm looking forward to the time off work. I have three books to read. And I can sit in a beach chair looking at water in a content fashion. It will be a good time.

It will also be the calm before the storm. Three months from today is the wedding. Look back a couple posts and you can get an idea of what life is going to be like around here for the next three months.

A Caribbean cruise? Don't mind if I do.

Good memories, good times

2011-03-13T20:59:00.003-05:00

We attended the first party for Older Son and FDIL last night, a "tailgate party" given and attended by a number of both high school and college friends, as well as a few of us older folks.

It was, as we had expected, great fun, and kind of enforced the reality that this wedding is really going to happen. Since October we have talked about it a lot but when I saw their name in print on a party invitation, then attended said party, well, as I said, it just became more real.

It was great to see many of Older Son's old friends last night -- guys and girls who have been fixtures in our lives for a number of years now, including a few who used to eat quite a few meals at our house back in Older Son's high school days and many who, during the college years, spent nights here on weekend trips to Nashville and helped cement Wife's reputation as unequaled hostess and chef.

I look at them and think of them as much younger than they are (and I think of myself that way too!) but, when I hear about their jobs, professional schools, houses and/or marriages (or approaching marriages), I quickly realize they are moving on with life (just as I am).

The house where we attended the party is owned by Older Son's friend who, for the sake of this blog post, I'll call "TM." TM was one of the regulars around here during high school. He also went to Auburn with Older Son and they pledged the same fraternity. Older Son was in his wedding in Atlanta in December 2009 and he'll be standing up with Older Son in June.

TM and his wife were the consummate hosts last night. There were delicious appetizers served up in dishes with the Auburn or football theme, beer and other drinks iced down in tubs and coolers, a "tailgate punch" (that Older Son in advance had wisely suggested Wife and I avoid) and delicious barbecue -- truly a replication of the tailgate experience. All we needed was a football game!

TM made a brief but lovely speech before dinner, expressing what Older Son had meant to him over the years and wishing him and FDIL a long and happy marriage. Later in the evening he, Wife and I laughed and reminisced about days gone by -- the time we had a snow day their junior year in high school and he came home with Older Son and stayed three days; the way he would open our refrigerator and see what might be available; and how he might call us after school to see what Wife might be cooking for dinner that night. We also helped him make his campaign posters when he ran for (and was elected as) Student Body President.

He gave us a hard time for having already given Younger Son permission to attend a four-day open air music festival this summer, lamenting the fact that he and Older Son would have never been allowed to make such a journey at that age. I quickly reminded him of a spring break trip to Panama City Beach they took as seniors in OUR van (what were we thinking?!).

There were many similar conversations throughout the night with many we had gotten to know as teenagers, who now we know as adults. They are still as polite as ever, calling us Mr. or Mrs. McKinney, saying sir and ma'am, even though they are now becoming more like peers and would be welcome to call us by our first names.

Older Son has a rich heritage. I know he felt honored and blessed at the amazing turnout of friends to wish him well.

Wife and I certainly felt that for him and FDIL. We were also honored to be there and we feel blessed to count all these folks as our friends too.

Things are picking up

2011-03-03T13:56:00.007-06:00

We can feel the momentum gradually picking up around here. We have known, since Older Son's engagement in October, that we should enjoy these days where our schedules are not so full because, frankly, it just ain't gonna be that way much longer.

And we have enjoyed these past couple of months. It was cold as all get-out and Wife and Older Son were busy with all the W-2s, 1099s, etc. that January brings for them, but for the most part, it's been a pretty relaxing pace here at home, a pace that will soon be in the rearview mirror.

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Wife left for Little Rock yesterday afternoon. This weekend is our annual "B&B" trip with our old friends. I wrote about it last year and it's a scarcely 24-hour outing where there's lots of talking and eating. We've done it for 20-plus years.

Wife's mom has been needing to schedule some minor out-patient surgery and Wife's dad is in a boot from falling and breaking his foot a few weeks ago. Wife suggested that they try to schedule the surgery around this weekend, when she would be heading that direction anyway, and they accommodated that request.

I drove home from Memphis last night and, longing to see my Sweetie if only for a few minutes, I called Wife and asked where she was. As luck would have it, we were only a few miles apart and I told her where to exit and we would spend a few minutes together. Although I often scoff at them, I must admit cell phones have added a huge dimension of convenience to our lives.

Of course Younger Son rolled his eyes at the fact that I would come home to stay with him and then head back that direction in a few days, but I'll get to go to his rugby game tonight and frankly, will enjoy a couple of somewhat peaceful days at home.

I'm going to head west Saturday morning and meet the crew somewhere in Northeast Arkansas. Wife will drive my car back home Sunday and I'll ride back to Little Rock with my friends, check on the in-laws and stay with them Sunday night, then head to Memphis Monday morning to work for a couple of days there. I know, lots of driving and every time something happens in the Mid-east the price of gas goes up, but gotta do what you gotta do.

Wife called shortly after 10 this morning. They were already home from the hospital, her mother was resting comfortably and her dad was getting around OK. Wife will enjoy being with them and I know they'll enjoy having her.

Wife graciously told me if I decided not to come this weekend, she would be fine with that, and would understand perfectly. I told her thanks, that I would take it into consideration, but right now I'm sticking with my plan.

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Next weekend is the first party for Older Son and FDIL, an "Auburn Tailgate Party" given by some of their college friends. The following weekend we leave for our spring break trip with Younger Son and friends. Sometime in April we're going back to Little Rock for a party being given there for Older Son and FDIL.

There will be showers and other nuptial events that, mercifully, men do not attend.

We'll have three graduations in May -- Daughter from college on the 9th, FDIL from grad school on the 15th and Younger Son from high school on the 29th (according to Wife's calendar). Somewhere in there we'll throw a big open-house type graduation party for Younger Son, as we did with the other two. I think we're going to try and go to college orienation with Younger Son the week after his graduation.

And somwhere in there we must get Daughter moved home.

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June 18 will be THE big day, of course. I would like to think Wife and I could get away for a few days after that but I will be running very short on two important components of a vacation: money and vacation days. But that's OK. The therapy of my routine life will be just what I need when things start to slow down.

For now, I had best fasten my seat belt, sit back and enjoy the ride.

Past, Present, Future

2011-02-21T20:35:00.003-06:00

One of the advantages of working for a bank is getting to take holidays such as Presidents' Day. A three-day weekend was just what I needed.

It was especially nice because we didn't have a crowded calendar. Wife and I went and watched part of Younger Son's rugby scrimmage Saturday afternoon, then that night went to a little Mexican restaurant we enjoy from time to time.

Sitting across from us at another booth was a family with three young boys, probably ranging in age from 5 - 10. When we first saw them I kind of internally rolled my eyes, assuming they would be loud and rambunctious, interrupting our quiet conversation.

They were plenty rambunctious, as little boys are and should be, but they were also just as cute as they could be and very well behaved. Wife and I couldn't help but look over at them. I asked her if she remembered when we used to go places with our three when they were so very young.

Funny thing is, we do remember, but it seems like such a long time ago. And in many ways it seems like just yesterday. In reality it wasn't that long ago that we couldn't just leave the house and/or go out to eat at our leisure.

The cool thing about this family was that the parents were engaged with the boys, having real conversation and laughing. They weren't texting or talking on phones, which is more and more the norm in public places for adults and teens alike. That was nice to see.

After Mexican food we went to a little neighborhood frozen yogurt place. Sitting across from us there were four young couples who could not have been much older than Older Son and FDIL. Oh, the vibrancy of youth. Their fresh faces, absent from worry lines, made us again reminisce of days gone by. We were parents scarcely 18 months after we married, so it's definitely hard to remember those days.

Sunday afternoon we went to Sonic, one of our almost daily rituals. Just love that Sonic ice. Pulling out of the stall next to us, in a convertible, were a couple who were in their 70s if they were a day, laughing as the wind blew through the white hair of each of them.

"There we are," said Wife, "in just a few years."

To which I replied, "But will you let me drive the convertible?"

Revolving Door

2011-02-13T08:40:00.006-06:00

Twenty-seven years ago today, I asked Wife to marry me. That was quite romantic of me, wasn't it, to propose on Valentine's Day?

I have had varying degrees of success at the romance thing since that time. It means different things to different people and quite often means something different to a man than a woman. Nothing profound there, of course, and there have been whole books written about it. You know, the whole Mars and Venus thing.

I have never had formal counseling or therapy (no wise cracks, please) but the minister who performed our wedding required that we meet with him four or five times before our big day. He had us fill out some type of personality analysis and said that, on paper, we were really not very compatible. He was quick to tell us, though, to our relief, that "on paper" didn't mean that much to him, it just gave him a frame of reference.

As time went on, he gave his wholehearted endorsement to our union. He had some good insights too, anticipating some of the things that might trip us up along the way. I remember he had us write down some of our "expectations" and I can't tell you today what one of them was. I do remember that some of the things I was concerned about before we got married ended up being matters of no concern.

For instance, I just knew, since I had lived alone, that having someone there with me all the time would get on my nerves. I warned my intended that I would need my personal space. Two weeks after we were married, she went over to her parents' house to do laundry (we had no washer and drier at the time) and after she was gone for about and hour and a half, I went over there. I was way over the needing my space thing and have been ever since.

I do know that when we said, "I do," we said it was for keeps. Wife has jokingly said she might consider murdering me, but never leaving me. (Remember, that's a JOKE). FDIL told us the night she and Older Son got engaged that the longevity of our marriage, and that of her parents, gives her a strong heritage and foundation on which she and Older Son begin their life together. I consider that a very high compliment and I know her folks do too.

All these years later Wife and I find ourselves on the home stretch, I guess, of raising a family. Older Son's getting married in June. Daughter graduates from college in May. Younger Son graduates from high school in May and is off to college in August, probably passing Daughter coming in the door as he goes out.

Ralph the Dog, now at least 13 years old, is no doubt beginning to wonder if there will ever come a time when he can just find his little spot in the sun and lie there peacefully, without having to preside over the ever revolving door.

Yes, Wife pronounced us in the "Revolving Door years" some time ago, accurately labeling this period of life in which we now find ourselves. They come in, they go out. And even when they go out, many of their "things" remain. Just this weekend Daughter brought home a bin full of winter clothes and put them in her little area of the basement, that area that she promises to go through and condense just as soon as she gets home again. Just for grins, I'm going to suggest a specific date and time for her, just to help her along.

I have pronounced more than once that, for every item that goes in the basement, two items must come out. I have quit saying that so I'll be less discouraged at the futility of those words.

I talk a big game. In reality, of course, they and their stuff are always welcome. I will be appreciative of any efforts at efficiency but I'm not going to get too worked up over it all. We can all just keep revolving together.

And I'm really thankful today that on that Valentine's Day 27 years ago, Wife agreed to revolve with me.

Misc.

2011-02-10T18:59:00.004-06:00

We've had another big round of snow here but, according to meteorologists far and wide, we are about to have the proverbial light at the end of the tunnel.

Tomorrow it's supposed to get above freezing, then into the 40s and 50s this weekend. Sunny next week and we'll hit 60. I will welcome it.

*******************************************************

Daughter is coming home tomorrow night. She has faithfully worn her retainer for about six years, ever since she got her braces off. Bless her heart, she is just very conscientious about it. When she left her orthodontist's office for that final time and he said, "Wear your retainer," well, she took him seriously. She's always been a rule follower.

A couple of weeks ago, however, it apparently came out of her mouth in her sleep. She stepped out of bed and stepped on it the next morning, and broke it. She called Wife, quite upset, and Wife called the orthodontist who said she's probably OK, that she should just come in and get impressions for a new one next time she's home.

Well, she just feels her teeth beginning to space apart, so she managed to get a day off her student teaching Monday so she can get the new retainer. It will be good to have her here for a few days.

*************************************************
Speaking of Daughter, she is writing a blog now, mostly about her teaching experiences. I'm prejudiced, of course, but "Delighfully Living," listed over on my blog list, is delightful. I highly recommend it: http://mckinme.blogspot.com/

Pistol Packin'

2011-02-03T21:12:00.005-06:00

Debby recently wrote about an experience at work that disturbed her a little.

Seems a regular customer, by all accounts a nice guy, walked into the store to get some hardware. Nothing unusual about that. Only this time Debby eyed a handgun sticking out of his pocket.

She had no reason to believe this customer was up to anything out of the ordinary but it gave her a little bit of a jolt and she kept her eye on him, and on that gun.

I am not a hunter. I can count on one hand the times I have shot a gun in my life. It’s just not my thing. But I have countless friends and family members who love to hunt, and a few who don’t hunt but just love guns and go to these ranges where they shoot for sport. Sometimes they go to gun shows.

As I have told them when I have received an invitation to accompany any of them, they have my blessing. I fully believe in their right to “bear arms” as the Second Amendment says; it’s just not a hobby I’m interested in.

As I told Debby when I commented on her blog, I consider myself “pro-gun” but I am also “pro-common sense.” Is there really any reason to carry a handgun into Tractor Supply unless you’re a law enforcement officer? The fact of the matter is that exposed weapons scare people.

And maybe I’m missing something, but I just don’t see any reason this guy needed to be toting his gun into Tractor Supply and making good folks like Debby uncomfortable. I just don’t see the point.

********************************************************

Debby’s story reminded me of something that happened to me a number of years ago when I was working at a law firm in Little Rock.

There was a young lady who worked for us doing title and lien searches, if I remember correctly. Her name was Emily and she was a tiny little thing, maybe a hair over five feet tall.

I was working in my office one morning when my phone rang.

“Mr. McKinney,” the male voice on the other end said in a serious tone, “this is the U.S. Marshall’s Office.”

The guy then proceeded to tell me that he had Emily there in their holding unit. She had set off the alarm when going through Security in the Federal Courthouse. Upon inspection, a handgun had been found in her purse. That’s right, this little wisp of a girl was packing iron. After being taken into custody, she told them to call me.

Now you must understand that the call to me was almost laughable. The only experience I had ever had with Criminal Law at that time was (a) the course I had taken my first year of law school and (b) entering a plea for a client of one of my colleagues, something that took about a minute. I knew nothing of how to get someone out of jail or anything like that.

As I recall, I asked the guy in the Marshall’s office what I should do and he rather sarcastically said he didn’t know, but Emily wasn’t going anywhere until somebody showed up to, I guess, get her sprung -- however that was supposed to have happened.

I asked him if I might be able to talk to her. He put her on the line. She said “hello” as if I had just called her at home.

“Uh . . . Emily,” I said, “the guy tells me you had a gun in your purse – like a loaded handgun,” just knowing there was some mistake.

“That’s right,” Emily said in a very matter-of-fact fashion.

I know I was taking a risk asking the next question, but I proceeded with a really stupid one. (To say I was winging it would be 100 percent accurate.)

“OK Emily, can you tell me why you would be taking a handgun to the courthouse?”

“Oh yeah. Well, I’m going out of town later today.”

“Not sure you understood me there, Emily. What I asked was, why did you take a handgun to the courthouse?”

Emily repeated that she was going out of town later that day. She had forgotten she had to go by the courthouse first when she stuck said handgun in her purse.

At this point I was just wishing the gun were readily available so I could put myself out of my misery but I just told Emily to hold tight and I would see what I could do. She put the officer back on the phone, who again told me that Emily would be sitting right there and would be booked if somebody didn’t soon appear on her behalf.

What he did not tell me was what in the world I was supposed to do once I got there. I didn’t much think my showing up and saying, “Emily didn’t really mean anything by it, have a nice day,” would go very far.

I hung up the phone and went looking for my colleague, Jack, the only guy in our small firm who practiced criminal law, the one for whom I had gone to court a couple of years earlier.

His secretary told me he was in a hearing and, as it turned out, he was in the same courthouse where Emily was being held. Somehow I found him, told him what was going on and, when he was done with whatever he was doing, he and I went to the Marshall’s office.

And there sat petite little Emily with her legs crossed, reading a magazine as if she might have been sitting in a doctor’s waiting room. She smiled and waved at me, seeming not the least bit unnerved by recent events (unlike me).

From there Jack did the talking and my memory completely fails me from there. But I know he got her out and I guess she got her gun back.

I did ask Emily again what the point of having that gun might have been and she, beginning to lose patience, told me a third time that she was going out of town later that day.

To this day I still chuckle, picturing little five-foot Emily with that gun, just ready to take out anybody that might mess with her on the roads of Arkansas.

It definitely takes all kinds.

A Nice Break

2011-01-30T16:50:00.004-06:00

I believe it has been confirmed why I don't live in a colder climate: I would not do well having to endure a longer, colder winter than what we have experienced here in Middle Tennessee this year.

We have been whining since before Christmas, having now had four "snow events" which is what we call it when snow covers the ground. I know you in the more northern regions are scoffing at me, but you just don't understand -- we're not used to this.

But I am pleased to report that God has heard our prayers and gave us a gloriously sunny day yesterday, with temps climbing into the 60s.

Even better, Wife and I found ourselves with very little on the calendar. We know that's about to change big-time, so we took advantage of it.

I had an early morning board meeting for the non-profit I work with, and Wife met FDIL, her mother and the florist for the wedding to discuss flowers for the wedding, reception and rehearsal dinner.

After my meeting I took a long walk and just thanked God for the beauty of the day. We are blessed in the community where we live to have wonderful walking trails that meander through wooded areas and along a flowing stream. It is soothing, much as the Psalmist described in Psalm 23. It definitely renewed my soul.

Wife and I met back up at home about noon. After checking in with Younger Son, whom we had not seen since Friday night (and whom we would not see again until last night; can you tell he's our last child at home?), we headed out. There is a wonderful, quaint downtown area in the town just south of us. We went to one of its best lunch spots which serves delicious soups, sandwiches and salads in an eclectic venue filled with random tables and chairs that could have (and likely did) come from flea markets.

After lunch we wandered along the streets, stopping in the occasional shop. Wife took me to the place where Older Son and FDIL have picked their china and showed me their names on a shelf next to a dinner plate. I am not much of a shopper and it was only because of the lovely weather that I accompanied Wife, and she seemed to enjoy having me along.

We then went to the hotel where FDIL's parents have negotiated a group rate for out-of-town wedding attenders, and timed the drive from there to the church, so we could pass on that information to friends and family. That landed us up in Nashville, in an area where we rarely find ourselves. We enjoyed the change of scenery and commented on how we should explore the area more often.

Back at home, with night falling, we were pleased to see Younger Son eventually come in and join us and we sat with him while he had something to eat. I guess we asked him too many questions because he gave us one of those "why are you being weird" looks. He's just going to have to learn to humor us during these last few months before he goes to college. Although being the youngest has had its benefits for him (our totally relaxed attitudes), he has commented on feeling a bit smothered at times. Frankly, I believe the benefits outweigh the disadvantages, so I'm not very sympathetic. I will probably have much more wisdom to impart before he exits and my time is limited.

All in all, it was a great Saturday, one on which we will probably look back with a sigh in the weeks ahead as graduations, a wedding, moves in and out and transitions begin to take center stage. I'm thankful for the unexpected pleasures of an unplanned day, and definitely thankful for the break in the cold.

Quarter Century Birthday

2011-01-23T16:32:00.005-06:00

Christmas Eve, 1985: Like the "blessed Mother," Wife was "great with child" (pregant with our first).

We were meeting her parents for Christmas Eve church, then would go over to their house for dinner and gift-opening. My parents would make the two-hour drive from their house to ours the next day since Wife, so close to her delivery date, was advised not to travel at Christmas that year.

A couple of hours before we were to leave, she told me she was feeling a little "funny." We had been to birthing classes and supposedly knew what to expect. The feelings and rollings in her tummy continued. We decided there was a good chance this was "it." So we went to church with Wife's suitcase packed. We thought we were going to have a Christmas baby. I was going to get that tax deduction after all.

That's funny to think of now. Whatever it was, that funny feeling subsided and Older son was born exactly one month later, January 24, 1986 -- 25 years ago tomorrow.

On that day I had gone to the funeral of a friend's dad. I knew Wife had a doctor's appointment but, with her being nearly three weeks late (his due date had been January 6), she was going to the doc about every other day to make sure everything was OK. I had kind of gotten over being impatient and I think somewhere in my subconscious I was in denial about the whole thing. In fact, I had picked up a six-pack of beer earlier in the day for my buddy and me, to go with the homemade pizza Wife would make that night. Life would just continue as usual.

I think Wife had gone into a lull herself. That afternoon while she was at the doctor's office and I was at the funeral, her OB told her it was time to take the baby. Like now. Like she should go directly to the hospital and he would meet her there.

I wasn't there, so I don't know exactly what the doctor's reaction was when Wife said she had to go home and pack, but I cannot believe that, with her being three weeks late, it was not something along the lines of, "Go home and pack? You don't have your suitcase with you?!"

I digress.

This was before cell phones (not that I would have had it on at the funeral), so she reached me when I was back at my office about 3 p.m She had managed to talk her doctor into letting her go home. I went and retrieved her and by 6 p.m. Older Son had entered the world via Caesarean section, one ounce under nine pounds. I watched every bit of it (as I did when his younger brother and sister came along) and it was AMAZING.

Fast forward 25 years and we're celebrating his birthday tonight. He's out of college and he's getting married in June. And he is, without qualification, one of my very best friends. He was in no hurry to get here all those years ago, but oh how he brightened my life once he did.

Happy Birthday, Daniel.

More Snow

2011-01-21T07:41:00.003-06:00

We have had more than our share of winter weather here in Middle Tennessee and had our fourth significant snowfall of the season last night. That's plenty of snow for these parts and, although it's beautiful and I love it, I'm beginning to tire of the hassle of driving and just how darn cold it is.

Early Wednesday morning I drove over to Memphis to work for a couple of days. I had heard snow was in the forecast for Thursday. Wife told me I should be paying close attention.

So yesterday (Thursday) afternoon about 3, with snow falling steadily but the temperature hovering just above freezing, I decided I could make it home. What's usually just over a three-hour drive took almost six. I drove 40-50 MPH most of the way.

Wife asked me if I was ever scared and I said no, that I was a little anxious at times, especially when the snow was blowing onto the windshield so fast that I was having trouble seeing, or when an 18-wheeler passed me and blew all the snow and wet stuff all over me. And a couple of times I slid a couple of feet when I hit the brakes. But generally, as long as I kept plenty of distance between me and the vehicle in front of me and went slower then usual, everything was OK.

Then Wife asked me if it had really been a good idea for me to make that drive. I said probably not, but this morning I am glad to be home. She said maybe I should check with her next time before I make such a decision. She's probably right.

If I'm Boss . . . .

2011-01-14T16:56:00.008-06:00

Michael wrote not long ago that he's at a place where he's reconsidering some things about his career and, in conducting such reconsideration, he said he will be "throw(ing) everything into the air -- all my assumptions, worldviews, textual interpretations -- and then start(ing) over and see(ing) what I end up with."

He hasn't shared any of his findings with us yet, but what he said started me thinking.

I have been in the work force full time about 28 years now. I have been blessed to have never been truly unemployed. I had about two months off between my last and current job but had more than enough severance to cover things, so I don't count that.

The longest I have ever stayed at a job is seven years and I have stayed in two that long. Apparently that's not terribly uncommon in today's business world. I know people who have had many more jobs than I have, and a few who have worked in the same place their whole career (not many).

I have done a lot of second guessing over the course of my working life but I think that's my nature. Being sure of myself has never been one of my strong areas. There are a lot of things I would do differently if I could go back and change things but I don't dwell on that. God has been faithful and has taken care of me and my family. I can't ask for more than that.

I am not entrepreneurial. I am a good worker. I'm not a genius but I have a fair amount of intelligence and after all these years, I think I know the things I do well. I work well with people and I follow instructions well. I'm a good team guy and I can effectively communicate. But I'm not a big "idea" guy when it comes to business and running a business.

After all these years working, however, I do have some ideas about how I would run a company if I ever did have that opportunity. In a totally different universe where I was in charge and "ran the show," so to speak, here are some things I would do. Now let me say, quite clearly, that this is all in theory and in my mythical world, there would be no problem with the legalities and practicalities of the principles I would propose. Here goes:

1. In my fictitious company, the dress code would be business casual. A lot of places already do this, but many male employees, including myself, still wear ties to work. In my company, men would not have to wear ties. They would not be allowed to wear jeans, but they wouldn't have to wear ties. I don't have to wear a tie every day because I am fortunate enough to get to work from home many days, but on my office days I'm usually wearing a tie and I am tired of it.

2. There would be one staff (or departmental, depending on the size of my company) meeting per week, probably on Monday mornings. It would last 30 minutes to an hour, and it would be an open forum to cover current matters at hand. Anyone would be allowed to speak and bring up any topic. There would be no hand-held devices, cell phones or computers in the meeting (or in any meetings for that matter).

3. The Human Resources Department would be skeletal. I would prefer to not even have this department but in today's environment it is pretty much necessary. My HR Director (and any HR employees) would be respectul of all employees and there would be a zero tolerance policy if he/she ever broke that rule. The HR Director would report to and be accountable to the CEO. The HR Director would have no decision-making authority when it came to terminations, relocations, advancements, etc. (You might detect that I could write another entire post on HR Directors and departments). Neither would the HR Director be present during discussion of those matters.

4. There would be no "Diversity" department. HR would be under strict orders to comply with all laws regarding equal opportunity. It would go without saying. It would be unnecessary to employ people who devote themselves to meeting quotas.

5. There would be no money spent on "retreats," "team building," "coaching" or any other such thing. At the weekly meeting, the CEO or department leader would give a brief status report on various matters affecting the company and would take questions. Employees would be assured of their value to the company by their compensation. If the CEO or the lead of the department feels the need for extended time with employees, he/she will block off extended time during the day for this.

6. Performance reviews would be conducted annually. The words used in the reviews would be spoken and/or written in plain English and words such as "quantifiable" would be avoided. Likewise, goals set for employees would also be simple, so simple that very little instruction would be required, nor would a consultant be necessary to advise the company on how to conduct employee reviews. The person handling the review would record his/her findings, again, in plain English. Any type of "grading" would be on a 100 percent scale, similar to school grading.

7. Employees would use e-mail, of course, but there would be a limitation on e-mails sent per day.

Just a few thoughts and certainly easy for me to say when we're talking hypothetically. But interesting to think about.

Born to teach

2011-01-14T14:19:00.005-06:00

I have always envied people who feel like their job/career is a fulfillment of what they were created to do.

Daughter began her last semester of college this week and today begins her internship, or student teaching, the last step in her becoming a full fledged teacher.

And I believe she was born to do it.

She started playing school at a very young age. When her little brother was old enough to sit up, he became her student. My parents had given us an old antique desk and she would have him sit there to do his "lessons." He was required to say the Pledge of Allegiance and say "Good morning" to her at the start of the school day. He was not always the most obedient student but he was all she had and she was eventually able to coerce him into tolerable cooperation (after a few parent-teacher conferences, of course).

She also loved going to school -- every aspect of it. When we moved from Little Rock to Nashville she was in third grade. In Little Rock she and Older Son had attended a small, private Christian school that at the time was located in a church.

With the move to Tennessee, we decided to go the public school route and save all that tuition money for college. Daughter immediately took to it. She loved riding the school bus, the long hallways and bells ringing. She was also fascinated with the big cafeteria and was delighted with the cafeteria ladies and their hair nets.

The structure of school was always a perfect fit for her. For a very brief interim period before we moved, when school had already started, Wife home-schooled Older Son and Daughter rather than have them start the school year and pull them out. Older Son, who has many of the personality traits of his mom, could not imagine a better life with the concentrated daily time frame under which Wife conducted home school. He had learned to play golf and was usually on the course before noon during that brief period.

Daughter, on the other hand, experienced one of the most stressful times of her life when she would get up, eat breakfast, put a bow in her hair and seat herself at the kitchen table promptly at 8 a.m., ready for class, only to find her "teacher" (her mother) and brothers still sleeping. She was convinced that irreparable damage was being done to her educational progress.

With no principal on the campus, she would report her concerns to me and I would try to mediate between her and her teacher/mom. (As it turned out, she was more than well prepared when she began her third grade class at her new school).

Going to get school supplies for the upcoming school year was always one of her best days. Her favorite of all was the "pencil pouch" and a new one was, of course, required each year. Even last week before she went back, I could hear the lilt in her voice as she told me she was going to buy a lunch box to take with her to her new class.

She has given us detailed accounts of her "hands-on" education classes over the last couple of years, and her passion is undeniable.

She has already sent me a text message today, saying she has told her second grade students about our dog, Ralph, and that she loves her teacher.

That's exactly what I would expect. I am picturing her in that classroom today, in front of those little boys and girls -- herself not so far removed from that little girl who so conscientiously taught her brother -- and I am immensely proud of and happy for her. I believe many children will benefit from this little girl who was born to teach.

War Eagle!

2011-01-11T00:11:00.007-06:00

The Auburn Tigers won the national championship tonight!

As regular visitors here know, Older Son and FDIL are Auburn grads, Daughter is a senior there now, and Younger Son will matriculate there next fall. Neither Wife nor I attended Auburn but, I assure you, I have PURCHASED my allegiance to Auburn!

Older Son, the savvy young man that he is, managed to purchase tickets to the game, as well as plane tickets, for much less than most. He could have sold the game tickets and come close to paying for his honeymoon. He didn't.

Daughter got a ticket through the lottery at school and, lucky young woman that she is, received a gracious invitation to accompany a friend's family who has a private plane.

As I write this, the two of them are celebrating in Glendale, Arizona. Wife, Younger Son and I watched from the comfort of home.

Through the speed of modern technology, I can already show you photos. War Eagle!

Daughter all decked out

Older Son and FDIL celebrating

2010 Reading

2011-01-07T16:38:00.006-06:00

I'm a little late with it, but wanted to mention a few of my favorite books of last year. One of the most enjoyable parts of my reading in 2010 was re-discovering the poet, essayist and novelist Wendell Berry. I read his book Jayber Crow several years ago, which I loved, but never read anything else.

Berry's fiction is mostly centered around the fictitious farming community of Port William, Kentucky. Berry is himself a longtime farmer who still resides in Kentucky. As the stories progress, Berry's unspoken commentary on the unfortunate plight of the American farmer is clear.

His stories are interwoven with the same characters but, unlike most "series" books, you can really start anywhere. A World Lost is a compilation of a number of short stories, but which are in chronological order and flow together so as to give an overview of the characters of Port William. It would be a great place to start if you wanted to sample some of Berry's work.

His writing is nothing short of beautiful, intermittently bringing laughter and tears, reminiscent of a simpler time and place, although some of his stories evolve into the current day.

I read a Town Like Alice by Nevil Shute and The Maltese Falcon by Dash Hammett, which I couldn't exactly call classical literature but are both books that have been around for a while. I loved the former, the story of a woman who survives a Japanese death march in World War II and in the process meets an intriguing Australian gentleman. Falcon was a fun read, somewhat melodramatic.

I continued with Alexander McCall Smith's Number One Ladies Detective Agency series with number eleven, The Double Comfort Safari Club, which was every bit as delightful as the previous ten.

On the non-fiction side, I enjoyed Game Change, a page-turning narrative of the 2008 presidential campaign, and George W. Bush's presidential post-mortem Decision Points. It was as one would expect, rather self-serving, but providing an interesting view into the years he occupied the White House.

Also had fun reading In a Heartbeat by Sean and Leigh Anne Touhy, the couple from Memphis who took in football phenonenom Michael Oher, which lead to the eventual book and movie The Blind Side. It's written in a broken-up style that drives me crazy, intermittently first and third person by both of them ( I don't understand how a book editor would ever think a reader would prefer this convention), but once I got past that it was intriguing to get their perspective and some clarification on their story.

My list of "to read" books is growing. FDIL gave me The Fountainhead for my birthday, her all-time favorite, and I have Gresham's latest waiting as well.

For those of you who use the Shelfari bookshelf as I do, I'm always looking at your latest picks. Be sure and let me know your favorites. Good reading to all in 2011.

A good week; a good year

2010-12-30T18:21:00.010-06:00

It has been a really good holiday season. I have managed for the past several years to take off work the week between Christmas and New Year's and I love it. It's just a great time to relax, unwind a bit and spend some time with the family while closing out the year.

I made a list last Sunday night of what I wanted and needed to do this week, with a good balance of worthwhile activities (sweeping the garage, cleaning out the closet, etc.) and fun. I have just about marked everything off.

This Christmas we learned how to "share" since Older Son and FDIL split their time between the two families. Wife and I had vowed some time ago that, when the time came, we would be agreeable and flexible around holidays. It all went very smoothly. The engaged couple spent a good part of Christmas Eve during the day and evening with FDIL's family, then joined us for our Greek Christmas Eve dinner which we did a little late, then church at 11 p.m. It was a beautiful service as usual, made only better by walking out into the beautiful snow at midnight.

Christmas morning I did the usual mid-morning breakfast for the four of us. Older Son and FDIL, after spending Christmas morning with her family, joined us for the afternoon and we did our gift-opening. We had a late afternoon dinner, then all went to see "The King's Speech," a movie I HIGHLY recommend.

Other highlights of this past week have included going to a cool downtown spot that specializes in grilled cheese sandwiches and joining Daughter last night for a great concert presented by the Zac Brown Band. We gave her the tickets for Christmas and she invited me to go with her!

We also had a family game night a couple of nights ago, playing spirited rounds of "Scattergories" and "Phase Ten." I am pleased to report that Older Son, who is super competitive and has an annoying habit of almost always winning, has met his match with FDIL who will not put up with his nonsense.

Spent most of today taking down the Christmas tree and putting away everything. Although I love it, by this time it is beginning to look a little tired and I'm glad when everything is back to normal and looking fresh again.

Only real negative has been a nagging sinus infection that I've been dealing with for nearly two weeks. I broke down and went to the doctor Tuesday and got on an antibiotic. Happily, I'm doing much better.

Wife and I have no New Year's Eve plans. Our offspring will all be otherwise occupied and looks like most of our friends are out of town or have plans that do not include us. Fortunately for us, we can still amuse each other.

Looking toward 2011, we can only fasten our seat belts. We are at just under the six-month mark for the June 18 wedding. We'll have graduations in May, then moving Daughter home and getting Younger Son ready for college. Wife and I have also agreed to chaperone his Senior trip -- a Caribbean cruise in March.

It will be a challenging year at work, as it has been in the banking world for some time now. After enjoying this week off, I will hopefully be mentally ready to deal with all the new banking regulation I'm going to have to try and understand in the months ahead.

Yes, it's been a good week and overall it's been a good year. I am blessed -- far more than I deserve.

A Happy New Year to all of you and enjoy the rest of the holidays. Thanks for stopping by from time to time. Here are some glimpses of the holidays at our place:

Christmas Thoughts

2010-12-24T16:04:00.007-06:00

I think that, the older you get, the more Christmas brings mixed emotions. Overall, it's just an immensely happy time and I love gathering with my family.

But I am keenly aware that it's not happy for everyone. We just heard some awful news from Little Rock. A young man who is a year older than Older Son and used to play with him in our old neighborhood, and whose parents we knew from church, was killed in a plane crash a couple of days ago, along with his wife. A pilot, he was trying to land his plane at the airport in Colorado Springs in unusally heavy fog. They had flown from South Dakotah, where he was stationed in the Air Force, to Colorado to be with her family for Christmas.

Just like that, this family's Christmas is not happy at all, but wrapped in grief and sorrow. Each Christmas now will remind them of this tragedy. And all I can do is offer a prayer for them, that the child we celebrate this time of year will meet them right where they are and comfort them with a supernatural comfort, and help them to somehow know that He does, in fact, make all things new.

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I went to the grocery store early this morning to get a few items for Christmas morning breakfast. The pickings were rather slim, but that's what I get for waiting until today to make my list and get what I needed.

I was surprised that there weren't more fellow shoppers. It really wasn't very crowded. I guess the serious Christmas cooks have already gathered what they need by December 24. Among my peers this morning, though, was a lovely lady who looked to be about 70. Her dark brown hair was swept into a bun, she had high heels on her feet and she was adorned in a full length mink coat.

And that coat reminded me of my mother.

To explain, there was not one thing pretentious or showy about my mom. She hung clothes out on a clothes line until sometime in the 1970s when she bought a used clothes drier at a garage sale. She still hung sheets on the line, and ironed them, until she became sick with cancer in 1996.

She rarely spent money on herself. She clipped coupons with a vengeance and could sniff out a bargain better than anyone I ever knew. She and my dad recycled before it was even called recycling.

So to say my mother lived frugally is an understatment. Sometime in the 1980s, though, after years of her longing and dreaming, my dad bought her a mink coat. I don't know why she wanted a mink coat, of all things, but she did. And the fact that she had lived her life so economically made it that much more cool for her to have something so seemingly extravagant.

And oh, how she loved that coat. It's not like South Arkansas had brutal winters but when the thermometer would hit about 50 or below, my mother would put that coat on and yes, she would wear it to the grocery store and, although I never saw her do it, I would not have been suprised to have seen her wearing it as she hung sheets out on the line.

So this morning, when I saw the dressed-up lady with the mink coat, I couldn't help myself. I told her that it was one of the most beautiful coats I had ever seen and I told her it reminded me of my mother. Her face lit up with a big smile and she graciously thanked me, and said she just loved wearing it. I told her I could tell she did.

And I know mink coats are no longer popular, and are in fact frowned upon, and I am really sorry for the animals that were killed to make the coats. But seeing that pretty lady in the mink coat added a very happy dimension to Christmas for me.

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In keeping with our internationally themed Christmas Eves, we're doing Greek this year. Gyros, Greek salad, roasted potatoes and baklava. And dear Wife, bless her, with the blessing of all of us, got part of it from a Greek restaurant. She has had a low stress day and I think that's just great.

Merry Christmas, everyone.

Not Much Ado

2010-12-23T08:08:00.002-06:00

The supposed to-do over “Merry Christmas” vs. “Happy Holidays,” fueled greatly by media outlets having slow news days, is one of the silliest topics in years and hardly worthy of comment, if not for all the silly comments I hear about it!

So, since a very few who unfortunately have broad forums want to make hay of this, I will offer this comment. Then I am done:

As a Christian, I celebrate Christmas as the birth of Christ (and that’s how “Christmas” got its name). I understand perfectly, however, that we have no record of the actual birth date of Jesus Christ and more than likely, it wasn’t even in the winter. It appears that Christians, at some point in time, adopted this date which actually corresponds roughly with the pagan celebration surrounding the Winter Solstice. Many of the Christmas traditions have pagan roots.

In the public school I attended when I was a child, we had Christmas parties, Christmas plays and Christmas programs. There were references to the birth of Christ. Nobody seemed to get upset over this.

On the other hand, I suppose if there had been a Jew, Muslim, believer in some other deity or a total non-believer in my school, this might have made that person uncomfortable. I knew a fair number of Jewish people in the town where I grew up (although I don’t remember any from elementary school when we had those activities), and as I remember, they had Christmas trees in their homes and attended Christmas parties. They didn’t observe Christmas Day as the birth of Christ, of course, but they took the day off as most did and seemed fine with it. Everybody seemed to handle it all just fine.

Over time, Christmas activities that specifically referenced the birth of Christ became taboo in public schools. They now have to be “holiday” programs. They can make reference to Christmas but should also include nods to Hanukah or other religious observances.

That seems fair enough to me, and in principal I agree with it. But the political correctness of it has gotten way out of hand. In the elementary school my children attended, there was always controversy over Christmas trees, of all things. And they just did away with any Christmas songs religious in nature, opting for only the secular holiday songs.

Again, that’s just silly. Why didn’t they sing “Silent Night” and then sing a song about Hanukah? I remember singing a couple of Hanukah songs in elementary school and I thought it was cool. I don’t recall anyone getting worked up over it.

I am a firm believer in the First Amendment and the last thing I want is government establishing or endorsing religion. But I believe the majority of people in the U.S. celebrate Christmas. And I believe the vast majority of those who DON’T celebrate it don’t mind the rest of us who do, and don’t mind getting the day off work that day.

I saw this atheist guy on a news program this week just going on and on about how Christmas trees in the workplace make non-believers feel bad. I respect this guy’s right to not believe, I really do, but come on. He objects to a Christmas tree?! Does he know that bringing a dead tree inside and decorating it is one of the pagan traditions adopted by Christians to be part of the Christmas celebration? His problems run a lot deeper than he knows if he is threatened by the presence of a decorated tree in his place of employment.

Likewise, as a Christian, I’m not going into apoplexy when someone says “Happy Holidays” instead of Merry Christmas. I’m not going to boycott a store that doesn’t appear to use the word “Christmas.” (I actually boycott most stores but that’s another story). I’d love to have the chance to share with someone who chooses not to observe Christmas why I joyfully celebrate Christ's birth, but I doubt I’ll get that opportunity if I’m having a hissy fit over words.

Ben Stein, a great writer and actor, and a Jew, wrote a wonderful piece a few years ago about how he, a non-Christian, is a happy recipient of a “Merry Christmas” greeting. And if Ben were to wish me a Happy Hanukah, I would also graciously receive it. I wouldn’t need to call the ACLU or go on a news program to yammer about my rights being violated. Here’s part of what Ben said:

I am a Jew, and every single one of my ancestors was Jewish. And it does not bother me even a little bit when people call those beautiful lit up, bejeweled trees Christmas trees. I don't feel threatened. I don't feel discriminated against. That's what they are: Christmas trees. It doesn't bother me a bit when people say, "Merry Christmas" to me. I don't think they are slighting me or getting ready to put me in a ghetto. In fact, I kind of like it. It shows that we are all brothers and sisters celebrating this happy time of year. It doesn't bother me at all that there is a manger scene on display at a key intersection near my beach house in Malibu. If people want a creche, it's just as fine with me as is the Menorah a few hundred yards away.

I don't like getting pushed around for being a Jew and I don't think Christians like getting pushed around for being Christians. I think people who believe in God are sick and tired of getting pushed around, period. I have no idea where the concept came from that America is an explicitly atheist country. I can't find it in the Constitution and I don't like it being shoved down my throat.

Isn’t that great?

Wish me Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays or whatever, and I’m going to say right back at you, friend, may your days be merry and bright and may you be protected from the insane political correctness that is a genuine threat to our way of life, unlike a Christmas tree or a Menorah.

And to the news media, here’s a big news flash for you: this is no longer news. 99.9 percent of us just get along.

Oh Christmas Tree

2010-12-12T11:40:00.006-06:00

We finished decorating the Christmas tree today. I know many of you have had yours up since Thanksgiving or even before but it's always been a slow process for us.

We're too tired Thanksgiving weekend to even think about Christmas. We get a real tree so we usually go get it the first weekend in December. Younger Son, Wife and I went and got it last Saturday morning at Home Depot.

We tried putting it up last Sunday but the old Christmas tree stand we have has seen better days and it just refused to stand (a common occurence -- nay, a tradition of sorts -- with us) and I didn't even say a cuss word. I just carried the tree back to the garage and put it in water and asked Wife if she would pick up a new stand when she had a chance. (Note: there is a video recording of me saying the "S" word while trying to put up the Christmas tree. I have confessed and asked forgiveness but it is forever etched in family lore).

Wife had her Bunko group over this past Wednesday night and she didn't want to fool with the tree while getting ready for that, so she decided to do her other decorating and wait until this weekend to put up the tree.

The tree stood beautifully yesterday in the new stand that has five screws and bolts rather than three. Daughter's home now, so she, Wife, Younger Son and I sat in the den, put the lights on, put the angel on top, then got into some conversation and never quite got the tree decorated. This morning after church we did it.

It's a nice tree and it looks good in our renovated den. With the new configuration of furniture, there's a lot more room for it.

We have had our share of stress this week so I am pleased to report that putting up the Christmas tree was a stress-free, and even joyful, time. I've progressed so much.

Here's Wife and me having fun with the lights:

Sending Season's Greetings

2010-12-10T06:09:00.000-06:00

One of my favorite things about Christmas is sending and receiving Christmas cards. I have always been the correspondent for the family and I guess that goes back to my love of the written word and the fact that I love to read and write.

And yes, I do the dreaded “Christmas letter,” but with a different twist. The Christmas letter, I believe, became popular once copy machines became such a common part of life. When I was growing up, we might have ever so occasionally received a mass produced letter. My mother, a proper and genteel southern lady, scoffed at them as impersonal and, if they contained too much unsolicited information, crude (she liked that word).

They seemed to really take root around the time I got married (in 1984). More and more, we would receive the letters and more and more, unfortunately, they would give WAY too much information and WAY too much “good news” -- all about new houses, new six-figure jobs, exotic vacations and children that are gifted beyond belief.

On the other hand, I love to hear from my friends at Christmas. And really, I love the Christmas letters if they are done in such a way that does not make me feel like a big loser because I’m not as successful as the letter’s author and my children are not National Merit Finalists. Give me a little summary of what you’ve done this year, how your family is doing, etc. and that’s all I really need to know. I don’t need painful details.

I started writing a Christmas letter in 1995 but it was the anti-Christmas letter, explaining how Younger Son refused to be toilet trained, my older two wouldn’t do their homework, Wife was on a cooking strike and I was mad as hell at a Christmas tree that refused to stand.

The response was quite encouraging and I’ve been doing it ever since. I usually try to write something funny, kind of like I would write on this blog. I wrote one in 2002 about my annual battle with the Christmas tree that some of my friends still pull out and read every year. A couple of times my dog Ralph has penned the letter.

But every once in a while I’ll throw a curve and write something a little more poignant or serious. I wrote essays about Older Son and Daughter when it was the Christmas before their respective high school graduations, and this year it will be about Younger Son since he’ll graduate this spring.

I’ll include some personal information but I try to follow the Golden Rule and only say what I would like to read myself.

So, with great humility, I offer you my guidelines for Christmas cards and Christmas letters. Hear me well: these are MY rules that I impose on MYSELF. I'm not saying I expect anyone else to abide by these (although I do, of course, endorse your own adaptation) :

1. Don’t send Christmas cards in town. Wife disagrees with me on this one and I’ve graciously offered to turn over the sending of Christmas cards to her, an offer she has so far not accepted, so the rule remains in place. (It just galls her to see her friends’ refrigerators plastered with holiday photos, with our family conspicuously absent). My thinking is this: my Christmas greeting is intended for those friends and family members who live away from me and who I don’t get to see as much as I would like. If you live in the same town as me, I'll wish you a very Merry Christmas in person. If you think you'll miss me, invite me over for Christmas cheer. And if you want to send me a Christmas card, it will be graciously received and appreciated. Just please don’t feel slighted if you don’t get one from me. I have to draw the line somewhere.

1(a). If you choose to send cards in town DO NOT, under any circumstances, include the Christmas letter. I mean, really. If I am sitting next to you in church or on the bleachers or wherever, I at least have the opportunity to know what's going on with you. I don't need to read it in a letter. This is the height of bad taste.

2. For the Christmas letter, less is definitely more. Include very little, if any, information about vacations, job promotions and/or awards and honors achieved by offspring. This can be done in summary fashion. GOOD: "Mary is now 15, a student at such-and-such and will be released from detention in a month." Short and sweet. Don't poor-mouth it either. BAD: "The third time is definitely the charm and we fully expect Johnny to pass second grade this year."

3. At least part of the Christmas card and/or letter should be in your handwriting, if only the address on the envelope. We have to cut corners, I know that. Time is precious. But I know for a fact (because he has told me) that the yearly card I receive from one of my best friends and his family is formatted on a computer by his wife's secretary, from the photo card to the mailing label. I just don't get a warm fuzzy from that. Hallmark has a commercial where the mom goes online, creates the card and downloads her address list and it's all done instantly. Hallmark addresses and mails it. I just think that's wrong. If you have time, a personal note is lovely (but I understand not usually feasible). Signing the card is good. But if you can do neither of those, at least manually address the envelope.

4. It's OK to send a photo or photos but use good judgment. The photo card is standard practice now and I enjoy receiving them. Like the Christmas letter, these should be tasteful and understated, and one should think long and hard before sending a photo of your family posed in front of the Eiffel Tower or The Great Wall. Likewise, be careful about those photos where you're all in your pajamas. Those are cute when your children are little, not so much when they're teenagers and never when they've all left home and it's just the two of you. Also, a piece of paper enclosed with photos copied onto said paper, which includes a legend, is pushing it.

5. There are times to cut. If your card list exceeds 100, it's probably time to review. Do you really stay in touch with all those people? Do you think they want to hear from you? Would you remember their names if you didn't send them a Christmas card? Would they remember yours? Ask yourself these tough question.

6. An e-Christmas card: NO. No additional comment needed.

7. Be careful about enclosures or adding a smell to your card/letter. The perfumed card, even with a pleasant Christmasy scent, is probably a little much and a lot of people are allergic. And the festive confetti that falls out when you open the card? Remember someone has to clean that up.

8. Try your best to send cards at least by New Year's Eve. I know it's tough with all that's going on in December but it is supposed to be a seasonal card and sending it in January or February is fine, of course, but kind of defeats the purpose, don't you think? Not that I won't be glad to hear from you anytime at all, of course.

Now please don't take offense if you engage in any of these practices. As I said, these are my guidelines. A very Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all. Enjoy those cards and letters.

Good for the soul

2010-12-04T07:17:00.000-06:00

Wife and I both love to travel. We have done it as much as possible during our life together when the budget has allowed and have packed up our offspring and taken them with us. You just can't beat a family vacation.

We did the beach vacation thing more times than I can count, going back to our single days, then as married "DINKS" (double-income, no kids), then with our children as they were growing up, usually going down to the Florida Gulf Coast. We started going to Destin, where the white sand beaches and emerald waters are pristine, a long time ago. Sometimes we would go with or meet other families and we never went that we didn't run into folks we knew. It was (and still is) an immensely popular spot for beach goers.

From Little Rock we could get there in about 11 hours, depending on how many stops we'd make, and from Nashville we can be there in about seven.

The routine would nearly always be the same. We would rent a condo in a high-rise complex on the beach, would take enough groceries for breakfasts and lunches during the week, then usually visit one of the area restaurants for dinner. I absolutely love seafood of just about any kind, and you just can't beat getting it fresh right there by the ocean.

The days consisted of sitting under umbrellas at the beach, frolicking in the waves and making use of the beach-side pools. The place we usually stayed had organized activities for children as an option during the days which Daughter loved (she's always embraced structured, organized activities, hence her early desire to be a teacher) but which our boys would have none of. We also built the ubiquitous sand castles and went through the every-beach-vacation ritual of burying each other in the sand up to our heads and taking pictures of same. We have tons of happy memories of fun times at the beach.

Over the years Destin became more and more populated. The high-rises multiplied, as did the restaurants and shopping centers, as did the traffic and congestion. We eventually migrated eastward to the beaches on Highway 30-A. The little beach villages of Grayton Beach, Seaside, Seacrest and Rosemary Beach -- just to name a few -- all run together and are more sedate than Destin.

Eventually, as the curmedgeon gene took root in my being, I tired of the beach trips. The broiling heat of the summer, the growing crowds, and shaking sand out of everything I own, had all run its course with me. After our last family trip there in the summer of 2004 right before Older Son went to college, I told Wife that, although I cherished the memories of the good times, I believed I was going to be done with the beach vacations for a while.

As it turned out, she and I made a brief trip together in May 2005 right before I started the job I now have. She has been back a number of times without me, with my blessing. Wife loves the beach and will never, ever tire of it. Older Son and Daughter have been a lot closer to the beach at Auburn, so they've spent some spring breaks and long weekends there as well.

This year we invoked a "travel moratorium" of sorts. The house renovations earlier this year ate up the travel budget, and then some. So there were no real summer vacations, to the beach or otherwise.

October came and I still had quite a bit of vacation time to take. It's "use it or lose it" and I just don't feel obligated to "give back" to my employer in that way. I took a couple of days in October, puttered around the house a bit and did some fishing.

Wife and I started getting a little restless about a month ago. Business has been really good for her which is definitely a good thing, but she's weary. The banking regulatory world is making my head spin as well.

So I presented to Wife the possibility of a brief trip over to our neighboring state of North Carolina which I thought we could do quite economically. I suggested we go the week after Thanksgiving, then proceded to tell her all the people we would visit along the way, including a couple of longtime friends with whom I grew up, and a former special teacher I have wanted to see for a long time.

Wife gazed at me with that incredulous look that requires no verbalizing. The look alone said, "Are you kidding me?!" In other words, hopping from point to point seeing people -- some of whom Wife hardly knows and at least one she doesn't know at all -- didn't exactly appeal to her. I kind of dropped the subject.

Coincidentally, around the same time we had dinner with a good friend and client of Wife's who mentioned a condo he owns, guess where? On the Florida Gulf Coast. And we would be welcome to use it for nothing more than a small cleaning fee.

Need I go on? We just got back. We originally planned to leave last Sunday, then moved it to Monday, then finally got out of here very early Tuesday morning. We had thought we might go from there to Atlanta for the Southeast Conference Championship game but ticket prices proved to be astronomical, so we just came on home last night and watched Auburn blow out South Carolina on TV this afternoon.

The time at the beach -- Panama City this time, just east of the Highway 30-A beaches I had most recently visited -- was quiet, definitely the off-season. We took some long walks, did some reading, ate some great food, and Wife got a major part of the Christmas shopping done, which took a big load off of her (I am never much help there). She told me last night on the way home that the beach, quite simply, "brings peace to my soul."

And you know what? That's good enough for me. You know the old saying: "Happy Wife, Happy Life." We're happy here.

Thanksgiving Weekend

2010-11-27T21:52:00.000-06:00

We have had a nice holiday weekend. There were ten of us Thanksgiving Day, including FDIL, as well as her parents, two great people who are already beginning to feel like family. Wife’s parents made the trip over from Arkansas and it was great to have them too. We are indeed blessed.

Wife once again pulled off a wonderful Thanksgiving Day meal, the presentation of which was beautiful and the taste of which was scrumptious. It is a great deal of work for one meal and the clean-up – my part – is lengthy.

Worth it? No question about that.

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I have read a couple of items lately that are definitely signs of the times, as well as indicators of how out-of-touch (and old?!) I am becoming.

The first was a story about evolving manners of communication. Seems most younger folks send text messages more than they talk by telephone. Facebook messages are big too.

E-mail? It’s old fashioned, and the piece I read referred to it as “still used by many OLDER adults (emphasis mine).”

No additional comment needed on that.

The piece I read yesterday was about telephone directories, particularly the White Pages. Apparently, telephone service providers in a number of states are getting permission from the regulators to stop publishing them altogether. This is reportedly due to the fact that (a) people are eliminating their home phones (“land lines”) and moving to cell phones (numbers for which are generally not listed) at a rapid clip and (b) people rely on the Internet more and more to look up information previously provided by the telephone book (addresses and home phone numbers).

I am among those who use the Internet for these search functions. Here is the irony, though: with all the advances in communication and technology, I find that it's harder to locate people with whom I might not regularly communicate. Since most cell phones aren't "listed," I can't get a phone number for someone who has a cell number but not a land line. And it seems that many of the people who have both don't answer their home phones anymore.

Just a couple of days ago, Wife was wanting to contact one of her book club members. We were able to find an address but no phone number.

Wife has insisted that we keep our home phone service and even though she has a cell phone (an i-Phone, no less), the land line is still her preference when she's at home. As for me, I keep my cell in my pocket and have joined those who just let the home phone ring -- until Wife asks me to answer it.

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I hope you have all had an enjoyable holiday weekend. We have watched football until our eyes blurred. We reached near hysteria yesterday when Auburn, after being down 24-0 at one point in the first half to its bitter rival Alabama (at which time you could hear a pin drop in our playroom where eight of us were gathered watching), roared back to an incredible 28-27 victory. This capped off a perfect 12-0 season and a berth in the SEC championship game vs. South Carolina next Saturday in Atlanta, where a victory will secure a spot in the BCS championship game.

The Cam Newton pay-for-play drama is as yet unresolved but, for now, we Auburn fans are euphoric.

Food facts

2010-11-21T15:31:00.000-06:00

Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. There are probably a lot of reasons for that, but it’s probably because it’s less commercial than Christmas has become, it’s in the fall which is my favorite season and so much of it centers around FOOD!

Thanksgiving dinner when I was growing up always consisted of the typical turkey and dressing, cranberry sauce and sides like sweet potatoes, corn pudding and green beans. Then there were the salads – tomato soup and strawberry. Tomato soup salad is not to be confused with tomato aspic which I don’t care for. Desserts were key, of course, and my favorite to this day is pecan pie.

I don’t like to think of myself as a picky eater (Wife is laughing hysterically as she reads this) but, rather, a discriminating one. To her credit, Wife has put up with my weird and sometimes changing preferences over the years. Thanksgiving, the holiday that so pertains to food, seems a good time to share some of those.

As for Thanksgiving dinner, I love, love, love turkey and dressing. “Dressing,” of course, is a regional thing and it has a lot of different incarnations. Here in the South, it’s cornbread dressing and one would never think of putting it inside the turkey. In other words, to us it’s not “stuffing.” I don’t make it myself but I know that one of the key spices is sage and that smell is wonderful. It always makes me think of my mother who made cornbread dressing very similar to how Wife makes it.

I don’t eat gravy of any kind, although it’s a main staple of the Thanksgiving dinner. To be quite candid, it just grosses me out. It grossed me out when my dad put it on turkey, dressing and rolls and it poured over into other food on his plate, and it grosses me out still. I know, that’s crazy, and many people that I love, love gravy, just as my dad – who I also loved, of course – did.

That leads me to other food things that gross me out, like ketchup. I eat it on the rare occasion I eat French fries or onion rings, and when I used to eat hamburgers I would put a little on a burger (more on that later). But I can’t stand to look at ketchup in any other way. Again, people I love will put it on hash brown potatoes or even scrambled eggs at breakfast and all I can do is look the other way. Kind of the same with baked beans – just can’t stand to look at them or eat them.

Texture has a lot to do with my food preferences. I can’t do things that are mushy and creamy (with the exception of desserts).

On to meat. I could probably be a vegetarian; I just don’t want to be. I don’t eat red meat of any kind except hamburger as part of the ingredients in spaghetti or lasagna, both of which I love. My preference would be to make it with ground turkey but since I don’t make it, I keep my mouth shut about that. I don’t like steak or beef of any kind and haven’t had a piece in years. My mother cooked a roast on many Sundays when I was growing up and maybe the repetition is what made me a non-beef eater.

The last hamburger I ate was in Chicago in 2006. We were downtown on a Sunday just before catching the el train to Wrigley Field for a Cubs game. It was about 11 a.m. and a lot of places were closed. We found a bar that would serve us and the owner of the place said their burgers were famous. Well, they might have been famous but they were also cooked medium rare and when I did eat red meat, I could not tolerate anything but well done. I ate about one-fourth of the burger and that was all I could do. So that was it with me and hamburgers. Call me un-American.

I like chicken and I prefer it grilled and very tender. I love fried chicken but don’t eat it very often. I do love it, though. I’ll eat fish of just about any kind, prepared just about any way. I’ll eat pork sparingly, my favorite being pork tenderloin, for which Wife has a number of outstanding recipes.

I like almost all fruits and most vegetables (but not squash, asparagus or Brussels sprouts). I love fresh vegetables from the garden in the summer and could eat my weight in tomatoes. I love bread of any kind but try to eat whole wheat as much as possible and really, I like it better. I love yeast rolls oozing with butter but I can pass on them pretty easily. I love pancakes and waffles for breakfast but I don’t care for eggs of any kind. Generally, I eat oatmeal for breakfast and believe it or not, I eat it dry with a little fruit and maybe a handful of walnuts. When it’s cooked, I get into that texture thing again. While we’re in the breads/grains group, I love pasta and much prefer red sauce over white. I love crackers and crunchy stuff too, likes nuts and granola bars.

I like potatoes, but not mashed (texture again). I don’t like sweet potatoes.

My favorite food on this earth is dessert. I have just an awful sweet tooth. Cakes, pies, ice cream, you name it. So while I can be smug and say how much I like fruits and vegetables, there is no doubt how much I love sweets and I wish I didn’t.

I like casseroles OK but they are not high on my list, except for Wife's incredible chicken spaghetti that our friends and friends of our children drool over.

As for drinks, I have never acquired the taste for coffee and neither has Wife. Just can’t stand the taste of it. We got a coffee maker when we got married and used it for our guests until about two years ago when we replaced it with an updated model. The fact is I rarely drink anything hot unless it’s very, very cold outside and then I’ll drink a cup of tea or cider. I love wine and beer, in moderation of course, but have never cared for the hard stuff. I also love milk (and its byproduct, cheese!)

Funny thing about "soft drinks" in the South. We call them all "Cokes." "Let's have a Coke" can mean a literal Coca-Cola, but can also mean Pepsi, Sprite, 7-UP -- you get the picture. Depending on where you live, you might call it soda, pop or soda pop. I drink a Diet Coke most days and I think the caffeine gives me the lift a lot of folks get from coffee.

Most of you reading this are probably thanking your lucky stars you don't have to live with me and all these quirks. Can't say I blame you.

But I wish you all a very Happy Thanksgiving and hope you will enjoy some very good food!

Misc.

2010-11-18T20:55:00.000-06:00

Haven't said a lot here lately. I've had a nasty cold that I'm just getting over and I promptly gave it to Wife, who was not at all appreciative. She is about three days behind me and we have been sleeping apart for our own good.

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I wrote a long post last week about a trip I took to a used piano store and when I went back and read it, it bored me to tears so, in deference to those of you who are kind enough to drop by here from time to time, I decided not to bore YOU with that.

But to give you the condensed version, I took a couple of old dining room chairs, which I inherited from my parents, to a furniture repair shop I located on the Internet. The chairs are ancient. One had literally fallen apart and one was well on its way. New chairs are not in the budget. Wife and I know we want to replace both table and chairs at some point but again, not going to happen soon.

I delivered them last Thursday and to my delight, the proprietor of the furniture repair shop deals in old pianos that he buys, restores and re-sells. He also sells some on consignment.

After telling him about the chairs and after his telling me he thought he could repair them or sub them out to someone who can, we began to talk about his pianos. As someone who has played the piano since the age of six, this was incredibly interesting and fun for me. He had two baby grands that were made in the 1920s, several uprights, including a Steinway signed by Theodore Steinway, and a few studio pianos.

He told me stories on almost each piano and insisted I play a few notes. The sounds they made were heavenly.

So that's the story. It was an unexpectedly fun experience for me and I can't wait to go back and pick up the chairs and see what new instruments he might have.

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You know what a college football fan I am. Once Older Son went to Auburn University in 2004, we all became ravenous fans. I laughingly say that I have purchased my allegiance, with Older Son, then Daughter, matriculating there, and Younger Son headed that direction next fall.

It's been a storybook season for the Auburn Tigers. They're 11-0 . They have clinched the SEC West and their quarterback, Cam Newton, has taken the place by storm and is the clear front runner for the Heisman Trophy.

Only now it looks like Cam's daddy "shopped" him around when he was leaving Junior College and looking for a place to land which is, of course, a huge no-no. The NCAA is all over it and the whole season could go down the drain if it's found that Cam Newton was in fact ineligible.

Not that it's all about me, but this is the story of my life with regard to the athletic teams I have supported over my lifetime. Always so close, always getting to the point of winning the big prize, only to have something like this happen. Makes one want to look for a new hobby.

You gotta read this one

2010-11-12T14:41:00.000-06:00

FDIL is also a blogger. Her blog has a theme: it's all quotes from her fifth grade students. It's hilarious and you simply must read the most recent entry about the "Jingle Pills." You can read it here: http://misswhatwilltheysaynext.blogspot.com/

Trust me, it'll make you laugh.

Friday Night Lights: A Retrospective

2010-11-06T07:07:00.000-05:00

It's a cold Saturday morning and we had a frost last night, the first hard one of the season. We finally turned the heat on, just two days after running the air conditioning. And of course around these parts, we could have the AC humming again in a couple of days.

Younger Son's football season -- and his football playing days -- came to an end last night. It was the first round of the playoffs and, unfortunately, we were never really in the game against a powerhouse neighboring county team at their home field. This year's playoff system had two district champs playing each other so a good team (us) got knocked out early.

Younger Son was a bit teary when Wife and I met him on the field after the game, as were most of the senior players. These young athletes, so big and seemingly mature, still have a lot of "boy" in them (thankfully) and the emotion of losing their first playoff game and having their last season end so rudely played itself out in their hearts and on their faces, as it should. God gave them those emotions and they're nothing of which to be ashamed.

Wife and I experienced our own emotions on the ride home last night. Younger Son was our only football player in the family and he started when he was in sixth grade, playing in our local city league. We've been going to his football games for seven seasons.

He and I cut a family beach vacation short a couple of days to get him home for his first ever football practice in the late summer of 2004. Earlier that summer we had gone over to the league field house and gotten his equipment -- the helmet, practice pants and jersey, and pads.

As I remember, we arrived home from the beach a couple of hours before the practice was to start. I thought that, since I had not been a football player, I had better study all of this and make sure I knew how to get all of it on him. There appeared to be pads that were inserted into slots in his pants that appeared to correspond with his thighs, knees and butt.

Only I could not figure out what went where, how the belt was to feed through the belt loops or much of anything else for that matter. Younger Son was more helpless than I. I called a neighbor boy who had just graduated from high school with Older Son, a football player, and enlisted his help. He was over in minutes, got it all assembled and we soon had Younger Son outfitted. He walked awkwardly, kind of like the little boy from the movie "Christmas Story" who was so decked out in layers of apparel to keep him warm that he can hardly walk, and when he got pushed over he fell flat and couldn't get up.

The rest, as they say, is history, and Younger Son went on to play for two years in the city league, a year in middle school and four years in high school. He has had his ups and downs along the way and there has definitely been some associated heartache, especially in the high school years. We have had conversations about whether he would continue. I never tried to persuade him one way or the other; it was always his decision. As time went on a lot of his friends on the team called it quits and, consequently, he missed some activities in which he would have liked to participate and he ended up with only a few good friends on the team.

His perseverance and dedication were total and, unfortunately, that wasn't always rewarded. As his dad, that was tough to watch at times. And I know that my speeches on character building and life lessons got tiresome. I told him more than once that, despite feelings to the contrary, it would all go very fast.

Last Friday night, our last home game where we captured the district title, was Senior Night. Before the game, Wife and I walked on the field on either side of him right after he had presented Wife with a yellow rose and both of us with a note he had written, in which he thanked us for sticking by him through all of this.

And last night it ended. After he had gotten back to the school and changed, he called me. He was fine and said he was going to come home and shower, then go meet some of his friends.

Wife and I both hugged him again when he got home. I asked him if it was a somber ride back to the school and he said not really, that most of them realized they had had a good season and there was no use dwelling on it.

He showered quickly. He came downstairs and told us goodbye. He opened the door to leave, looked back over at me and said, "It flew, didn't it?"

"What's that?" I asked.

"Football."

"Yes," I said quietly. "It sure did."

***************************************************************

Here are some shots from the season:

On the offensive line

With his bro and sis

With his proud mom and dad

The "fam"

(BELOW:) the night he was captain; number 70

With his buds

Election Returns

2010-11-04T21:02:00.000-05:00

Some thoughts from this week’s mid-term elections (and I’ll stay off of politics for a while after this):

The news analysts are going crazy trying to figure out what kind of impact the Tea Party and “Tea Party candidates” had on the elections. It boosted Republicans but also hurt them, they’re telling us. Well, maybe. Ultimately, though, it comes down to – shock of shocks – voter preference.

As I have said before, I generally vote Republican but not always. If I lived in Delaware, I would not have voted for Republican Christine O’Donnel. If I lived in Florida I would have voted for Charlie Crist, who ran as an independent, instead of the Republican Marco Rubio. And if I had been an Alaskan voter, I would have written in Lisa Murkowski’s name. I’m not really too concerned about whether a candidate is part of the so called Tea Party or not, a movement with which I have some sympathies but also some differences.

Like any movement or group, there are strong and weak candidates. But obviously, this is a force to be reckoned with. More important is the fact that it’s the independent voter who is calling the shots in this country. As I read somewhere, “Yes we can” has met head on with, “Oh no you don’t.”

****************************************************************

I had been kind of excited about Tuesday night and thought it would be fun hearing the reports coming in from around the country and hearing the pundits babble a bit. Ultimately, though, it was the same tired rhetoric and not that interesting. Whether it was Fox, CNN, or one of the other networks, the talking heads were telling us the same thing with perhaps a different spin here and there. They seemed more excited about the cool special effects – touch-screen poll results, stand-alone graphs that seem to pop up out of the floor, etc. -- than anything very substantive.

And the candidates? Would someone please give them some new material? How many times over the course of my life watching election returns have I heard from every corner and every political persuasion something equivalent to, “The people have spoken and we are taking this country back?” Back from who? Back from what? Again, try something new.

***********************************************************************

I’m done with rock-star politicians. I had a lot of respect and admiration for Sarah Palin when John McCain picked her as his running mate. I think she did a decent job in the campaign. I realize, especially after reading the book Game Change and other accounts of the 2008 election, that she was in way over her head and of course the media crucified her. In hindsight, she probably wasn’t the best pick for McCain. Still, I think she gave it a good run, and in my continuing quest to believe the best in people, I like to believe she had the best interest of the country at heart. (I even believe that about Nancy Pelosi and Barney Frank -- really).

If only she would have gone back to Alaska and finished the job to which she had been elected, I might still be one of her defenders. But I believe that she turned her back on the citizens of Alaska when she resigned as their governor and she lost me as a supporter when she did it. That was the job to which she had been elected and she should have fulfilled her commitment (unless, of course, she had actually gone on to be vice president). When she made the announcement that she was resigning, she said something totally nonsensical about not continuing “politics as usual,” as if that catch phrase was supposed to explain why she was abandoning the people who elected her.

She was barely out of the governor’s office before she was writing a book, touring the country on a bus and signing on with Fox News. I’ve heard that her daughter is on Dancing With the Stars and I don’t know if she’s considered a star or she dances with one (I’ve never seen the show). And of course a run for the presidency in a couple of years is probable. Her style is not unlike that of Barack Obama himself, once the darling of a certain brand of up-and-comers. She’s the darling of a whole different and diametrically opposed brand of them, of course, but the similarities are there.

And this ilk of politics – and politician -- turns me off.

Misc. Friday Thoughts

2010-10-29T17:33:00.000-05:00

It’s been about three weeks since Older Son announced his engagement and things have calmed down a bit since the initial excitement.

He and his fiancé have made a lot of progress. They have set a date, June 18. They will be getting married at the church in Nashville they have been attending for the past year or so and they have a venue booked for the reception. So all systems appear to be go.

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I told my future daughter-in-law I would have to come up with a blog name for her and I think for now I’ll go with the very original “Future Daughter-in-Law” or “FDIL” for short.

FDIL is a no-nonsense type, which I think is a big reason Older Son fell in love with her. She’s easy going and not easily frazzled. She will be a beautiful bride and they will have a lovely wedding but I can tell she’s going to enjoy it and not get into a dither over it all.

She, Older Son, Younger Son and I drove up to Lexington, KY a couple weeks ago, a week after the engagement announcement, for the Auburn-Kentucky game. Older Son drove most of the way and Younger Son rode up front with him.

FDIL and I rode in the back and she had a little stack of bridal magazines she was flipping through. “Just to get ideas,” she said and was folding back pages of things that she liked. I don’t really understand bridal magazines but from what I saw they all look pretty much the same, full of photos of dresses, apparel for attendants, china and silver, etc.

A few days later FDIL was over at the house and had a little notebook (not only is she non-nonsense, she’s also very organized), all about the wedding, including clippings from the aforementioned bridal magazines. She and Wife had fun looking through everything.

*************************************************************************

We are still heavy into football. Younger Son’s last regular season game is tonight and it’s Senior Night. Before the game he, Wife and I will walk onto the field together as the senior players are presented. We still have the playoffs to go, and we’ve clinched a spot, so the season is not over yet. After tonight, though, it is single elimination -- one loss and we’re out. We’ll see how far it goes from here.

Auburn football has us over the moon with an 8-0 record and a quarterback who is front runner for the Heisman Trophy. Daughter, in her senior year, is having a ball and both sons are beside themselves. Still plenty of the season left, though, and we all know how quickly things can change.

Wife and I even made it to the Tennessee Titans’ game last Sunday. We have had tickets the past couple of years but the boys usually use them. Frankly, I’m not a huge NFL fan anymore, much preferring the color and pageantry of high school and college ball to the contrived entertainment and politics of the pros (OK there’s plenty of that on the high school and college levels too but I’m a little more oblivious to it there). Also don’t like to have to find a parking place and fight the crowd. But it’s still hard not go get behind the home team and every five years or so when I have the opportunity, I’ll make the trek downtown and watch a game.

Last weekend both boys had gone to Auburn for the LSU game on Saturday night and would not make it back by noon Sunday, so we decided to use “their” tickets. (I put “their” in quotes because you know who paid for the tickets!)

Wife and I heard about a great shuttle system which eliminates the necessity of having to find a parking place, which in turn eliminates one of my objections to going. We went to our local minor league ballpark which is about three miles from LP Field where the Titans play. We parked there, paid $10 and boarded a very nice bus that took us right to the gate. When it was over we hopped back on and returned. We hardly had to wait a minute. There are bus lanes marked off on game days so these shuttles are essentially non-stop from the ballpark to stadium and back. The Titans are having a pretty good season too and we saw a good game. I might even go back in five years or so.

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You never know what’s going to get a response in the blog world. Most of my posts about business or politics receive polite, yawning comments if any. I even started my most recent entry about mortgage foreclosures with an apology.

But what do you know, six thoughtful, interesting comments from six thoughtful, interesting readers have been posted. In going back and reading my entry, though, I thought I came across a little hard-hearted. Please understand that’s not the case; I was only trying to point out the cold hard facts of the system. A couple of sharp readers pointed out that lenders will (usually) bend over backwards to help someone stay in their home. That’s an excellent point. Most banks do not want to be in the real estate business, nor do they want a defaulted loan on the books.

Along the lines of unexpected comments, I have to wonder if Kelly expected the flood of responses to her recent post about her five pet peeves in which she invited her blog visitors to enter theirs. Kelly has from time to time posted about five “favorites,” everything from books to songs, and has received a number of comments regarding her named topic, but when she wrote about the things we DISLIKE, well, the grumpy commenters came out of the woodwork. Guess we’re a discontented bunch?!

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This Tuesday is election day. We have a governor’s race here in Tennessee and the Republican, Bill Haslam, is thought to be a shoo-in, even though we’ve had eight years of a Democrat, Phil Bredesen, in our state capital, in a very Republican state. The thing is, Bredesen, even though a Democrat, is a fiscal conservative and has been immensely popular among our citizenry.

We have some local state and congressional races in surrounding areas (none that affect me but we get the ads) and I am very tired of their very tiresome advertising. Here in Tennessee, many of the candidates seem to think going on TV dressed in camouflage and holding a gun, or standing in front of a church, will get them votes. No comment here, just stating facts. Maybe they’re right. I’m just glad it’s about over and I don’t have to see it or listen to it anymore, or at least not for another couple of years.

Quite a mess

2010-10-23T14:17:00.000-05:00

I realize this post will be boring to many who read it and I apologize in advance for that. I try to keep my entries warm and fuzzy and controversy-free but every so often I just have to write a little about business or politics. Check back soon for something more soothing.

You might have heard the latest in the continuing housing crisis. It involves foreclosures. Apparently some of the big holders of mortgages have been a little lax in preparing foreclosure documentation. A lady in Maine with a $75,000 mortgage contacted her local Legal Aid group, a representative of which discovered some errors in the foreclosure documents. It snowballed from there. GMAC, the holder of this mortgage, and other big name financial institutions, have halted foreclosure proceedings in a number of states while foreclosure processes among a number of lenders are investigated. Attorneys General in 50 states have joined in to look into it.

I find this interesting because (a) I have spent the major part of my working life in banking (although now I am mainly involved in the deposit and regulatory world); and (b) earlier in my career in Arkansas practicing law, I used to represent banks and mortgage companies and handled a ton of foreclosures.

It’s not the most tasteful work, I can assure you. When it’s a residential foreclosure, it involves putting people out of their homes. That’s painful.

The flip side is that it’s a legal proceeding and we are a nation of laws. Although it is hard to be a part of a process that causes a person to lose a home, the person chose to be a part of that process and agreed that, if he/she could not pay, the house could be sold to help the lender recover. In the vast majority of cases I handled, by the time it got to the foreclosure sale, the borrowers had already vacated the property, having come to terms with the fact that they couldn’t retain something they could no longer pay for.

The underlying concept is this: a person wants to buy a piece of property. If that person can’t pay cash, he/she has to borrow the money. The lender has to have security, or collateral, for the money lent. So the lender, in addition to receiving a promissory note from the borrower, has the borrower sign a mortgage or, in some states, a deed of trust (essentially the same thing) in return for lending the money.

The mortgage instrument is filed in the county real estate records and becomes a lien on the property until the loan is repaid, at which time the lender releases the mortgage and the lien no longer exists (unless, of course, you fail to pay, in which event the lender is able to exercise its right to foreclose on -- and ultimately sell -- the property).

You know if you have ever purchased a house that, when you go to closing, you sign a stack of documents. Among these are the aforementioned promissory note and mortgage or deed of trust. It is very important, both for borrower and lender, that all of this is done correctly. And you also know that, although you have the opportunity to do so, you don’t read every word of every document you sign (although I, much to the annoyance of my wife, have come close).

My position on this is that your failure to read what you sign is not the lender’s fault. If you don’t read what you’re signing and you think you might not understand, you should at least ask questions about it. Nobody is holding a gun to your head making you sign anything and there’s no time limit on a closing – everybody will stick around as long as necessary so your questions get answered.

That’s why, although I’m a very merciful person, I have a hard time always being sympathetic with people who have taken out loans and then later say they didn’t know what they were signing. And if someone doesn’t understand everything he/she is signing, surely that person has to understand that if the loan is not repaid, the property can be taken away.

So now we have a whole bunch of lenders being accused of maybe not dotting every “i” and crossing every “t” when they started the foreclosure process. As I understand it, thousands of foreclosures are being stopped while this is being investigated. And I guess a lot of folks are getting to stay in houses without paying for them.

While some might see this as some type of justice, I think most of us don’t even begin to understand the ramifications. To begin with, if foreclosures are halted, then that segment of homes on the market will shrink, causing (in my opinion) prices to go up, yet artificially. While that might give a temporary boost to the economy since decreasing real estate values have contributed mightily to the downturn, at some point those properties will return to the market, en masse, which will likely cause values to fall faster than they increased earlier.

In addition, the mortgage world is complicated. A large number of mortgage loans made by banks are immediately sold to investors. They are packaged and/or “securitized” and become part of mortgage-backed securities. You also have the whole government (FHA/HUD) and quasi-government (Fannie and Freddie) entities that have a big piece of the pie as well. Many of these securitized mortgages are parts of pension and retirement plans or other investment instruments. When a loan goes bad, it’s important to the investor, whoever it is, that the loss-recoupment process take place efficiently and promptly.

Even the Obama administration, which has tried fervently to paint itself as the champion of the little guy, is advising against an overall foreclosure moratorium. The president has received good advice that stopping this necessary process could have long-term disastrous effects.

This is not to say that holders of the mortgages should not be held responsible for any misdeeds. They must get their acts together on this. Although sometimes burdensome, the technical requirements for foreclosing on a piece of real estate, which vary from state to state, must be met. And there’s really no excuse. Burdensome and tedious? Yes. Difficult? No.

I suspect that, due to the rise in foreclosures, the culprits in this crisis got careless. They didn’t really review what they were signing. Notaries probably didn’t see folks sign papers. Again, there’s no excuse. Hire more people if you have to, but don’t cut corners.

In the end, however, you still have a promissory note signed by Mr. and Mrs. Jones, saying they will pay “X” every month. If they can’t pay, then they are going to lose their property. Even if it is discovered that the mortgage holders didn’t meet the legal requirements, I cannot imagine there is a court in the land that will say the mortgages are just released and hundreds of thousands of borrowers will get to have their homes free and clear.

No, what will happen is the lender will have to go back and correct the error. Mr. and Mrs. Jones might get to stay in their home a little longer but, in the end, they’re still going to have to pay up if they want to stay there. At least that’s my feeling based on experience. With the number of cases I handled, there were times when there were challenges to the process and there were times when corrections had to be made. That resulted in costly delays but I don’t recall anyone ever getting to just retain a property and have the mortgage released.

It’s a mess, that’s for sure. But it’s a mess that can and should – and hopefully will – be corrected. Last I looked there was still no free lunch.

Race for the Cure

2010-10-21T19:41:00.000-05:00

Dear Mama (and yes, all of you NOT from the South, this really is what I called my mother until the day she died),

I meant to write this to you a couple of weeks ago but got a little busy.

Anyway, I wanted to tell you that a couple of weeks ago, 14 years after you died of dreaded breast cancer, I ran in the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure. I signed up on Wednesday before the race on Saturday (yes, I still procrastinate) but managed to send out an e-mail telling a few friends, and I raised a couple hundred bucks for this organization that funds research to find a cure.

It wasn't pretty, but I ran the 3.2 miles. I ran with your name on my back, which made me very proud. Before the race I watched the "Survivors' Parade" in which all the (mostly) women who had survived breast cancer one, five, ten, fifteen and twenty-plus years walked by the rest of us as we cheered.

How I wish you could have been part of that parade. You never had a very good day, though, after your diagnosis in April of 1996. When yours was discovered, it had already spread, even though you had been good about having mammograms. You put up a noble fight, but you were gone six months later.

I sure thought of you a lot the day of the race. I'm going to try and do it again next year and maybe raise more money. I hope that maybe some of the money raised will help acquire better equipment that will detect cancer high in the breast tissue where yours was, which went undetected until it was too late.

Again, I didn't set any records, and I was sure huffing and puffing at the finish line. But it sure felt good, and I felt you with me. You still inspire me.

Love you,

Bob

Cool things happen

2010-10-08T06:29:00.000-05:00

Cool things happen sometimes.

About three years ago I came upon a book called Chasing Francis by Ian Morgan Cron. It's the story of a young Evangelical Christian pastor who has a breakdown of sorts. He deals with the breakdown by going to Italy and retracing the steps of St. Francis of Assisi. He becomes a student of the beloved saint and also of practices and rubrics of the Christian faith that go back thousands of years.

To say I loved the book doesn't even begin to describe my feelings. It resonated with me because it confirmed feelings and concerns that had been welling up inside of me, particularly feelings that my view of God and His universe was too small.

About ten years ago -- a number of years before I came upon this book -- I was beginning to feel that I knew a lot about God, but didn't know Him as well as I would like. I began to ask Him how I might know Him better. I soon found myself serving lunch at a downtown homeless shelter. The Gospels are full of stories of Jesus serving the downtrodden and marginalized. He said that when you're serving people like this, you're serving Him.

As I have previously written here, I went on to be on the Board of Directors of the organization where I started serving lunch and am now in a leadership position there. I see Jesus there all the time and I feel that I know Him better (although I still have a long way to go).

As I have gotten to know Him better, I have developed the strong feeling that He and His kingdom are much more vast than I ever imagined.

The main character in Chasing Francis, whose name is Chase, had a similar experience when he went to Italy and began mirroring some of the practices of St. Francis, who was all about serving "the least of these." Chase had been pastoring a "successful" church for many years, but when he went to Italy on this pilgrimage, his life changed in an unalterable way.

I really don't do the book justice here. Not only is it a riveting story; it is also beautifully written. I cannot recommend it enough, for Christian and non-Christian alike.

Since reading the book the first time (I have since re-read it twice and have read parts of it over and over)I have bought at least a dozen copies to give to friends and have recommended it to countless others. Also, as I have often done with books I love, I did a little research on its author.

I learned at the time that Ian Morgan Cron was the pastor of Trinity Church in Greenwich, Connecticut and is an ordained Anglican priest (although Trinity Church is actually non-denominational).

A couple of months ago, after re-reading a part of the book again, I went online to see if there was any new information on the author. I found he had a new website: www.iancron.com/. Also, much to my surprise, I learned that he had recently moved to the Nashville area!

On a whim a few weeks ago, I sent him an e-mail and told him how much I had enjoyed his book and how it had affected me. I also told him I'd love to meet him sometime. I soon received a response, in which he suggested that we meet for coffee. He even gave me a suggested date and time. I responded that I would be there! (I don't drink coffee but, hey, I'm not splitting hairs over that one).

So last week I had the privilege of meeting the author of one of my favorite books of the past several years. He was as interesting and entertaining as I thought he would be. For an hour and a half he graciously allowed me to bombard him with questions and he shared with me how he came to write Chasing Francis. Like me, he is a voracious reader, and gave me a number of new recommendations, including one that he proposed that I read, then discuss with him over lunch.

He is no longer pastoring a church. He is writing and speaking and is in the process of writing another book which is due to be published next spring. He is represented by an agency and publisher here in Nashville.

The older I get, the more I appreciate the written word, especially when it is written as beautifully as it is in Chasing Francis and evokes thought in me the way it has.

To get to meet the writer of those words? Well, it's just way, way cool.

Reflections on the Big News

2010-10-06T06:02:00.000-05:00

PART TWO OF RECENT BIG NEWS FOR OUR FAMILY:

Older Son dropped by the house on a Friday afternoon a few weeks ago. It’s not uncommon for him to come by, but on Friday afternoons he is usually more focused on the weekend than coming to see us. But we were, as always, happy to see him.

I was upstairs working in our bedroom, enjoying the mobility that wireless Internet and my cell phone give me. I could hear him downstairs talking to Daughter who was home for the weekend.

He came up to say hello. I stopped what I was doing and chatted with him for a few minutes. I think I asked about his plans for the weekend but I don’t remember anything particularly significant about the conversation up to that point.

Wife eventually drifted into the room (this would save her having to ask me every detail of everything he said and becoming frustrated when I would not give enough information). The three of us made small talk for a few minutes. Then Older Son went over to close the door.

Wife and I looked at each other quizzically for a half-second before he announced, “I have something to tell y’all. It’s no big deal. Well, it is kind of a big deal . . .” and he proceeded to tell us that he would soon be proposing to his girlfriend of three years. Yes, one might say that’s a rather big deal.

Only he could hardly get the words out because big old tears started welling up in his eyes. Wife immediately embraced him. I went over and joined them in what, when he was just a little guy so many years ago, we would call a “love sandwich.” We were all three crying. (We’re an emotional bunch if you have not already figured that out).

I am not going to tell you most of what he shared with us that afternoon because some things should remain private between parents and their sons or daughters, but I can tell you that I will treasure those moments for as long as I live.

I will also tell you that I have been proud of him many times in his life. But the way he handled all of this -- going and talking to his girlfriend’s father and making his intentions known, planning every detail to make it special for his soon-to-be fiancée; hearing this from him was truly one of my best moments as his dad.

People who drop by here often know what a sentimental schmuck I am when it comes to my family. This is no exception. We are over-the-top excited.

**************************************************************

He asked us to keep it a secret for the time being. He said he was still shopping for a ring and it would be about three weeks until he sprang this on his intended. He told his sister and brother. He called his grandparents in Arkansas. He called his girlfriend’s brother and her closest childhood friend. He had already talked to her parents. All have been under a strict gag order and were invited to come celebrate with him at the appropriate time. We have all kept it absolutely mum, which has been extremely difficult (for me anyway).

Having received the invitation from Older Son, most of the aforementioned were gathered at our house this past Saturday afternoon about 5 p.m. when the newly engaged couple arrived. He had just proposed and presented her a ring about an hour earlier and she had delightedly said yes. He had planned the small celebration as a surprise for her. (He was obviously very confident in her response).

Older Son’s new fiancée literally fell on the floor when she came in and saw everyone. She was rendered speechless for about three minutes before she regained composure.

There were blessings, toasts and hugs all around. Wife had, of course, prepared a wonderful buffet spread for everyone to enjoy. Some began talking colors of bridesmaids’ dresses while others found their way to the playroom to watch football. It was a joyous time.

When I have the opportunity, I will explain to Older Son that, while he might be the one who set this in motion, from this point forward he becomes pretty much an accessory. Although he might be asked his opinion about styles of invitations, or china and silver patterns (and if he is smart, he will not have one – an opinion, that is), his work (the proposal) is for the most part done. There will be a date set for sometime next summer and his main job will be to show up. He needs to get used to nodding his head, smiling and saying, “yes.”

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Next year will be a busy one for our family as Younger Son graduates from high school, Daughter graduates from college, our daughter-in-law to be (have to come up with a blog name for her) finishes graduate school and we have a wedding.

There will be all kinds of moving out, moving in and moving on, and while the joy will be abundant, I have no doubt that the stress level will at times escalate.

As Wife and I have done so many times over the years, we will need to keep each other grounded. And we will need to remind each other of how very blessed we are.

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Here are some photos from Saturday night.

The Happy Couple (Daniel & Krista)

Picture of their picture!

Celebrating with the family
(Front row: David, Daniel, Krista, Krista's mom)
(Back row: Susan, Susan's dad, Susan's mom, Yours Truly, Maggie, Krista's dad)

We're all OOHKAY

2010-10-03T12:51:00.000-05:00

Before I started this blog, I participated in a community site called “Pearl Soup.” Kelly introduced me to it and some of my other blog friends listed to the right were contributors as well.

Pearl Soup’s members submit written entries called “pearls” and other members can comment and critique. There are also forums for various discussions.

Unfortunately, I encountered some real weirdos who were part of Pearl Soup (none of those I just mentioned, of course) and one of them even tried to pick fights with me online! Heck, I don’t like to fight with people in person, much less via cyberspace, so I disassociated myself from that community site and started my own blog, over which I have more control.

In December 2007, while I was still participating in Pearl Soup, a pearl popped up from a new member named “oohkay.” This was her initial entry:

I am home from college for the Christmas holidays, once again fulfilling my role as the stereotypical twenty-something daughter. It is a role I generally enjoy, aside from the questions that always seem to leap to the forefront of every conversation I have with any older adult, whether parent or friend:

“When are you graduating?”

“What do you want to do after school?”

And worst of all, “Do you have a boyfriend?”

Oh, what a dreaded interrogation. Over the years, even when I have been in a committed and happy relationship, I have always answered this last question with trepidation. Growing up in a wealthy and conservative Southern town, it is often expected that one will find one’s spouse as soon as possible, preferably while still in college. I can’t say I am appalled by the idea. Like many girls, I have been planning every minute detail of my “big day” since the age of four. I know exactly how the cake will taste, what color the bridesmaids’ shoes will be, and most importantly, how my soon-to-be husband’s face will look as I walk down the aisle. Alas, I am a ripe twenty-one years old with no husband to be found. Not a tragedy in my eyes, but close to one in the eyes of many in this Southern town.

I unexpectedly faced this reality during this break. Seeing my college graduation looming closer and closer in the distance, I decided it was time to make a run to the bookstore to prepare to take the GMAT. I have always considered myself a high achiever, a woman who, although she will choose to stay at home with her 2.5 kids and white picket fence, could support the family if necessary. Therefore, I decided to apply to graduate school, and furthermore, I decided it was best that I prepare to be accepted to such a school.

As I scanned the standardized test preparation books, I faced the stark opposite of my reality in the same squared-off nook as myself. A slender, blonde girl, no more than a few years older than me, was pulling wedding planning books off the shelves with her diamond-adorned left hand. She handed each one to her mother as they giggled and glowed over her recent engagement. I immediately felt the sting of jealousy and forced myself to pay attention to the reason I had come to the store. I compared the soft floral covers of the books she was flipping through to the harsh bright colors and complex equations sprawling the covers of my own. Where did I go wrong? Why was I not living every girl’s dream? I could feel my neck tensing with envy.

As I gathered my books to walk away, I glanced at the girl and she gave me a warm, accepting smile. At that moment, God gave me a gentle reminder that His plan far supersedes any plan I might have for my own life. He does not fit His works into the philosophy of a small town. He has phenomenal gifts in store for me.

I walked away feeling proud. I was preparing myself for a brighter future. One that would not only better myself, but one that would be more beneficial in sharing with someone else, should that be in God’s plan for me.

I enjoyed this entry and thought it was well written. I appreciated her very mature perspective. I did not, however, post a comment on it at the time.

Months later Oohkay posted another entry on Pearl Soup in which she referenced something that had happened at Auburn University where, at the time, Older Son was a senior and Daughter a freshman.

I told both Older Son and Daughter about this entry. Older Son replied that he was aware of it, and that it had been penned by a friend of his – one whom I had in fact met, a fellow Auburn student from the suburban Nashville community just south of the one where we live. He had told her about Pearl Soup and had given her the name I used on the site. She had read several of my entries there and decided to join herself.

When I learned Oohkay’s identity, although I did not know her well at the time, I went back and commented on both of her entries. As to the one I have shared here, I assured her, as did several others with the benefit of age, that there would be plenty of time for marriage and she was wise to relax and leave that to her Heavenly Father.

Older Son graduated from Auburn in May 2008 and Oohkay graduated the following August. Both moved back to their respective homes. I have gotten to know Oohkay much better since then. She has continued to be the high achiever she described herself to be in the Pearl Soup entry.

Not long after graduation, as she was working temporary jobs while looking for more permanent employment, her mother was in a terrible auto accident that rendered her unable to walk for about six months.

Oohkay devoted herself fulltime to helping her mother during her lengthy recuperation and to being a support to her dad. Both of her parents have said that they don’t know what they would have done without her during those months. Happily, her mother fully recovered and is doing fine.

In the spring of 2009 Oohkay was accepted into a highly competitive teaching fellows program. She was placed in an at-risk urban elementary school where she is paid a fulltime salary with benefits. She also received a grant for graduate school.

She has been living on her own and supporting herself for some time now. She is teaching during the day, which she loves, and going to grad school at night. She will complete requirements for her Master’s Degree in May.

She obviously knew what she was talking about when she wrote in her Pearl Soup entry that she was preparing herself “for a brighter future.” She is beginning to see some of her dreams come true.

And oh yes, there’s one other detail about Oohkay’s life that’s particularly exciting. It pertains to her other dream, the one that involves “exactly how the cake will taste, what color the bridesmaids’ shoes will be, and most importantly, how (her) soon-to-be husband’s face will look as (she) walk(s) down the aisle.”

It looks as if that dream is coming true as well. I am delighted to report that, just yesterday, Older Son asked Oohkay to be his wife, and she graciously accepted. Sometime next summer Oohkay will become my daughter-in-law.

And I can tell you, unequivocally, that I am completely “oohkay” with that.

(My next post will include highlights of the wonderful engagement celebration that took place at our house last night).

Fall Has Arrived . . . Finally

2010-09-26T13:15:00.000-05:00

Fall weather has finally -- and mercifully -- arrived in Middle Tennessee! We were sitting at Younger Son's football game Friday night. It was Homecoming and I had attended the parade that morning in shorts. I had on similar attire at the game. Temps have been in the mid 90s for the past week.

About mid-way through the third quarter a little breeze began, then a pretty good little shower. Under most circumstances, I would pack it up and head for the car. But when it's my own son playing in his last season, I go to the games equipped with a poncho and umbrella. I'm there for the long haul.

Anyway, the rain lasted for about ten minutes and then it was noticeably cooler. We awoke to a cool, crisp autumn day yesterday morning and have enjoyed a beautiful weekend. Long overdue, I might add.

Wife did the math, and this was our 11th and final Homecoming parade and game at our high school since ours have been students there. One of the cool things about where we live is that we have a lot of the advantages of a big city with Nashville just up the road, but some of the joys of a small town also, and the Homecoming festivities are part of this. There's a big parade on Friday morning with the band, class floats and decorated cars.

There's also the traditional homecoming court with a king and queen from the senior class announced at half-time of the game. Older Son was king his senior year. Daughter always rode in the parade with the class officers and was always heavily involved in float construction for her class, with Wife close on her heels providing food for the workers. Younger Son has always been on the football players' float, except for sophomore year when he was an attendant for his class. So there have been lots of fun times and now we have some great memories.

The game Friday night was great in spite of the brief rain. Younger Son started and had a great game on the O-line, going up against a defender who towered over him and weighed about 350! Younger Son even got some mention in a local online paper. We won big, 42-0, in a game that was expected to be close.

And how in the world did it get to be almost October? If I sit really still, will things slow down, maybe just a bit?

Sports Talk

2010-09-20T20:09:00.000-05:00

This is the time of year where sports take center stage in our family.

Younger Son is in the middle of his senior football season. Our team is 3-2 and the two losses were heartbreakers. There are five more regular season games and then, should we make it, the playoffs start. We look good right now to be in post-season play come November.

Auburn is 3-0. They won a nail-biter in overtime vs. Clemson this past Saturday. Older Son and his girlfriend went down for the game. Daughter was there, of course, and the rest of us watched it on TV. ESPN "Game Day" was broadcasting from there, so we had to watch that Saturday morning.

(Lest you think I am a total slug, I got up very early Saturday morning, went to the Y and worked out -- to offset the ensuing couch potato time -- then went to a meeting at church. The rest of the day, yes, I was non-productive.)

Sunday afternoon, at the hottest game the Tennessee Titans have ever played here in Nashville, the Titans were pitiful, losing to Pittsburgh in a game where they turned over the ball with regularity. It was not nearly as close as the 19-11 score would indicate. Younger Son went to the game and came home with a very red face.

So we were 2-1 over the weekend, which isn't too bad. We would rather have high school and Auburn victories before a Titans victory anyway.

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Not only are we heavy into football right now, but this is when the MLB pennant races get interesting. We're a National League family and the boys are big Atlanta Braves fans. From our door to Turner Field (where the Braves play) is about 3.5 hours so someone in the family usually manages a trip down during the season, if not more. And Daughter can be there in about and hour and a half from Auburn.

The Braves have lead the National League East for much of the season but trail the beginning-to-be-a-dynasty Phillies by three games now. As I write this, they're in Philly playing and are down 3-1 in the 7th. They'll have another three-game series against them in Atlanta later this month. The Braves are leading the Wild Card race right now, but of course every loss will hurt their chances of being in the post-season. We're keeping our fingers crossed.

Elsewhere in the National League, it looks like Cincinnati will take the Central Division while San Francisco, San Diego and Colorado are duking it out for the West.

In typical fashion, my favorite team, the hapless Houston Astros, who have spent a big part of the season dwelling in or near the cellar, now is within five games of being .500. That's after making major mid-season adjustments and trading away most of the players (say it ain't so, Lance!) I've followed through the years.

Over in the American League, the Yankees and Rays are neck and neck for the East and whoever comes up short is almost a sure thing to take the AL Wild Card spot. Minnesota and Texas hold comfortable leads in the Central and West Divsions, respectively.

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I really need to be resting up because with the Division Playoffs, League Championship Series and World Series, and some major college conference matchups, October will be a busy month.

Not There Yet

2010-09-09T22:23:00.000-05:00

There are six realms of technology into which I have not yet delved. Here they are and the reasons I am still abstaining:

1. The i-Phone, or any “smart phone” (e.g. Blackberry) via which the owner can send and receive e-mail and access the Internet. I remain the only one in my family of five who does not have one.

I can foresee the day when I am required to have one for work. Until that day comes, however, my little old flip-phone works just fine. I can make and receive calls and also text, though without a “QWERTY” keyboard (I hate that term), there’s a lot of trial and error and it’s time consuming. I can usually make a phone call faster. Honestly, though, I don’t text enough to warrant the upgrade. I don’t see myself wanting or needing Internet access so much that I must carry it with me at all times. The people who walk around and are constantly engaged with these things greatly annoy me.

2. Facebook. Again, I’m the lone family member who is still holding out. And to be fair, I access Wife’s FB page on occasion to catch up with friends and family members who are her “friends” and to look at photos, especially the ones that Daughter posts.

I don’t see myself relenting on this anytime soon. One reason is that I love to keep in touch with people. I know that sounds contradictory but, if I were ever to start the Facebook thing, I could see myself becoming way too obsessed with it. When I do get on Wife’s page, I’ll find myself typing in random names in the “Search” box, just trying to see who might be out there. I think I’m better off just hitch-hiking off of Wife from time to time when she tells me there is a matter of interest and keeping up via my old fashioned blog.

3. Twitter. While I can fathom MAYBE surrendering one day to Facebook (no time soon), I just don’t see me and Twitter ever getting together. Let’s be real. I don’t care what you are doing every minute of every day and I know you feel the same. No tweets needed in my world.

4. GPS. It’s my understanding that a lot of the smart phones have these now. The stand-alone versions have these voices that tell you where to go and how to get there. I have a friend who argues with the voice. In reality, I guess this is a pretty convenient gadget and I am certainly directionally challenged. Call me old fashioned (again), but I’m sticking with MapQuest and Yahoo Maps.

5. iPod / digital music. I can see this coming. I borrowed Wife’s the other day when I had to have some dental work done. She turned it to the Les Miserables soundtrack for me. Combined with the Novocain and the legal limit of nitrous oxide, I was transported. But, still, I see life left in my CDs.

6. Electronic readers like Amazon’s “Kindle.” I get almost all my books from the library so this is really unnecessary for me. Maybe the library will one day be nothing more than a website from which we download books onto our electronic readers (and that will be a sad day). Until that happens, I’m staying with the real thing. I hardly every pay for books now, so no need to get something that will cost me.

Costs nothing to be kind

2010-09-02T21:51:00.000-05:00

You know, I think there are some lessons to be learned from the economic downturn we have been experiencing the past couple of years.

One of those is how important it is to be civil to our neighbors. By “neighbors” I don’t necessarily mean the people who live by us, although they certainly count, but every fellow citizen with whom we come in contact, especially if that person is working at his/her job. Here are some of the things that got me thinking about this:

I go into a Subway Sandwich Shop every couple of weeks or so. I love their sandwiches because I can dictate exactly how they are made and, since the construction of the sandwich takes place right in front of me, there’s very little chance of it being done wrong. I try to speak clearly and politely to the people on the sandwich line.

Almost every time I go into Subway, though, one or more of the patrons is on his or her cell phone. I’ve talked here before about how people on their cell phones annoy me, but this goes beyond the run-of-the-mill rudeness. People in front of me will inevitably continue their phone conversations while they are trying to instruct the line people what they want on their sandwiches.

What message does this give to the person making the sandwich? This: “I am better than you and my time is more valuable than yours, so I will continue this phone conversation while you conduct the lowly job of making my sandwich.”

Last December, I was in a department store (very rare for me, even at Christmas; I try to stay out of them at all costs). The check-out line was three or four deep. Over to the side was a person who was working another station, like gift wrapping or something like that. The person in front of me decided that she didn’t want to wait in line anymore and went over to this other person doing the gift wrapping or whatever, and began to just go off on her, asking her why she couldn’t help out the overburdened cash register workers.

The store employee politely explained that she had been assigned this other job and did not have the authority to work a cash register. The store customer told her she was just tired of hearing people say "that's not my job" and she would be reporting her to her manager. She then went off in a huff.

Big old tears welled up in the eyes of the store employee. When I had made my purchase I went over to her, took her hand and said, “I just want you to know I think you are doing such a good job. I know it’s hectic this time of year and people are not always kind, but I really appreciate the job you are doing.”

Then the tears just started gushing down her face and she thanked me profusely. I could not have erased the hurt from the words of the other customer, but I hope I helped her out a little bit.

Lest you start telling me what a great guy I am, I am ashamed to tell you that the last example involves yours truly.

I have a lawn service that comes and fertilizes my yard and applies weed killer about a half dozen times a year. I know, I know, I could do this myself, but I live on more than an acre and the fact of the matter is they just do a much better job than I can and it’s worth every penny.

Anyway, this company does a great job but they really call me more than I wish they would. “Just calling to follow up, Mr. McKinney,” one of them will typically say, “and see if you’d like us to . . . (aerate/trim your shrubs/ spray for bugs in the flower bed/ pick your additional service that will cost me more).”

A couple of weeks ago this guy calls, just a few days after one of his colleagues had called me, and I had had enough. I told him I was really tired of the calls, that I didn’t want any additional services and if they kept calling I would just find another service.

The guy on the other end got really quiet, apologized and said he was “just doing his job.” And oh please, just shoot me now. I felt like the biggest heel.

Of course he’s just doing his job. Just like the guy or gal making my sandwich. Just like the lady doing the gift wrapping. It might be that any one of them might wish he/she could do something else, but guess what? Each one of them is working. Each is providing for his/herself and, very likely, a family. They are not collecting unemployment. They might be working these jobs in addition to others for all I know. The last thing someone like this needs is some jerk like me getting in his/her face because I might be tired or having a bad day.

I am blessed beyond measure. My wife and I are gainfully employed. I am going to be kind to my neighbors.

First of the Last

2010-08-20T23:21:00.000-05:00

The start of school came and went with little fanfare around here this year as Younger Son started his senior year of high school. Wife figured out that this is our 20th (and last) year of having a “little one” start school.

It all began when Older Son started kindergarten lo, many years ago. We made a huge deal out of it, of course, taking pictures galore with him and all his little school supplies. As I remember, Wife took him that morning and shed a few tears as she launched her first baby off into the world.

The second day he told us he had tried it and, while it was OK and he liked his teacher enough, he had decided he would rather not go. Somehow in all the preparation, we had failed to tell him that it was a somewhat permanent arrangement. After a few tearful mornings, he finally got in the routine.

Daughter, on the other hand, was born to go to school. From her first day of kindergarten she loved school and will no doubt carry that enthusiasm over to her students when she has her own classroom.

She also LOVED school supplies! She would wait all summer for the trip to buy supplies for the upcoming school year. She would spread them out on the floor and label them.

Younger Son, as he did with everything when his time came, took it in stride when school started for him. When he started kindergarten, Daughter was in fourth grade and she was happy to take him under her wing and show him the ropes.

We used to take their pictures every year when school started. This year, as I said, it was kind of a non-event. I feel kind of bad about that.

So this morning as Younger Son hurried out the door, wearing his football jersey in recognition of tonight’s first game of his final season, I followed him out the door with the camera. After the obligatory eye rolling, he was very accommodating.

Lifetime of Memories

2010-08-13T17:57:00.000-05:00

I mentioned going to Atlanta last weekend with my mother-in-law and father-in-law. At 81 and 82, respectively, they are doing remarkably well and we are so thankful to have them as part of our lives.

Long travel tires them out, though, so when they told us about the possible trip to Atlanta, Wife and I suggested that they drive from Little Rock to Nashville and let us drive them to Atlanta. They liked that idea. They would come here on Friday and the next day we would go to Atlanta, spend the night and return here on Sunday.

The trip was for the purpose of attending a memorial service for Barbara, a friend of my mother-in-law’s from her childhood in Oklahoma. Barbara and her husband moved to the Atlanta area a few years back to be near their daughter and her family and, unfortunately, Barbara became a victim of Alzheimer’s a couple of years ago. She passed away at the end of June.

Her body was cremated and I never fully understood why the memorial service was delayed – whether it was to allow friends and family adequate time to get there, or what – but it worked out well for my in-laws that they could plan, and it certainly helped for us to go with them, which we were glad to do.

Now, I can tell you that my in-laws are among the most efficient people I have ever known. They have never, ever been late for anything. My father-in-law plans for flat tires and breakdowns, always expecting the unexpected. There is always a built-in cushion of time for anything. I was instructed to knock on their door last Saturday morning at 6, but of course they were already awake and almost completely dressed. I served coffee and a light breakfast at 6:30 and we were out the door at 7.

Typically, they had packed separate bags for (a) the trip here and (b) the trip to Atlanta, so no time would be wasted re-packing on Saturday morning. As for me, I had not really given much thought to what I would take for the barely-24-hour excursion so I was, of course, packing Saturday morning. I have no doubt that my last-minute scurrying around unnerved them, but I assure you it wasn’t the first time. (I won’t comment on Wife still trying to decide on Saturday morning what she would wear to the memorial service and/or dinner that night, and finally opting to take a number of different choices).

My father-in-law was equipped with GPS, a physical fold-up map and print-outs from MapQuest, so there was absolutely no chance of our getting lost, either between here and Atlanta (a drive I have made a number of times) or once we got there. I find the lady who speaks on the GPS a little annoying but we’ll talk about that another time.

Wife graciously volunteered to do the driving for the trip down, and her mom rode up front with her; my father-in-law and I rode in the back with the GPS lady, the map and the print-outs from MapQuest.

Our ETA was between 12 and 12:30 EDT (we lost an hour changing time zones) and, although we arrived at 12:20, well within that range, they were a little undone that we were “late.” To their way of thinking, if one is not early, one is late, and that is unacceptable. Since I had not been driving, I bore no responsibility, although I’m sure my failure to pack the night before probably had something to do with it.

Our first stop was lunch at the home of Barbara’s daughter and her family. Barbara’s son and family, who live in Ohio, were also there, as well as Barbara’s husband, Norman, a couple named Helen and Jim who are also longtime friends of my in-laws and now live in Colorado, and Helen's and Jim's daughter. Although Wife and her parents are not related to these people, they are very much like family and have the kind of relationships where, when they get together, no matter how much time has passed, it’s like they have never been apart. My in-laws’ friendships with Barbara and Norman, and Helen and Jim, go back more than 60 years.

Barbara’s daughter had a lovely buffet spread and we sat around a big table and ate and talked. She said that this day would be about remembering Barbara and asked my mother-in-law what her fondest memory of Barbara might be.

Of course my mother-in-law immediately said that there was a lifetime of memories for those two who had known each other since junior high school, but the most significant to her was not one specific time, but rather a span of time during the Korean War. My father-in-law was stationed in Korea and my mother-in-law was home alone.

“Barbara was such a help to me getting through that lonely time,” my mother-in-law said with misty eyes, recalling many days and nights they spent together. This conversation quickly turned from somber to humorous, however, as she related a hilarious incident where Barbara posed my mother-in-law for a picture IN BED with Barbara’s husband, which they mailed to my father-in-law in Korea! My father-in-law said that he didn’t find it all that funny (although he smiled when he said it).

The rest of the day was a continuation of recalling fond memories. The memorial service was uplifting as Barbara’s son and daughter both spoke of a devoted mother who had a zest for life. There were photos displayed in the church foyer, chronicling Barbara’s life as a young girl all the way through being a five-time grandmother. Several of the photos included my mother-in-law and father-in-law.

Back at Barbara’s daughter’s home they all continued to remember. We toasted Barbara’s memory and enjoyed another meal together.

One might think that for me, an outsider who hardly knew Barbara, this occasion might have been, at best, tolerable, or at worst, maybe a bit boring.

It was neither. Getting to see my in-laws yuck it up with their old friends gave me great pleasure. When they are with these folks, they are not in their eighties -- but neither are they in their sixties, fifties, forties or thirties. They are teenagers, or early twenty-somethings, and I have the privilege of seeing them differently. As I said, I did not know Barbara well, having only met her a few times, but I definitely got to know her better last weekend as her life was celebrated. That was fun for me too.

Back at our house last Sunday night we celebrated Wife’s birthday. Monday morning they were gone and reported in, of course, when they were safely home.

They were scheduled for a few days of rest before leaving yesterday for another trip, this time to Southern Missouri, where they would meet their other daughter for a couple of days. I trust the GPS, et al, got them safely there.

Sunday Thoughts; Two Occasions to Celebrate

2010-08-08T17:22:00.000-05:00

Yesterday was Wife’s birthday. We’re celebrating tonight. Her parents are in town and I know they will enjoy being with their daughter celebrating her birthday. We took a trip to Atlanta with them yesterday to attend a memorial service for one of their friends who recently died.

Anyway, I’m grilling some stuff and will bake some potatoes. Older Son and his girlfriend are bringing asparagus and a salad and I ordered a birthday cake from a bakery. The goal is for Wife to have to do as little as possible. Due to her superior culinary and hospitality skills, family meals and celebrations are usually her game. (And if my sweet daughter is reading this, well Sweetie, we are just missing you so much . . . )

This Wednesday is our 26th anniversary. We got married just four days after Wife’s birthday so it’s a double whammy. We rarely give each other anniversary gifts, usually just agreeing to either (a) call some recent purchase our anniversary gift; (b) go out for dinner; (c) say, “Happy Anniversary” to each other; or (d) some combination thereof. With all we’ve had done to our house lately, the mirror in the entry hall, which Wife had technically had “on loan,” will be our anniversary gift to each other. I’m hoping that, with that, we can pronounce the renovation officially “done.”

I just re-read that last sentence and that’s actually funny. We’ll never be done. We’re out of money for this project, so we have limitations. But our house, built in the mid 1980s, will continue to require “tweaking” as long as we’re in it.

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It is almost unfathomable to me that we have been married 26 years. That’s half of my life.

I have written a few other times about marriage. I am very fortunate to have a very happy one. There are many theories on what makes a marriage successful. I hear a lot of people say, “It takes hard work,” and I guess that’s right, but I don’t know that I’ve ever felt that I was working too hard to be – or stay – married. But I know it’s not my charming personality that keeps this institution going.

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Many of my fellow Christians believe that the husband is ordained by God to be head of the household and the wife is supposed to submit to her husband in all things. There are entire books and studies on this. There are some people I really respect who believe this. I respect their right to believe this and believe that they should not be criticized for this belief. For those who subscribe to this belief, it does not in any way mean that husband and wife are not equal; they just have different roles. It comes from Paul’s letter to the Ephesians, Chapter 5.

I’ve pondered this a great deal over the life of my marriage. I have read Ephesians 5, as well as other passages in the Bible dealing with marriage, many times, and I just don’t reach the conclusion that I have authority over my wife. Paul says husbands are to love their wives “as Christ loves the church,” which is an incredibly high standard, one I take quite seriously.

I don’t, however, see the way Christ loves the church to be an authoritative type of love but, rather, a sacrificial and irresistible type of love, the kind of love where one would lay down one’s life, which is exactly what Christ did. And I would do it for my wife in a heartbeat.

There is a verse in Ephesians 5 that says, “Wives, submit to your husbands,” but the one right before that says, “Submit to one another.” To me, as Christians, we should all be deferring and submitting to each other, putting others’ interests ahead of our own. The way I read it, Paul uses a wife’s submission to her husband as an example, but this doesn’t mean that submission is not mutual.

Now, that is not to say that there are not times when Wife submits to a decision I make. We decided when we started having children that I would be the main provider for the family. It took a while to get there because, when our first child was born, Wife made more money than I did. But we eventually reached that point and we both agreed on it. Wife has worked most of our marriage but since we have had children there have been times when she did not work, and most of the time she has worked part-time rather than full time.

In 1997 the company I was working for proposed that I move from Little Rock to Nashville. I thought it would be a good move. Wife thought the job opportunity was good but she did not – in any way, shape or form -- want to move. But because we had jointly decided that I would be primary breadwinner and this looked to be the best thing for me at the time, she submitted and deferred to my decision. I didn’t stomp my foot and demand it but I told her why I thought it was the best thing, and she ultimately agreed. If she had objected, I would have found another job.

As it turned out, it ended up being a lousy job long-term. The company went bankrupt the week after we moved here and six months later they let me go.

And what did Wife do?

Did she say, “I told you so?” Did she insist we move back to Little Rock since we had not even bought a house here and still owned one there? Did she roll her eyes and say, “So what do have up your sleeve now, Big Boy?”

None of the above.

She loved me in an incredible way, encouraged me and prayed for me. She assured me we would be fine (and she was right). She never once said, “This is what I get for listening to you.” Not only did Wife submit to me, but when the result was seemingly not a good one, she didn’t throw it up in my face. Now that’s what I call biblical submission.

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There are times, however, when I believe I’m the one that should be doing the submitting. I’ll give you a recent example.

As I’ve written recently, Younger Son drove himself to camp this summer. Because of this, I saw no reason for us to go for the camp closing.

Wife disagreed. She thought it was important that we be there and see him in his role as “chief” and hear the little talk he would make to the campers. I told Wife that would be a long way to drive for a very short little ceremony and I didn’t think we should go. I felt pretty strongly about it too.

Wife never became angry or upset with me but simply stated that she felt it was important enough that she would be going. I was welcome to go with her but, if I chose not to go, she would go alone. I knew in my heart, however, that she wanted me to go with her.

I went. And you know what? I’m glad I went. I told Wife so. We saw Younger Son in a light in which we had never seen him. He spoke eloquently. We saw parents of young boys thank him for investing in the lives of their sons and we saw him respond to those parents with poise and politeness beyond his years. It was extremely meaningful to me.

Had I not submitted to Wife in this regard, I would have missed that. And if she subscribed to the belief that my word is final, she would have also missed it. And we would have missed a lot.

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So I’m a firm believer in mutual submission.

In reality, Wife and I really don’t concern ourselves too much about it. We love each other and we both try to consider the feelings of the other at all times. We’re not perfect so, obviously, it doesn’t always work.

We’re also not hesitant to say, “I’m sorry” when that is indicated. I probably end up needing to say that much more often than Wife.

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So Happy Birthday and Happy Anniversary to my soulmate. The best is yet to come.

20 Years of Photos

2010-08-06T06:47:00.000-05:00

When Older Son was born in January of 1986 we took pictures of his every move. We made prints for grandparents and sent prints to various friends and family. We felt we owed it to them to let them see the cutest baby ever born.

We also dutifully put those pictures in albums to preserve for years to come and for, you know, posterity and that type thing.

When Daughter was born in November of 1988 we took pictures again. For the first girl born to my side of the family, it was important to document all those frilly little dresses and bows. We put a few of those photos in albums but stopped at about six months.

Then life got busy with two little ones. We still took plenty of pictures and had them developed, but they got put in drawers or boxes so we would put them in albums when we got around to it.

When Younger Son was born in October of 1992 we took a few pictures but not anywhere near the amount taken of his older siblings (this is something he will have to one day sort out with his therapist -- he can send me the bill). We recently had to submit a picture of him as a baby to put in the program for the upcoming football season, something that is done for all the senior players.

That sent me to the “tub.” Not the bathtub, but the rubber container that, I am embarrassed to tell you, now holds the pictures that were taken from mid-1989 until the present. When we moved from Little Rock to Nashville in 1997, we had all these boxes of photos and I don’t even know how they got packed and moved, but somehow they did. Soon after moving we bought the plastic tub, with a lid, and dumped all the pictures in there for the eventual sorting and placing in albums.

One day about twelve years ago I tried to sort the ones that had thus far accumulated, and even enlisted help from the rest of the family. We started on the dining room table and had the best of intentions, but eventually the photos went back to the tub, along with new additions.

But it’s over, friends. The tub has been opened. I am tackling this and I will finish. It might take a year or it might take longer than that, but I am going to finish it. These photos are going to be put in albums in as close to chronological order as I can get.

Getting them in that chronological order is the tricky part, of course. Only a handful of them are dated. For the vast majority, I am required to look at sizes of children (and parents), how much hair I had, whether or not I had a moustache (I shaved in the summer of 1998 after 14 years), numbers of candles on birthday cakes, houses we lived in or hair and clothing styles, and from there make as good an estimate as possible of when the pictures were taken. They are first being placed in accordion folders marked with a year. When that is complete, the album placing will begin.

Although tedious and time consuming, the project is not altogether burdensome. There is a certain element of fun and nostalgia in looking back at all these photos spanning 20-plus years. After about an hour, though, the tedium sets in. I have to take baby steps.

With the advent of digital photography, where we can view the photos instantly, we have far fewer prints made. They tend to stay in directories on our computer. We have had a few of those books made by Shutterfly or Apple. Of course I have not done it, but Wife and Daughter have been able to figure out how to send the photos and a few weeks later have a book of them sent to our home. The photos are scanned right onto the page, on quality slick paper. That seems like perhaps a better way to go than printing them out and ending up with all these prints as we now have.

Of course for the more organized among us, who have conscientiously placed photos in albums and have even made lavish scrapbooks (not at our house), none of this presents a problem. Alas, neither Wife nor I are among those, which is why I must now retroactively try to piece together these past two decades.

Wish me luck . . . .

Almost Game Time

2010-07-30T09:11:00.000-05:00

Wife and I attended the football team's "12th Man Club" picnic at the high school a couple of nights ago, then a scrimmage last night, getting us back in the groove for the upcoming football season.

Fortunately, we had some rain come through Thursday afternoon and the clouds lingered during the picnic, making it a little more tolerable to be outside. Last night was hot as all get-out. Younger Son is completing his first week of two-a-days and he's exhausted, but faithfully hanging in there. I am extremely proud of him.

I am far from the best dad in the world, and my children are not perfect, but somewhere along the way all three of them caught the concept of following through on things. Wife and I always stressed to them that, once you commit to something, you should see it through for the long haul.

Now that's not to say that there are not times when one must cut losses and decide a certain activity is not a fit. For instance, Younger Son once decided he would just love the martial arts. It did not take long to see that he was mistaken. Before we went to the next level where more money and time would be committed, he (and we) decided it was time to bow out. And it was a good decision.

Like many little girls, Daughter took dance lessons when she was about five. Of course she was just the cutest little thing you ever saw in her little tights and slippers. Wife and I probably envisioned her one day being gracefully featured in "Swan Lake" on stage.

After a couple of months of dance, however, it came time to buy the recital outfits. It would have been a signficant expenditure. Wife began to take Daughter's measurements. Daughter looked at her mom quite matter-of-factly and told her, respectfully, that she could take her measurements and purchase the outfits, but she would not be participating in any dance recitals, then or ever. We got the message and the dance career came to an abrupt end.

Younger Son wrestled for two seasons in middle school. It was definitely an acquired taste from a spectator's point of view, but I became a fan and of all the sports in which I've seen my children participate, wrestling might require the most discipline. Those guys are in incredible physical condition. After two seasons, though, Younger Son decided that he would become a one-sport guy and just play football. And he has been committed since freshman year, working out virtually year-round.

Of all the sports in high school, it seems football gets the most attention. There is a certain good feeling in the air when the season turns to fall (although we're far from that yet) and you're gathering on Friday nights.

I didn't play high school football (or any other sport, for that matter) so it has been at times difficult for me to gauge how our school compares with others. I suspect, however, that we're typical.

There are parents who are there at every practice, scrimmage and game who appear that they run the show (or want to give that appearance). A lot of the dads either walk the sidelines or stand up at the top of the stands, with papers in their hands or back pockets, as if maybe they're reporting for the media. I see some of them tracking down the coaches before or after the games. I suspect that they drive some of the coaches crazy, but they probably don't cross them because they give so much time and money.

Sometimes I think a high school football team is kind of like George Orwell's Animal Farm where everyone is equal, but some are more equal than others. For the players, although the standards are high for workouts and practices, there are some who appear to be exempt from those requirements, yet still will get much playing time.

Similarly, for the parents, there's a clear class system. Although I know some of the dads who pace the sidelines or stand at the top of the stands, I'm clearly not part of this group at game time. Frankly, I don't know what I would need to say if I paced with them, or what kind of papers I'm supposed to carry with me, so I'd clearly be out of my league even if I wanted to break in.

Wife and I don't get invited for drinks at the local bar and grill after the games but we are fine to keep a low profile. Wife has cooked some wonderful meals for Younger Son and his teammates the past few years and has gotten nodding approval from some of the "higher ups." We always join the booster club and contribute what we need to (although one day I would love to know what they have done with all that money . . .).

This is the last year we'll be doing this. I can more thoroughly analyze the psychology later. For now it's almost game time.

End of the weekend

2010-07-25T17:51:00.001-05:00

It's the end of the weekend. It's been another scorcher here with the mercury hovering around 100 degrees. The "heat index" which, apparently, is the summer equivalant of winter's "wind chill factor" -- i.e. "the temperature is this, but really feels like this" -- is supposedly in the low 100s or so. It's just not fit to be outside.

So, to avoid outside activity, Wife and I went to see "Toy Story 3" this afternoon. That's right, we went to see a Disney animated movie, Rated G, and we laughed and cried. Wife had already seen it and told me to trust her, that I would love it. And she was right.

Typical of Disney, the humor, though clean as a whistle, likely went over the heads of most of the youngsters in the audience. The laughter came from the parents and/or the older ones in the audience like us.

If you haven't seen it, get yourself to the theater ASAP, or when it comes out on video, make sure you watch it. It's one of the best I've seen in a long time.

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Younger Son is back in the fold now. He was "numb" for a couple of days as he re-programmed himself for home life vs. camp life, but his buddies have helped him to re-acclimate to things. We're awfully glad to have him home.

He starts two-a-days for football tomorrow, if you can believe that. With a school start-date of August 12 and the first football game scheduled for August 21, things get rolling early around here. This is the earliest start date he has had for full-pads practice. The state athletic association apparently decided the players needed a little more time getting used to the heat before the season actually starts. Not sure how I feel about that but nobody asked me, if you can believe that!

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My blogger friend Bob has really been on a roll lately, but today's post about cell phone usage is one of his finest. He expresses many of my own sentiments towards these dastardly-but-seemingly-necessary machines, so I would commend his latest entry for your reading. Bob says he's taking the drastic step of disassociating with people who are more into their cell phones than their dinner companions. To that, I say, "Bravo!"

Getting it off my chest

2010-07-23T18:02:00.000-05:00

I really try to stay away from politics (I really don't count my post about the Tennessee gubernatorial election as political -- yes, it was about an election, but more about the peculiarities of human nature) and I know my political posts get the least comments than any of the others.

That should tell me something. Still, sometimes I need to express an opinion and, well, this is my forum. I never, ever mean to offend and I understand there are those who disagree. That's fine.

Here goes:

-- This new Financial Reform legislation is a stinker, that's all there is to it. It contains upwards of 2,000 pages of new regulations that will apply largely to financial institutions that had NOTHING, I repeat, NOTHING to do with the financial crisis through which we have just lived (and are still living, to a large extent). To the average consumer, it's just going to make banking more complicated.

To me, a lawyer for a bank, well, maybe it's job security, but right now it just stresses me out. I get e-mails every day from law firms and consultants just dying to tell me what it all says and what it all means -- for a fee, of course. Like they know!

All I know is we'll have a new regulator to deal with on top of the other one I deal with every day. I just don't get how that's going to help anybody.

-- Would someone please explain to me what the State of Arizona did wrong by passing a law that requires immigrants to, essentially, be legal? I just don't get what's wrong with that, and why President Obama felt like he had to tax the resources of the federal government and sue Arizona (other than, perhaps, being -- get ready for this -- politically motivated????)

My friend Steve wrote a great post about this a while back. His reasoning makes perfect sense, which is why I'm just hijacking it for your perusal if you want to read more.

I will add what I have long told my children: there are rules everywhere, whether at home, school, in the workplace, or wherever. We might not like those rules, but that does not mean we do not have to observe them.

If the feds are successful in overturning the Arizona law, then somebody on the federal level better get busy enforcing the rules so states like Arizona won't have to take the action they took in the first place.

OK, I feel better, and I promise to return to lighter topics.

Weekend Travels

2010-07-17T11:39:00.000-05:00

Wife and I are in Little Rock today (Saturday). Wife came over a couple of days ago and has spent some time with friends, and I drove over last night. We're now at her parents' house and we'll leave in the morning to drive to Missouri for Younger Son's camp closing.

He may or may make the nine-hour drive back home with us. As I wrote a few weeks ago, he and his buddy drove there in his friend's car so, if he wants to ride back with him, I totally understand. We are looking forward to seeing him, though, and having him back at home after his nearly month-long absence. Soon after he gets home, he'll start his Senior year. That's very hard for me to believe.

I was able to get to Little Rock last night in time to meet one of my old friends for pizza. It had been a long week for me and the pizza and beer -- and especially the company -- really hit the spot. This is one of those guys that I see too infrequently but when I do, it's always an upper and it's always as if no time has passed since we last got together.

He takes me totally as I am, never scoffs at the stupid things I might say, laughs at things I say that I think are funny (but probably aren't) and listens to all the things I tell him about my life and family, showing genuine interest.

And I extend him the same courtesy. I know this is not anything profound and that I am stating the obvious but I'll say it anyway: the older I get, the more I believe that there are only a few things in life that really matter, and solid friendships are among them. It was sure good to see my old friend.

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Backtracking just a bit, Wife and I decided things were just too quiet around our house last weekend, so we hit the road and headed south, first to Tuscaloosa where we spent the night with great lifelong friends of mine who relocated to this part of Alabama from South Arkansas about seven years ago. Like my buddy I just wrote about, being with them is like continuing a conversation. No matter when the last installment might have been -- whether days, weeks or months -- the next part just naturally flows. What a blessing.

Saturday morning we headed to Auburn where we spent some time with Daughter and delivered her a piece of furniture she'll put in her house this fall. She has had a good summer there and has, I think, enjoyed the more relaxed pace of summer school. We had a nice, leisurely time with her and enjoyed one of her friends who hung out with us a bit too.

Older Son stayed at the house with Ralph the Dog, who was no doubt grateful that he didn't have to visit the doggie hotel. Ralph continues his progress with the crate. He doesn't love it by a long shot but he enters it when asked, which is to sleep and when we leave the house. And there's no evidence of any of his "autographs" on the rugs.

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Life will definitely return to a more normal flow when we return home with Younger Son a couple of days from now. He will no doubt have a bit of "re-entry" to deal with as he gets used to life with us again and we'll give him the grace he needs. But we'll sure be glad to have him home.

Daze of Summer

2010-07-09T06:13:00.001-05:00

Well how in the world did it get to be July and almost mid-July at that?!

How many times did I hear my mother say, "Life is short" when I was growing up? Those words still play over and over in my mind; only now I know what she meant.

Last Saturday the daughter of some dear friends got married. Wife hosted the Bridesmaids Luncheon at our house on Friday. As I've written previously, we have been doing a bit of long-overdue renovation and this was the deadline. Although the major stuff was done, there were some lingering matters like hanging pictures again after the painting, placing some furniture and just some general sprucing up. This was all done by Wednesday night before the luncheon on Friday, so we finished with a little time to spare.

Wife, when hosting such an event, is in her element, but it's a lot of work. During the week of something like this, she might get on a roll and stay up way past midnight any given night. She gets really focused on her goal. I managed to work my schedule where I was gone Tuesday through Friday so I would not, ahem, get in her way.

Daughter and her friend came home on Thursday night so they could help and Older Son's girlfriend was also lending a hand. Wife said they all took their orders graciously (I wouldn't say Wife is "bossy" when in charge of such an affair, but she knows what she's doing and needs her helpers to act quickly and ask few questions). I think it turned out just lovely.

The wedding and reception were Saturday night and our whole family was there except for Younger Son, who has been at camp since June 24.

Speaking of, Younger Son and his buddy DROVE from here to Southern Missouri. This was a huge step for Wife and me and we drastically improved our prayer lives during the trip. We insisted on a phone call or text (only while he was a passenger and not driving, of course) every one to two hours. Since they took his friend's car, I kind of hoped maybe Younger Son would never get behind the wheel, but he called at one point to let us know he was about to take over. Yes, I wore out my knees. We sighed with relief when he called to announce they were safely at camp.

Wife and I, along with Daughter and her friend from school, spent July 4 at our friends' lake house. This was the third year in a row they have hosted us, along with a number of others, and it's always a great day of relaxing and visiting (I don't participate in water sports but enjoy looking on), eating some great food and enjoying our own private fireworks display.

Daughter and her friend left to go back Monday about 2 p.m. Wife and I came back in the house and when the door shut, there was the strangest echo. It was eerily quiet. There are always things to do around the house but we have spent so much of the past two months doing these things that we were not inclined to dive into anything. And it's been so blessed hot that the last thing we wanted to do was anything outside.

But the quiet was just screaming at us, so we went to an early dinner then a movie. In about a year, this will be our life, just the two of us.

I so vividly remember the days when we were in the middle of raising three children, and on the rare occasion when we found ourselves alone, we cherished the peaceful moments. We would lie in bed at night, try to talk a few minutes, then hopelessly drift off in mid-conversation. The chaos would begin again in only a few hours.

Right now we're getting a preview of life to come, with a more orderly house and more time on our hands.

Funny how just a few years ago that looked so good to me.

Follow up from 'Audacity of Politics'

2010-06-28T21:34:00.002-05:00

So if you read my last entry, you know the story of my two phone calls.

This morning I'm just working away and the phone rings.

It was the actual CANDIDATE RUNNING FOR GOVERNOR! I swear I thought someone was playing a joke on me but it was HIM!

He allowed as to how we have some mutual friends (which we do) and he knows I'm a guy who "prefers to fly below the radar" (so did he read my blog about not displaying bumper stickers and yard signs?!) but he would really appreciate my support, anything I could do for him. He didn't ask me for a nickel, just for my support and my vote. (I'm still undecided).

He was just as nice as he could be and once I picked my jaw up off the ground and was able to make sounds from my vocal chords, I wished him the best and thanked him for his call.

Wife asked me if I thought of telling him about his minion who called me on Friday, to which I replied no. Just as I don't hold Barack Obama responsible for Joe Biden or Robert Gibbs, I don't hold this candidate responsible for the jerk who called me last week on his behalf.

I'm afraid this guy and his camp may be way over-estimating my sphere of influence. Really weird.

The Audacity of Politics

2010-06-26T11:56:00.000-05:00

As long-time readers here know, I've had a lifelong interest in politics, all the way back to the 60s when Lyndon Johnson ran against Barry Goldwater, the first presidential election I remember.

As a younger man, my interest in politics was also mixed with a strong leaning toward conservatism and I usually voted for Republican candidates. I'm still pretty conservative and usually vote Republican but over the past decade I have mellowed a great deal. I have voted in the last two Tennessee gubernatorial elections for our current Democratic governor, Phil Bredesen, who was also once the mayor of Nashville. Just as he was an outstanding mayor, he's been an outstanding governor. He's a shrewd businessperson and I believe business skills are extremely advantageous when one is running something as big as a state.

As I said, although I am still interested in politics, I don't get nearly as worked up about it as I once did. I look at candidates and I vote according to my conscience. Usually my preference will be Republican but, as was the case in the last two gubernatorial elections, occasionally I'll "cross over." I rarely display yard signs or bumper stickers anymore and, although I'll still participate in a spirited debate, I am careful when I discuss politics among my friends and never presume that someone has the same leanings I do.

This leads me to a telephone call I received yesterday. To give you some background, about a week ago Wife and I received in the mail an invitation to a "reception" which will take place next week at the home of some good friends. I put reception in quotes because it will actually be a fundraiser for one of the candidates running for governor of Tennessee. There's a primary election this summer and the general election will be in November.

We didn't mind receiving the invite from our friends but we also didn't mind tossing it when we saw that the price of admission was a minimum of $500. There was no reply required and I'm guessing our friends hosting the event gave a list of quite a few names to the staff of the candidate. We promptly threw it away and have not given it a thought since.

That is, until I received the aforementioned phone call yesterday.

"Bob," the voice on the other end said when I answered, "this is ________ and I am a friend of ______________ (our friends hosting the reception)."

He went on to say that he was following up to see if Wife and I had received the invitation. I told him yes, we had received it and then asked him, "Doesn't this require a pretty hefty contribution?"

He confirmed that a $500 contribution would get us in. I told him thank you for the invitation but we would not be attending, although we would give consideration to voting for this candidate. Our friends' endorsement carries some weight with us and we've had some other friends express an interest in this particular candidate as well. He thanked me for my time and we said goodbye.

Within about 30 seconds my phone rang and it was this guy again.

"Bob, this is _________ again."

"Yes?" I said, mildly annoyed.

"Well, I was just thinking after we got off the phone that I should call you back and tell you that, if your finances are tight right now . . . . "

And then I became more than mildly annoyed. I interrupted him and told him to hold on just a minute. I didn't say one word about our finances being "tight," I told him. Then I explained to him that we have a certain amount of funds we allocate for giving to certain things, and right now I had no desire to give to any political candidate, not to mention that I am undecided about the governor's race.

Then, as if he hadn't heard me, he said, "Well what I was going to suggest was that maybe you could contact some other people who have some resources and bring them with you, and you and your wife can just come."

And as if that weren't enough, he then proceeded to tell me how he and his wife were so enamored with this candidate, that they had decided to just take part of their "offering" (I guess he meant what he gives to his church) and re-direct it toward this guy running for governor.

And with that, friends, I was rendered speechless and I ended the call.

Is it any wonder the people in this country are FED UP with politics, whether it's on the national, state or local level?

Two Years Running

2010-06-19T15:30:00.000-05:00

I just realized that this blog is two years old today. Two years and 120-something posts later, I'm still finding time to stop by and give an account of what's going on.

I can never thank Kelly enough, who told me about Pearl Soup, which eventually got me here. I am a frustrated writer of the first degree and this gives me an outlet.

To those of you kind enough to read, and especially those who read and comment, I thank you and I am humbled beyond words. It thrills me to read your comments, and to comment on your blogs as well. When I write something that receives zero comments, I always wonder if maybe I've offended (yes, I am a bit insecure). Although I delve into politics on occasion, I try not to be controversial.

To those of who over on the right margin: I've never met any of you in person, except Kelly of course, and probably Pam somewhere in the distant past. I sincerely hope to have the privilege of meeting you sometime, to shake your hand and get to tell you in person how much I appreciate you.

Of course that would require a trip to Texas, Louisiana, Pennsylvania, Utah, California, Florida or Hong Kong. If one of you happens to be in my neighborhood before I make it to yours, let me know and I'll put the coffee on, fire up the grill or prepare whatever it is you might be hungry or thirsty for, and Wife and I will make up the guest bedroom too. We would love to have you visit.

For now, though, I hope you'll continue to drop by here from time to time. You're always welcome.

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Happy Father's Day. I could be called many things, but there is no name I like better than "Dad." There are three outstanding people who call me that, too. What a blessing.

I'm thinking of my own dad today, gone from me now for four years. I think of him every day, with a smile and warm memories.

Happy Father's Day to you too, Dad.

The Oil Spill

2010-06-17T22:06:00.000-05:00

The Gulf Coast oil spill is one of the saddest things that has happened in our country in a long time. The impact is exponential, from the loss of life to the loss of livelihood for those who make their livings in this area.

BP screwed up, big time, and they know it. I don't know what they could have done to prevent this but their cohorts at the other oil companies are making haste to distance themselves from their errant brethren. Makes one wonder, though, if the "other guys" are just breathing easy, thankful that it's not them on the hot seat.

Of course it had to become political. Previous supporters of President Obama are calling him out, a la George W. Bush and Katrina, saying he's a bit late with his figuring out "whose ass to kick" (the president's words).

I'm no Obama fan but really, folks, what did/do we expect him to do? He didn't cause this. And what he has done thus far is mostly ceremonial. Do you think BP would have just said, "Nah, we're not going to take responsibility for this" if the prez had not gone on national TV and then summoned them all to the White House?

Come on! Who else would BE responsible?! They've already spent zillions trying to contain it and doing damage control. (Although their higher-ups, talking about "wanting my life back" and "the small people," could use some lessons in decorum).

As I said, I don't understand it all, other than I know it's sad and it's tragic. When I see the footage of the birds, fish and other wildlife being affected, it breaks my heart. Add to that the folks who live down there and make their livings from the ocean and there's no questioning we've got one collossal mess on our hands. There are probably many lessons to be learned here, even though I don't begin to know what they all might be.

My good friend Bob, who lives in Pensacola, has had some great posts on this lately and he has a much better handle on it than I do. I've enjoyed reading his first-hand accounts of what's happening in his seaside hometown as the oil makes its way to the beaches. If you're looking for some common sense reasoning amidst the bull you're hearing from a lot of the news sources, I would highly recommend a visit to his excellent blog which you can access by clicking on the first of this paragraph or at HELICOPTER PILOT in the right margin of my blog.

Mistakes happen; it's how we deal with them that matters

2010-06-13T21:42:00.000-05:00

All three of my children came up through the ranks of our community's local ball fields where my two sons played baseball and my daughter played softball.

As a family, we spent countless hours at the fields. My wife and I would at times pace back and forth between fields where one of ours might have been up at bat on one, while one played outfield on the other.

We were usually pretty mild parents during these games. Sure, we got excited and cheered enthusiastically, celebrating victories and dealing with defeats. But we tried to keep things in perspective, encouraging our sons and daughter to be competitive and do their best, but to have fun and enjoy the game. We tried to do that too, and I have great memories of those summer nights at the ball fields, where we enjoyed watching the games, eating dinners from the concession stand and getting to know other families.

For the most part, I liked the coaches who volunteered their time to coach the young players. There were some who were over-zealous and some who, in my opinion, put way too much emphasis on winning, but I always thought that, unless they were doing something abusive to my son or daughter, they were above my criticism. After all, they were the ones doing the coaching, not me (for good reason, but that’s another story).

I also tried to observe appropriate decorum with the umpires. Calling baseball games, especially at the adolescent level, is not an exact science and the officiating is, of course, conducted by imperfect human beings. Mistakes are made. It’s disappointing when it happens but it’s not the end of the world.

There were a few paid adult umpires, as well as young folks who would, at about age 13, begin calling games for some of the younger players' games. Unfortunately, some of the parents were just plain awful to the umpires, including to the young ones were trying to learn and make some money. And this unfortunately included some verbal attacks on my two boys who served as umpires for a few games.

I was never there when it happened to them, but if I had been, chances are I would have broken my self-imposed rule of not making a scene at the baseball field. It’s bad enough to go off on an umpire at a child’s baseball game, but it’s inexcusable when that umpire is also a child. But it happened and it happened too often.

With those memories still fresh, it was with great interest that I read the story recently about the pitcher for the Detroit Tigers who was one out away from pitching a perfect game. Alas, the last base runner was called safe. The replay clearly showed he was out. It was a bad call. Not the first one ever made, but one with dire consequences.

What ensued after that bad call, however, is a great lesson to all of us.

The umpire, Jim Joyce, apologized. He owned up to his mistake.

The pitcher, Armando Galarraga, was, of course, devastated. But he seemed to take it in stride and there was no big scene afterward.

The next day, however, told the story of the character of each of these men. They met at home plate and shook hands. Joyce had to wipe back tears. The Detroit fans cheered.

Mistakes happen. Some have more serious consequences than others. But they happen, whether at the community ballpark near Nashville or at a Major League game in Detroit or wherever. Perfection will always elude us, whether it’s on a baseball diamond, in school or at work.

Of course it’s how we deal with a mistake -- whether we’re the one making it or suffering the consequences of one made by another -- that will define us. We can brood and throw tantrums, or we can apologize and forgive.

And now we can take our cues from two guys in Detroit who handled themselves with great class.

Weekend Update

2010-06-12T07:59:00.000-05:00

Well I haven't checked in here in a while and it's been good to catch up with everyone this Saturday morning.

Yesterday I had a little surgical procedure to rid myself of the kidney stone about which I wrote a few weeks ago.

I arrived at the surgery center yesterday morning at 6:30 and was home by 10 with some good drugs that enabled me to sleep most of the day. There has been some discomfort with bodily function (putting it quite delicately) that continues a bit today, and I'm still a little tired but, for the most part, I am on the mend.

My urologist has a warped sense of humor but I guess that comes with the territory. I guess when you're doing your urology residency they give you all the standard jokes.

The only bright spot in all of this would be the wonderful IV drugs I get to have between the time they start getting me ready and the time they put me to sleep. During those minutes, I have not a care in the world and the least little thing will make me laugh. And I take no responsibility for anything I might have said.

I would never consider doing recreational drugs but if anyone ever approached me in the dark of night with some of this stuff when I'm particularly stressed . . . . well I just hope that never happens.

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The renovation is about done at our house and we said goodbye to the painters yesterday. By the time the new floors were installed; the old ones were stripped and sanded; all of the floors were stained; the new lights were installed; and the painting was done, we probably had about 20 people in the house. They were all very friendly too. People who do this type of work just really seem to enjoy what they do and I am very envious of their skills. I am pleased to say, also, that the quality of work on this project has been excellent.

Wife is anxious to get things back "in order" and I am trying to oblige her. We have had this running joke during the 26 years we have been married about "when things slow down" we'll do this, this and this. I keep waiting for that to happen.

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And finally, the best news of all. Ralph has made great progress with his crate-training! Ralph is between 12 and 13 years old and has proven that it's never too late!

It was slow going at first and was at times reminiscent of having a new baby in the house

He would look at us with those longing eyes as if to say, "After all these years, you've decided to put me in a cage?! After all I've done for you?"

There have been some compromises along the way. We have a sectional sofa in the playroom. Ralph has never been allowed on this sofa. About a week into the crate-training Ralph hopped up on the sofa and looked dead-on at his mother. She looked back. She tried to get mad but she ended up laughing.

Ralph 1, Wife 0.

Wife said she would cave on the sofa but held fast on the crate. The crate now resides in our bedroom where Ralph seems happiest. He did not like being left in it downstairs when we would go upstairs to bed.

Until early this week, Ralph would go into the crate at bedtime and when we would leave the house for several hours. It took some coaxing, though, and it was not voluntary on his part. He would always wail a bit when he first entered but eventually began to settle down pretty quickly.

This past Tuesday, however, Wife was in the shower and when she got out, there was Ralph curled up in his crate, having entered it on his own. Now we just say, "Time for bed" and Ralph goes right into his crate.

Wife and Ralph have made great strides in their relationship and we are now confident that Ralph will be able to live out the rest of his days with this family to whom he has been such a faithful friend and companion. I'm very pleased about that.

We're Home!

2010-06-01T20:36:00.000-05:00

Wife, Younger Son and I entered our house again this morning after an eight-day absence and oh my, did it feel good!

We came home to wonderful new hardwood floors. We had to vamoose out of here while they were being installed, sanded and stained. I think it was worth it and they are beautiful, but it was tough being displaced for a week.

Wife managed to stay a couple of nights with some friends, as did Younger Son. I worked in Memphis a couple of days and stayed at my place there. We spent a night in a hotel together here in town one night, then spent part of the weekend in Cincinnati and took in a couple of Reds games. (They played the Astros, my favorite team, who are AWFUL this year, but more on that another time). Sunday morning we left Cincy early and headed to our friends' lake house in North Alabama and they allowed us to hole up there until this morning when we made our way home. Daughter and a couple of friends met us there, and a few of our other friends were there for the long weekend too, so it was a good time.

Given that many of my fellow Middle Tennessee citizens are displaced because of flood damage, I would never think of complaining about having to move out of my home because of something I am doing voluntarily. We know we are blessed just to be able to do this work to our home. But we do appreciate home a lot more now and plan to stay right here during the next phase, which is the painting, which begins next week. We're definitely in the home stretch now.

The Real Thing

2010-05-27T21:03:00.000-05:00

Wife had to make a quick trip to Arkansas early this week. The best thing she brought back with her? Arkansas strawberries!

I will risk offending with this statement but I will make it anyway. There is no strawberry on the face of this Earth that will surpass one that is grown in the State of Arkansas. I can’t explain it but it’s true. (Probably true for tomatoes also, but I’ll leave that for later comment).

I will plead guilty to having a totally emotional and biased point of view. In South Arkansas where I grew up, the coming of spring also meant that the first strawberry crop was imminent (first ones were usually around the first of May). The fruit was sacred in my house. My dad, mom, brother and I all loved them.

For my father, however, the affinity for the lovely red berries bordered on the ridiculous. When he learned of the first strawberries being available, he would call my mother from his office in the late afternoon and tell her he would pick them up on his way home (this meant he would buy them at a make-shift market set up by a grower on the side of the road, or perhaps pick them at a pick-your-own type farm). She knew this was her signal to make sure the other ingredients for his favorite of all desserts were on hand (more on that below).

He had no tolerance for tasteless strawberries, especially those in grocery stores, which had been picked weeks earlier and shipped from some God-forsaken place like California. His belief was that one purchased (or picked) strawberries locally during strawberry season. When the season was over, one would wait until the next season for strawberries again. (Although it was permissible to freeze the freshly picked ones for later use as an ingredient in certain recipes).

I have tried to be a little more open minded than Dad, but some of these quirks, I am afraid, have stayed with me. Read on.

To my way of thinking, strawberries are good in a variety of ways. In my advanced age, where I can gain a pound just by looking at calorie-laden food, I mostly just eat them by themselves. But they’re wonderful in a pie, on top of ice cream or as the key ingredient in homemade strawberry ice cream. They’re very good sliced over cereal or oatmeal or mixed with other fruit. Wife has a great recipe for a strawberry cake. All are perfectly acceptable ways to enjoy fresh strawberries.

Strawberries are never better, however, than when they are served fresh in the most luscious of all desserts, strawberry shortcake.

Unfortunately, many times a dessert is presented as strawberry shortcake when, in fact, it is not. It is an imposter. You might have been a victim of such deception but this is your lucky day. I am here to tell you exactly how to prepare true strawberry shortcake and it is not difficult.

Start with a pie crust (the “shortcake”). You may make one or purchase one. Wife, a wonderful cook, has conceded that a pre-packaged crust that can be unrolled and baked is just about as good as one she can make and, of course, many times easier to prepare. Before baking the pie crust, cut it into circles using a cookie cutter or the top of a drinking glass, about three-or-so inches in diameter. Bake the circles in the oven on a cookie sheet until golden brown.

Next, of course, is the key ingredient – the strawberries. Mash them lightly with a fork or some other instrument (I think you can even buy something for this purpose) until they are just a little juicy, but don’t over-mash them as you don’t want “strawberry soup.” Add sugar as you mash. How much? Depends on how sweet you like them. If the berries are plenty ripe, you won’t need much. Add a little and see how they taste. Do not use Splenda or any other artificial sweetener.

Next -- and this is crucial -- is the whipped cream. You do not use Cool Whip or anything else that might come in a pre-packaged container or, God forbid, a can out of which the concoction squirts. No matter how the manufacturer might package and sell it, this is not whipped cream.

If you’ve never whipped cream, it’s easy. You buy cream in a carton, put it in your mixer and whip away. You can also add a little sugar to this while it’s in the mixer. It’s absolutely heavenly and when I arrive there (in heaven, that is) – where, not only will there be no more weeping, neither will there be high cholesterol and I will have a perpetual 34-inch waist -- I will order an unending supply.

In an individual bowl, place a couple of the crusts, three if you’re really hungry, and break them into several pieces if you like. Put a generous serving of the juiced berries on top. Then top with a liberal dollop of the whipped cream, and prepare for ecstasy.

Remember, this is the only true strawberry shortcake. If you are presented strawberries on a little spongy cake with some kind of topping on it, you may accept it graciously and enjoy, but be aware you are not eating real strawberry shortcake. Similarly, strawberries atop ice cream or pound cake might taste just fine, but this is not strawberry shortcake either. (It is your decision whether or not you want to correct someone who serves any of these items to you and bills it as strawberry shortcake. Wife has asked that I refrain from doing so).

So now you know what it is and, just as important, what it isn’t.

Go forthwith and make some of this for yourself and your household while there are still fresh strawberries. If you are not in Arkansas, you are permitted, of course, to acquire those indigenous to your own area. If you are fortunate enough to reside in Arkansas this time of year, you know the routine.

You may all thank me later.